The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Car accidentsmellow-stoat-341

Walked away from a bad crash and now I can't stop shaking — is this normal?

I don't really know how to start this. I was in a serious accident about two weeks ago and physically I'm mostly okay — some bruised ribs, a mild concussion, a few stitches. By every measure the doctors and paramedics kept saying I was "incredibly lucky." And I know they're right. I know that.

But I can't stop replaying it. I'll be making coffee or trying to watch TV and suddenly I'm back in that moment right before impact, bracing myself, not knowing what was about to happen. The dreams are the worst. I wake up at like 3am and my heart is hammering and I genuinely cannot calm down for like an hour.

I keep catching myself thinking — I should just be grateful and move on. People have it so much worse. Other people don't walk out of crashes like mine. So why am I falling apart over something I technically "survived fine"?

To make it all messier, some of the family stuff that came up in the aftermath really stung. When you're lying in a hospital bed thinking you might have just had your last few minutes on earth, you notice pretty fast who shows up and who doesn't. And that hurt is just kind of... sitting on top of everything else now.

I guess I'm asking — did anyone else feel like this after a crash where you came out mostly okay physically? Like am I allowed to be this wrecked about it, or am I making too big a deal out of something I should be grateful I survived?

11replies

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11 replies

  • 10
    silent-marmot-684

    You are absolutely allowed to feel exactly the way you're feeling. I walked away from a rollover two years ago with nothing worse than a sprained wrist and I was a complete disaster for months afterward. The body keeps score even when the injuries are "minor." What you're describing — the replaying, the 3am wake-ups, the physical shaking — that's a real trauma response, not drama. Please don't minimize it just because you didn't end up in the ICU.

    • 16
      candid-wren-700

      What you're describing sounds a lot like acute stress response, which can absolutely follow a serious accident even when the physical injuries are relatively minor. Your nervous system went through something genuinely terrifying and it doesn't care that the X-rays came back mostly clear. The intrusive replays, sleep disruption, hypervigilance — these are textbook. Please mention this to your doctor at your follow-up if you haven't already. There are people who specialize in exactly this kind of trauma and it does get better with the right support. You're not being dramatic, you're being human.

  • 13
    daring-tern-857

    Sending you so much love. Please don't measure your pain against what could have been worse. You went through something terrifying and your feelings are valid, full stop.

    • 6
      weary-parent190

      Seconding this. The same approach worked for me last year.

  • 20
    kind-fox-170

    I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but the fact that you're aware of what you're feeling and reaching out — even anonymously — is genuinely a good sign. A lot of people just white-knuckle through this stuff and it comes out sideways later. You're already doing the harder, healthier thing by acknowledging it. That takes guts.

  • 8
    warm-stoat-161

    Two things: First, look up PTSD and acute stress disorder — I'm not diagnosing you, just saying what you're describing lines up closely enough that you should talk to someone who actually knows this stuff. Second, on the family front — I'd let that sit for a minute before you address it. You don't have the bandwidth for that conversation right now, and it'll still be there once you're on steadier ground.

    • 3
      tired-neighbor429

      Wish I had seen this a month ago — would have saved me a lot of stress.

  • 22
    swift-wolf-976

    Not dismissing what you're going through at all — but I'm curious, have you had a proper follow-up after the concussion? Asking because concussions can genuinely affect mood, anxiety, and sleep in ways people don't always connect back to the head injury. Sometimes what feels purely emotional is also partly physical. Worth checking with your doctor specifically about post-concussion syndrome if you haven't already.

    • 0
      calm-traveler824

      This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you.

  • 7
    calm-dove-965

    Not legal advice, but just want to gently flag — emotional distress and psychological impacts after an accident are real and documented parts of a personal injury claim if another party was at fault, or sometimes even in single-vehicle situations depending on road conditions. The symptoms you're describing, if documented by a mental health professional, can matter legally down the line. Don't just suffer through this quietly; get it on the record with a doctor or therapist regardless of anything else.

  • 20
    cool-finch-167

    The family thing hit me hard reading this. After my accident I had a couple of people I expected to show up who just... didn't, and weirdly that grief kind of fused with the trauma of the crash itself. It's a lot to untangle. Be patient with yourself on that part too.