The Shoulder
The Shoulder
65
calm-wolf-126

I watched someone die at a truck stop last night and I can't shake it

I don't even know why I'm posting this here. Maybe because I need somewhere to put it.

I was parked at a busy truck stop off the interstate last night, waiting out a mandatory rest period before my next run. It was late, maybe 2am, one of those weird quiet stretches where the lot is half full and the lights don't quite reach the back rows.

A driver — older guy, work boots, reflective vest — was walking between two rigs when a bobtail backing up just... didn't see him. I heard it before I saw it. The sound was wrong. People came running. Someone called 911. I got out and stood there like an idiot because there was nothing I could do.

Paramedics worked on him for a long time. A long time. And then they stopped.

The driver who hit him was sitting on the curb maybe 20 feet from me, face in his hands. He kept saying I didn't see him, I didn't see him over and over. I believe him. That lot was dark. Visibility was bad. It didn't matter — you could see it destroying him in real time.

I gave a statement to the police and then just sat in my cab until sunrise. Couldn't sleep. Still can't really eat.

I didn't know that man. But he showed up to work last night same as me. Same as any of us do.

I guess I'm posting because — if you drive for a living, please. Walk like they can't see you because sometimes they genuinely can't. And hug whoever you've got at home.

Rest easy, whoever you were.

14replies

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14 replies

  • 17
    careful-stoat-030

    What you're describing — the inability to sleep, not being able to eat, replaying it — those are really normal acute stress responses after witnessing a traumatic event. That doesn't mean you just push through it. If those symptoms are still with you in a week or two, please talk to someone. A lot of trucking companies have EAP programs with free counseling calls, and there are also hotlines specifically for first responders and witnesses to traumatic incidents. You matter too.

    • 4
      thankful-road-soul491

      Adding this: keep copies of every email. It mattered for me.

  • 15
    bright-wren-548

    Not pushing back on your experience at all — that sounds genuinely awful and I'm sorry. I'm just curious, are you doing okay to keep driving right now? Like, are you in a headspace where you feel safe on the road? No judgment either way, just asking.

  • 13
    mellow-dove-057

    You did everything right. You stayed, you gave your statement, you didn't run from it. That matters. Now take care of yourself — eat something, drink water, and don't make any major decisions for a few days. Your brain is still in shock mode even if it doesn't feel like it.

    • 0
      tired-optimist135

      Solid advice. Getting it in writing is the part most people skip.

  • 13
    genuine-sparrow-566

    The part about the other driver sitting on the curb saying he didn't see him — that hit me hard. I've been on both sides of accidents and the guilt the not-at-fault person carries is so real and so overlooked. Both of you are going to need support from this. I hope you both find it.

    • 3
      steady-survivor145

      Wish I had seen this a month ago — would have saved me a lot of stress.

  • 11
    clear-raven-475

    I'm so sorry you had to witness that. I was in a serious lot accident myself a couple years ago — not a fatality, but bad enough — and the sensory memory of it stays with you in ways you don't expect. Certain sounds, certain lighting conditions. Give yourself real grace right now. What you're feeling isn't weakness, it's just being human after something traumatic.

  • 9
    swift-marmot-650

    Thank you for writing this. Truly. Be safe out there, and please rest before you drive again.

    • 1
      tired-rider545

      Seconding this. The same approach worked for me last year.

  • 8
    calm-raven-522

    Please don't sit alone with this. Seriously. What you described would shake anyone to their core. Is there someone you can call — even just to talk? You don't have to process this by yourself.

    • 14
      steady-wolf-851

      I know this feels impossibly heavy right now. But the fact that you're writing this, that you're thinking about who he was to his family — that's not nothing. He didn't die invisible. You saw him. You're carrying him a little. That's a kind thing, even when it hurts.

    • 9
      swift-swift-668

      I know this post isn't about legal stuff and I'm not trying to make it that — but just as a heads up for anyone reading: if you're a witness to a fatal workplace or lot accident, be careful about what you sign or who you give detailed written statements to beyond law enforcement. Companies and their insurers move fast after fatalities. You don't have to talk to anyone except the police.

  • 6
    steady-newt-906

    Echoing what the person above said — as a witness you have rights too. If anyone reaches out to you representing the trucking company, the lot owner, or any insurer asking for a recorded statement, you're not obligated. Just something to be aware of as the coming days unfold. Right now though, please just focus on taking care of yourself.