The Shoulder
The Shoulder
59
steady-mole-021

Two bad accidents before I turned 20 and now I'm terrified to drive — anyone else?

I don't even know where to start. I'm 19 and I've been in two serious crashes in the last year and a half, and I genuinely feel like my brain is broken when it comes to driving now.

The first one wasn't my fault — someone ran a red light and clipped me hard enough that my car spun into a curb. Airbags, tow truck, the whole thing. I was shaken but I pushed through it and got back behind the wheel after a few weeks.

Then a few months later I got sideswiped on the highway by someone who didn't check their blind spot. My car got pushed into the next lane. I walked away physically okay but something shifted in me after that one.

Now every time I try to drive I feel it in my chest before I even turn the key. My hands grip the wheel so tight they go white. Last week I made it about six blocks, felt a full panic attack coming on, and just pulled into a parking lot and sat there for 20 minutes. I eventually drove home but I was miserable the whole time.

I'm not injured in any ongoing way (well, I still have some neck stiffness from the second one that I'm dealing with). This is more of an emotional thing and I feel kind of embarrassed even typing it out.

Is this normal after multiple accidents? Did anyone else go through this? How long did it take before driving felt like just driving again and not like bracing for something terrible? I feel like I'm going crazy and I'm only 19. I can't avoid driving forever — I have work, I have a life.

Any support or been-there stories would genuinely mean a lot right now.

10replies

Not sure what your claim is worth?

AskMatlock can connect you with an independent injury lawyer for a free case check — no pressure, no cost to start.

Check my case

0 / 4000 · posted under a randomly assigned handle

10 replies

  • 26
    gentle-badger-774

    What you're describing sounds a lot like a trauma response — totally textbook after repeated scary events. Your nervous system basically learned that cars equal danger, and it's trying to protect you. The physical symptoms (tight chest, hands gripping, panic) aren't you being weak; they're your body doing what it was designed to do after threat exposure.

    I'd genuinely encourage you to look into a therapist who does EMDR or cognitive processing therapy — both are specifically designed for accident-related trauma and can work really fast compared to regular talk therapy. Also worth mentioning the neck stiffness to a doctor if you haven't already, because sometimes unresolved physical pain keeps the anxiety loop going.

  • 18
    genuine-otter-300

    Not legal advice, but just so you know — anxiety and emotional distress after an accident are real, documentable damages. If the second crash involved another driver's negligence, the psychological impact isn't something you just have to absorb quietly. A lot of people don't realize that when they're focused on the physical stuff. Worth at least having a conversation with someone about your options if you haven't already.

    • 7
      mellow-co-pilot418

      Adding this: keep copies of every email. It mattered for me.

  • 16
    swift-marten-934

    Not trying to be harsh here, but I'm curious — have you talked to a doctor at all since the second accident? Sometimes anxiety this intense after a collision can have a physical component people don't connect, like a concussion that wasn't fully diagnosed or even just pain that's keeping your nervous system on high alert. Worth ruling out before assuming it's purely psychological.

  • 13
    plain-swift-072

    If you dealt with insurance after either of those crashes, just be careful going forward. Adjusters are trained to close claims fast and cheap, and emotional/psychological impacts are often the first thing they'll downplay or ignore. "She seemed fine" is a common one. Make sure anything you're dealing with — including the anxiety — is documented somewhere, even just in your own records.

    • 1
      steady-survivor639

      This is really helpful — thank you for posting it.

  • 12
    kind-raven-089

    You are absolutely not going crazy. I was rear-ended pretty badly two years ago and the anxiety afterward was almost worse than the physical stuff. I'd white-knuckle every merge and flinch at brake lights for months. It does get better — slowly — but it's real and it's valid. Don't let anyone tell you to just "get over it."

    • 19
      bold-raven-046

      Honestly just reading this made me stressed for you. Two accidents in that short a window is so much for one person. Please be gentle with yourself — you went through something scary twice. That's not bad karma, that's just really bad luck, and your reaction makes complete sense.

    • 5
      hearty-elk-845

      You walked away from BOTH of those. That's actually huge. Your instincts — pulling over when you felt the panic coming on — are good instincts. You're not reckless, you're cautious to a fault right now. That awareness is something to build on, not be ashamed of.

  • 8
    daring-heron-518

    Therapy. Specifically trauma-focused therapy, not just general talk. I know that might sound like a lot but honestly six sessions of the right kind of treatment can do more than a year of white-knuckling through drives hoping it gets better on its own. In the meantime, short low-stakes drives — parking lot, quiet street, ten minutes — can help your brain slowly re-learn that most drives end fine.