The Shoulder
The Shoulder
67
Property damagecalm-owl-914

Totaled my car 3 weeks after buying it. Can't sleep, can't stop replaying it. Anyone else?

I don't even know where to start. I'm writing this at 2am because every time I close my eyes I'm back in the intersection.

About three weeks ago I was driving to a family thing — literally a Sunday afternoon, nothing unusual. I had the right of way, I know I did. A truck came out of a side street and hit me so hard my car spun completely around. I don't remember the actual impact. One second I'm driving, next second I'm sitting sideways in the road staring at a crumpled door that used to be next to my face.

Here's the part that's eating me alive: I bought that car six weeks ago. Brand new to me. Second payment hadn't even posted yet. I saved for two years for that car. Two years. Gone in a second.

Physically I'm... okay-ish? Soft tissue stuff in my neck and shoulder, some bruising. Nothing broken. But I feel like something in my brain broke instead. I'm irritable with everyone I love. I flinch at intersections. I cried in a grocery store parking lot yesterday because a truck parked next to me and I panicked.

The worst part is I keep second-guessing myself. What if I misremember the light? What if somehow I caused this? My family keeps telling me I didn't do anything wrong but the doubt won't go away.

I know logically that's not how it works. But emotionally I can't shake it.

Has anyone else gone through this mental spiral after a crash? How long did it take to feel like yourself again? And does talking to a lawyer actually help or does it just add more stress to deal with?

14replies

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14 replies

  • 20
    hearty-marten-330

    Not legal advice, but just so you know: the mental and emotional symptoms you're describing — the sleep disruption, anxiety, hypervigilance — can absolutely be part of a personal injury claim. They're documented, real damages. A lot of people don't realize that and just focus on the physical stuff. Worth at least a free consultation before you sign anything with any insurance company. Once you settle, that's usually it.

    • 22
      daring-tern-173

      I used to work on the claims side. The self-doubt you feel? Adjusters are trained to gently reinforce it. Phrases like 'well, could you have seen them sooner?' or 'what speed were you going?' are not casual questions. They're building a file. You don't have to answer anything beyond basic facts until you're ready and ideally have someone in your corner. Your uncertainty is understandable and human — don't let them weaponize it.

    • 10
      kind-beaver-347

      I just want to say I'm really sorry. The car thing on top of everything else — two years of savings — that's a grief all by itself, separate from the physical stuff. You're allowed to be devastated about that. Both things can be true: you're physically okay AND you lost something that meant a lot to you and that really, genuinely hurts.

  • 20
    daring-wolf-672

    The emotional and psychological impacts you're describing are often categorized as 'pain and suffering' or sometimes as a separate claim for emotional distress depending on the state you're in. Either way they need to be documented — which means telling your doctor, ideally seeing a therapist and having that on record, and keeping your own journal like the other commenter mentioned. If this ever goes anywhere legally, that paper trail is what makes those damages real to the people reviewing your file.

    • 1
      tired-commuter969

      How long did it end up taking in your case?

  • 19
    careful-marmot-123

    The second-guessing is SO real and nobody talks about it enough. After my crash I convinced myself for weeks that I must have done something wrong even though the police report clearly put fault on the other driver. Your brain is in survival mode and it's trying to find something YOU could have controlled, because that feels safer than accepting it was random. It fades. Slowly, but it fades.

  • 13
    daring-stoat-921

    Do not talk to the other driver's insurance without being really careful. They may call you sounding super friendly and sympathetic, but their job is to get you to say something they can use to reduce what they owe you. The self-doubt you're feeling right now is exactly the state they're hoping to catch you in. Record everything — every conversation, every date, every symptom — before you talk to anyone official.

  • 13
    kind-marmot-275

    I don't want to pile on but I do want to ask — did you get a copy of the police report yet? Do you know how the officer documented fault? That's the foundation everything else rests on and it'll probably also help with the self-doubt piece. If the report supports your account, that's meaningful. Have you seen it?

  • 9
    quiet-swan-317

    Three practical things: (1) Get the full police report if you haven't — it's your best friend right now. (2) Start a notes doc on your phone and log every symptom, every sleepless night, every time you flinch at an intersection, with dates. (3) Talk to at least one PI attorney before settling anything — most do free consults. You can decide later whether you want to move forward. Information costs you nothing.

  • 7
    careful-fox-490

    What you're describing — the intrusive replaying, the flinching, the irritability, the sleep problems — those are classic signs of acute stress response and possibly early PTSD. That is a real injury, just not one that shows up on an X-ray. Please tell your doctor all of this at your next visit, not just the neck and shoulder stuff. Mental health treatment after a crash is legitimate medical care and it matters for your recovery. Don't minimize it because you walked away.

    • 7
      careful-traveler181

      This is really helpful — thank you for posting it.

  • 7
    quiet-wren-110

    You made it out. I know that sounds hollow right now and I'm not trying to minimize any of it. But the person who wrote this post is someone who's processing, reaching out, staying in the fight. That matters. The feelings you're having are survivable even when they don't feel like it.

    • 1
      plainspoken-sidewalk599

      Thank you both, this gave me the push I needed to make the call.

    • 8
      steady-survivor730

      Thanks for sharing. Hope things are getting a little easier for you.