The Shoulder
The Shoulder
47
Car accidentstidy-elk-307

My wife walked away from a crash that should have killed her and I'm still shaking

I don't even know why I'm posting this. Maybe I just need to put it somewhere.

Yesterday my wife was driving home from work on the highway when something went wrong with her car — she said it started making a horrible grinding noise and then she completely lost control. No brakes, no steering. She drifted across two lanes and hit the median barrier hard enough to spin the car sideways. Another vehicle clipped her from behind and the whole thing ended up on its side in the emergency lane.

She had to climb out through the passenger window because her door was crushed. A stranger stopped and helped her. I keep thinking about that stranger. I should find them and thank them somehow.

She's physically okay — some bruising, a cut on her arm, her neck is pretty sore. We went to the ER last night just to be safe. They cleared her but told us to watch for symptoms over the next few days.

The car is totaled. That part I genuinely do not care about.

What I'm struggling with now is — what do we do next? The other driver's insurance has already called twice this morning. We haven't called back yet. I told my wife not to say anything until we figure out what we're supposed to do. The mechanical failure piece feels important too — like, what if something was wrong with the car that caused this?

I don't know. I'm just really glad she's here. Has anyone dealt with something like this where there might be more than one party responsible?

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9 replies

  • 22
    candid-newt-644

    The mechanical failure piece you mentioned is actually really significant from a legal standpoint. When there's a question of whether a vehicle defect contributed to an accident, there's a whole separate line of investigation — maintenance records, any prior complaints about that vehicle make/model, whether there were any recalls. Don't let the car get disposed of or auctioned off. If it's totaled and the insurance company takes possession, make sure someone documents that the vehicle should be preserved. That's important.

    • 22
      spry-lynx-408

      We went through something similar — multi-car situation where fault wasn't totally clear. The thing nobody told us early on is that your wife may have her own insurance coverage (like MedPay or uninsured motorist coverage) that applies regardless of who's at fault. Worth pulling out her policy and actually reading it, or calling your own insurer — not the other driver's — to understand what you have.

  • 20
    calm-tern-731

    Really glad she got checked out at the ER. I just want to flag — neck soreness after a crash can sometimes take 48-72 hours to fully develop. If she wakes up tomorrow feeling worse, don't brush it off as 'just being sore.' Go back in or see her doctor. Soft tissue stuff from these kinds of impacts can be sneaky. Keep a journal of her symptoms starting now, even small ones.

  • 12
    sharp-finch-115

    I know it's hard to see right now but the fact that she's here, that she had the presence of mind to get herself out, that a stranger stopped — there's something in that. You'll be okay. Take it one day at a time and let people help you figure out the logistics.

  • 10
    bold-beaver-357

    Oh my gosh, I got chills reading this. I'm so glad she's okay. Please just take a breath — you're both in shock right now and that is completely normal. The insurance stuff can wait a few hours. Just be with each other.

    • 7
      candid-stoat-084

      Do NOT call that insurance company back without knowing exactly what you're going to say — or better yet, don't call them back at all until you've talked to someone who knows what they're doing. They are calling twice in one morning because they want a recorded statement before you've had time to think. That's not them being helpful. That's them protecting themselves.

  • 9
    clever-bison-427

    Three things: 1) Don't talk to the other driver's insurance. Full stop. 2) Get your wife back to a doctor if anything changes, and document everything. 3) Talk to a personal injury attorney before you do anything else — most do free consultations and given the mechanical failure angle this sounds complicated. You can deal with feelings later. Right now protect yourselves.

  • 7
    cool-swift-001

    I used to work on the claims side and I can tell you — two calls the morning after an accident is aggressive. They're hoping you're rattled (which you are, understandably) and will say something that limits your wife's claim. You're right to hold off. Also, the mechanical failure angle is a real thing. If something in the car caused or contributed to the loss of control, that potentially opens up a product liability angle on top of the collision claim. That changes everything about how the case gets handled.

    • 10
      honest-traveler740

      Curious whether you did this on your own or had help with it.