The Shoulder
The Shoulder
46
swift-bison-835

Two crashes in less than a year and my family acts like I should just be over it??

I don't usually post stuff like this but I genuinely don't know where else to turn right now.

Last spring I was a passenger in a really bad crash on the interstate — the driver lost control and we spun out into a barrier. I broke a bone in my foot and had whiplash for weeks. Got some therapy after that, did the work, thought I was doing okay.

Then a few months ago — different driver, different situation, but another bad one. This time we went off the road and hit a fence and a parked trailer on someone's property. I walked away with cuts and bruises physically but something about going through it twice has really done a number on me mentally.

Here's the thing: my family keeps brushing it off. Like "you're fine, you weren't seriously hurt, stop dwelling." And maybe compared to some people's stories that's true? But I can't sleep. I get this wave of panic every time I'm in a car and someone brakes hard. I keep replaying both crashes in my head at random moments.

I never went back to therapy after the second one because my family made me feel like I was being dramatic. But it's getting worse not better.

I guess I'm just asking — has anyone else dealt with this after multiple accidents? Is what I'm feeling normal? And honestly, should the mental health stuff even be something that gets considered if there's ever an insurance or legal situation? I don't even fully understand how any of that works.

Thanks for reading this far. Even just knowing someone heard this helps. 💙

12replies

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12 replies

  • 12
    tidy-owl-132

    Please don't let your family convince you that you're being dramatic. I was in a single accident and it took me almost a year to feel okay in a car again. TWO accidents? In less than a year? Your nervous system has been through a lot. What you're describing — the sleep problems, the panic when someone brakes — that sounds like a really normal response to repeated trauma. It doesn't matter that you "walked away." You still went through something scary. Twice.

    • 22
      spry-hare-605

      What you're describing sounds a lot like symptoms of PTSD or at minimum acute stress response — hypervigilance in cars, sleep disruption, intrusive memories. These are real, documented physiological responses to trauma, not just "being in your head." The brain doesn't distinguish between "bad enough" and "not bad enough" crashes — it just knows it was scared. Please talk to a doctor or therapist, even if your family thinks it's unnecessary. You deserve actual support, not just to be told to move on.

    • 10
      kind-newt-681

      To answer your question about insurance and legal stuff — yes, mental health absolutely counts. Anxiety, PTSD, sleep disturbance, and emotional distress are all things that can be documented and considered in a claim. The key is actually getting treated so there's a paper trail. If you see a therapist and they document your symptoms and connect them to the accidents, that becomes part of your record. A lot of people only think about the physical injuries and then realize later they never documented the psychological impact. Get into therapy not just for yourself but also because it protects you if you ever do pursue anything legally.

    • 19
      plain-fox-942

      Just a heads up — if you're still within any open claim windows for either of these crashes, be really careful about what you post publicly and what you say to adjusters about how you're "doing." They will absolutely use "I'm fine" statements to minimize your claim later. Document everything you're going through privately — a journal, therapy notes, anything. Adjusters are not your friends even when they sound sympathetic.

  • 7
    keen-wolf-285

    I'm so sorry your family is dismissing this. That part honestly might hurt almost as much as the crashes themselves. You reached out here which means part of you knows you need support — trust that instinct. You're not being dramatic, you're being human.

    • 1
      patient-driver297

      Appreciate the detailed write-up. Saving this for later.

  • 19
    gentle-wren-046

    Not legal advice, but I'll say this much — in personal injury, mental and emotional harm is as compensable as physical harm in most states. The challenge is documentation. If you haven't already, please see a mental health professional and be honest with them about both accidents and the timeline. That professional record matters a lot more than people realize. Whether or not you ever pursue a claim, your wellbeing comes first — but those two things aren't mutually exclusive.

    • 7
      honest-passenger346

      Seconding this. The same approach worked for me last year.

  • 9
    genuine-mole-035

    The fact that you went to therapy after the first crash and felt better shows you actually know how to heal — you've done it before. You just need to let yourself do it again. Reaching out here is already a step. The path back exists, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

    • 6
      curious-optimist818

      Curious whether you did this on your own or had help with it.

  • 11
    plain-wolf-312

    Stop waiting for your family to validate what you're feeling. Make the therapy appointment yourself. You're an adult, you know something is wrong, and you have every right to get help without anyone's permission or approval. Two accidents in one year is a legitimate trauma history. Treat it like one.

    • 0
      kind-passenger402

      Solid advice. Getting it in writing is the part most people skip.