The Shoulder
The Shoulder
65
mellow-hare-828

We walked away from something that should have killed us and I can't process it

I don't really know how to start this. About six weeks ago my sister and I were driving home on the interstate after a family thing. Someone in the lane next to us overcorrected at highway speed and clipped our rear end. We went into a full spin, hit the median barrier, and rolled. I remember the world just... rotating. Glass. Noise. Then stillness.

We ended up on the roof in the middle of the road. I kicked out the windshield and pulled my sister out because we smelled something burning and I was terrified it was going to catch. There were cars stopped everywhere. A semi had jackknifed trying to avoid us.

The paramedic on scene — I'll never forget this — grabbed my arm and said "I radioed in expecting fatalities." He looked genuinely shaken. That sentence has been living in my brain ever since.

The driver who started the whole thing? Gone. Nobody got a plate. Just... left us there.

Physically we're okay. Some soft tissue stuff, my sister has headaches that won't quit. But mentally I'm a wreck in a way I didn't expect. I space out mid-conversation. I flinch at every lane change. I started crying in a parking lot last week for no reason I could name. I feel disconnected from myself, like I'm watching my life through a window.

I'm grateful. I know I'm supposed to lead with that. But grateful and completely lost can exist at the same time apparently.

Has anyone else felt this way after something like this? Does it get better? I don't even know what questions to ask.

13replies

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13 replies

  • 11
    wise-mole-892

    The disconnected feeling you're describing — watching yourself from the outside — I felt that for months after my accident. Nobody warned me that surviving something traumatic could feel so disorienting. You don't have to be grateful every second. What happened to you was terrifying and your brain is still catching up to the fact that you're safe. Give yourself room to feel all of it, not just the "right" emotions.

    • 8
      curious-optimist106

      This is really helpful — thank you for posting it.

    • 3
      soft-spoken-mile-marker171

      Thank you both, this gave me the push I needed to make the call.

  • 20
    quiet-newt-550

    What you're describing — the spacing out, the emotional numbness, the hypervigilance while driving — those are really textbook signs of acute stress response, and they can absolutely develop into PTSD if left unaddressed. That doesn't mean it WILL, but please don't wait to talk to someone. A trauma-informed therapist, not just a general counselor, makes a big difference. Your brain literally went through a life-or-death event and it's trying to file that away somewhere safe. It needs help doing that. The physical injuries get treatment; this deserves the same.

    • 5
      quiet-neighbor528

      Appreciate the detailed write-up. Saving this for later.

  • 11
    bright-fox-350

    I teared up reading this. Please don't apologize for posting it. You needed somewhere to put this and that's exactly what this place is for. I'm so relieved you and your sister got out.

  • 12
    tidy-dove-232

    I know the mental health piece is the most important thing right now and I don't want to minimize that at all. But when you're ready — and only when you're ready — please make sure every therapy appointment, every psych evaluation, every doctors visit related to this is documented and tied back to the accident. Insurance companies on the other side of a hit-and-run claim LOVE to argue that emotional distress isn't real or isn't connected. Paper trail protects you.

  • 8
    bright-beaver-682

    Not legal advice, but since a hit-and-run is involved: depending on your state, your own uninsured motorist coverage may be the primary way you recover anything here, and UM claims have their own deadlines and quirks. The emotional and psychological injuries you're describing are compensable in most jurisdictions — they're real damages. Worth at least a free consult at some point so you understand your options. But right now, take care of yourself first.

    • 10
      quiet-optimist442

      That lines up with what my adjuster told me too.

  • 9
    clever-marmot-827

    Worked claims for years. The hit-and-run piece complicates things but doesn't leave you with nothing — your own policy's UM/UIM coverage exists precisely for this scenario. What I'd caution you about: if your own insurer contacts you for a recorded statement, you are not required to give one immediately. You can say you're still under medical care and need more time. Adjusters are trained to move fast while people are still shaken. Slow it down.

  • 18
    mellow-kestrel-338

    I know "silver lining" feels hollow when you're in the middle of the fog, so I'll just say this: the fact that you're here writing this, that you're feeling things even if they feel wrong, means you're processing. That's your mind doing its job. Six weeks out from something like that and you're upright and reaching out — that matters.

    • 3
      kind-driver572

      This is really helpful — thank you for posting it.

  • 15
    calm-vole-808

    Two things: get into therapy specifically for trauma, not just general talk therapy — there's a difference and it matters. And call your insurance company to report the hit-and-run if you haven't already, because there are time windows on that. Do those two things and you've done enough for today.