The Shoulder
The Shoulder
65
sharp-beaver-516

We walked away from a rollover with our kids inside. Still shaking days later.

I don't even know why I'm posting this. Maybe just to get it out somewhere that isn't my family group chat where everyone keeps saying 'you're so lucky' and I just want to scream.

Last week we hit a patch of black ice coming home from my sister's place. The truck fishtailed and we went off the shoulder — rolled at least twice before we stopped. My husband and our three-year-old and our seven-month-old were all in the car with me.

The kids were okay. Both of them. Not a scratch.

I keep typing that like if I say it enough times I'll actually feel relief instead of just... terror replaying on a loop. Our car seats did exactly what they were supposed to do and I will never stop being grateful for that.

My husband got a pretty bad gash on his forehead from the side window. I have two cracked ribs and a sprained wrist. A passing driver stopped and stayed with us until the ambulance came — I don't even know her name and I think about her every day.

We're physically recovering but honestly the mental part is wrecking me more than the ribs. I flinch every time someone brakes too hard near me. And our three-year-old keeps waking up crying, won't tell us why, just clings to me. It breaks my heart.

The insurance stuff is already starting — adjuster called TWO days after the accident wanting a recorded statement. I didn't give one. Something felt off about the urgency.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? How do you even start to process it? And should I be worried about the insurance pressure this early?

11replies

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11 replies

  • 20
    hearty-vole-780

    Who was at fault for the accident — was it a single vehicle situation from the ice, or was another driver involved? That changes the insurance picture a lot. Also, are both kids confirmed cleared by a pediatrician specifically, or just the ER visit the night of? Asking because sometimes soft tissue stuff in little ones isn't obvious right away and worth a follow-up.

  • 19
    sharp-owl-043

    Oh my gosh, I feel this so deeply. We had a serious accident two years ago with our kids in the car and the physical injuries healed way faster than the emotional ones. My youngest was clingy and tearful for months after. We ended up doing a few sessions with a child therapist who specialized in trauma and it made a real difference — just something to keep in mind. You're not alone in this.

  • 19
    steady-swan-309

    Please don't underestimate the cracked ribs — they're painful and healing takes longer than people expect, and the real risk is people shallow-breathe to avoid pain and end up with respiratory issues. Make sure you're doing the breathing exercises your doctor gave you even when it hurts. Also what you're describing — the looping fear, the flinching, not feeling 'okay' even though you 'should' — that's a really normal trauma response. Please consider talking to someone. You went through something genuinely terrifying.

    • 19
      cool-marten-065

      Three things: Don't sign anything, don't give recorded statements, and get a free PI consult before you do either. Most of them cost you nothing unless they win. You've got injured adults, potential trauma impacts on minors, and an insurance company already showing up early — that's a situation worth getting proper eyes on.

  • 15
    bold-raven-698

    I know it probably doesn't help much to hear this right now, but the fact that you instinctively knew something was off about that adjuster call and didn't give the statement? That was really good instinct under pressure. A lot of people in shock just go along with it. You protected your family again, just in a different way.

  • 14
    kind-crane-547

    A few practical things worth knowing: First, you're not obligated to give a recorded statement to the other party's insurer — ever, really. Your own insurer may have different policy requirements, so check your documents. Second, keep a running note on your phone about symptoms, sleep issues, anything the kids say or do that seems like a reaction to the crash. That kind of documentation matters more than people realize. Third, with two adults injured and young children involved, this is probably worth at least a free consult with a PI attorney before you settle anything.

  • 11
    keen-finch-848

    I used to work claims and I'll be honest with you — early contact after a multi-injury accident involving kids is pretty standard playbook. The hope is that you're still in shock, grateful everyone survived, and you'll downplay everything. 'Oh we're fine, just some bruises.' That recorded statement gets used to cap your claim later. You were smart to decline. You can request everything in writing going forward.

    • 0
      hopeful-survivor371

      This is really helpful — thank you for posting it.

  • 6
    gentle-otter-865

    I just want to say that the 'you're so lucky' comments, while well-meaning, can feel so dismissive when you're still inside the fear of what could have happened. You survived something awful. It makes complete sense that your nervous system hasn't caught up yet. Be gentle with yourself.

    • 6
      careful-passenger174

      Solid advice. Getting it in writing is the part most people skip.

  • 5
    candid-sparrow-595

    You did the RIGHT thing not giving that recorded statement. Two days out?? That's not them trying to help you — that's them trying to lock you into minimizing your injuries before you even know the full extent of them. Cracked ribs can have complications that show up weeks later. Don't talk to them without knowing exactly what you're agreeing to.