The Shoulder
The Shoulder
58
cool-wren-937

My wife was nearly killed by road debris — 7 months in and I'm terrified we'll get nothing

Posting this because I honestly don't know who else to talk to about it. My wife was driving on the highway last spring when a work truck ahead of her shed a massive load of loose gravel and metal scraps onto the road. She hit it at highway speed, blew out two tires, and slammed into a guardrail. She doesn't remember most of it — she was unconscious by the time first responders arrived.

Seven months later and she is not okay. The neurologist thinks she has a TBI. Her right hand has this persistent numbness that makes it hard to grip things. She gets debilitating headaches three or four times a week. Her lower back is so bad she can't sit for more than 20 minutes without pain. She had to stop working — she was a dental hygienist, so the hand and neck issues basically ended that for now.

She's in PT twice a week and just started seeing a cognitive rehab specialist. There's been some small progress on the headaches but almost nothing on the physical stuff.

We do have a PI attorney and they seem solid, but I'm not a lawyer and I don't really understand how this works. The company that owned the truck is trying to say the load was "secured within industry standards" — which feels insane given what happened.

I guess I just want to hear from people who've been through something like this. Did it take forever? Did you feel like the insurance company was trying to drag it out hoping you'd give up? How do you even live through the waiting?

Any experience, insight, or just someone saying they've been there would mean a lot right now.

16replies

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16 replies

  • 19
    bold-crow-546

    Keep a shared document — just a running log with dates, symptoms, appointments, anything she can't do that she used to be able to do. Write in it every few days. It sounds tedious but that record becomes incredibly valuable and most people don't start it until way too late.

  • 15
    quiet-badger-837

    The combination of symptoms your wife has — the hand numbness, cognitive issues, chronic back pain — those don't always improve on a predictable timeline, and honestly some of them may be long-term. I'm not saying that to scare you, I'm saying it because it's important her doctors document ongoing and potential future impact, not just where she is right now. A lot of people get evaluated once and the records make it sound like a snapshot. Her condition needs to be tracked continuously.

  • 13
    patient-stoat-276

    I used to work on the claims side and I'll be honest with you — when a case involves a TBI and documented loss of income, the carrier knows the exposure is significant. That's often when they get aggressive with the 'standards compliance' argument up front. They're hoping to establish liability doubt early. The fact that your attorney is already involved is genuinely good. Make sure every single medical appointment, every missed workday, every prescription is documented. The file you build now is what matters later.

    • 5
      honest-traveler366

      This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you.

  • 12
    bold-newt-244

    That 'industry standards' defense is a classic move — they're testing to see if it scares you into settling fast or giving up. Don't let anyone from their insurance company talk to your wife directly. Like ever. If they call, just say 'our attorney handles all communication' and hang up. They are not on your side, even if they sound friendly and sympathetic.

    • 7
      humble-swan-549

      Has the truck company actually been formally named in a suit yet, or is this still in the pre-litigation phase? And do you know if there were any witnesses or dashcam footage secured early on? I ask because debris cases can hinge a lot on what evidence was preserved in those first few weeks. Not doubting you at all — just want to understand where things actually stand.

    • 6
      soft-spoken-backseat397

      Following up on this — any update on how it turned out?

  • 12
    bright-fox-938

    I just want to say — you're carrying so much right now. Taking care of her, managing all of this legal stuff, probably working and trying to hold everything together. Please make sure someone is checking on you too. It's really easy to disappear into being a caregiver and forget that this is traumatic for you as well.

    • 8
      steady-traveler292

      Thanks for sharing. Hope things are getting a little easier for you.

  • 11
    mellow-raven-383

    A few practical things that might help you feel less lost: ask your attorney specifically about whether they've retained an accident reconstruction expert, because in debris cases that's often how liability gets proven when the other side disputes it. Also ask where they are in the discovery process. You don't need to understand every detail, but knowing what phase you're in can make the waiting feel less like a black hole. Good attorneys should welcome those check-in questions.

    • 8
      mellow-offramp995

      Following up on this — any update on how it turned out?

    • 1
      tired-optimist565

      This is really helpful — thank you for posting it.

  • 9
    calm-vole-199

    I was in a bad one two years ago — commercial vehicle at fault, serious injuries, the whole thing. That line about 'secured within industry standards' is so familiar it made my stomach turn. The other side will say whatever they need to say early on. It took nearly two years for everything to resolve for us, and there were so many moments where I was convinced we'd get nothing. Hang in there. The waiting is genuinely awful but it doesn't mean it's going sideways.

    • 3
      weary-traveler650

      Appreciate the detailed write-up. Saving this for later.

  • 9
    mellow-mole-454

    Not legal advice, but — cases involving commercial vehicles and TBIs are among the more complex PI matters out there, partly because the defense has resources and partly because TBI damages can be hard to quantify for a jury. The 'industry standards' defense usually gets challenged through expert testimony and OSHA/DOT records. If your attorney hasn't mentioned expert witnesses yet, that's worth asking about. The strength of those experts often shapes how the other side values the case.

    • 3
      hopeful-walker817

      Going through something similar right now. Did following up actually move the needle for you?