The Shoulder
The Shoulder
59
Car accidentsclever-beaver-874

T-boned two days ago — did everything right so far? First accident ever, feeling lost

Hey everyone. Still kind of in shock honestly. This past Thursday evening my husband and I were driving home from grabbing dinner when a guy blew out of a strip mall entrance without even slowing down and hit us hard on the driver's side. Cops showed up fast, took statements, and told us on the scene that the other driver was fully at fault. We were both pumped on adrenaline so we thought we were fine — then about four hours later we were absolutely not fine. Ended up in urgent care that same night. My husband's shoulder is really messed up and I've had this dull crushing headache ever since.

Here's what I've done so far:

  • Filed a claim with my own insurance and with the other driver's insurance
  • Got a copy of the incident number (report itself isn't ready yet, they said give it a week or two)
  • Kept all our urgent care paperwork
  • Scheduled a follow-up with our regular doctor for early next week
  • Reached out to a personal injury attorney just to understand our options

I'm 24, never been in an accident before, and I genuinely don't know what I should be doing on day 3 vs. week 2 vs. a month from now. Is there anything I'm forgetting or doing out of order? Should I be writing stuff down somewhere? Do I talk to the other driver's adjuster when they call or just let the attorney handle it?

Any advice from people who've been through this would mean a lot right now. Thanks in advance 🙏

9replies

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9 replies

  • 18
    keen-marten-253

    You're on the right track. A couple of procedural things that matter: keep EVERY receipt and document related to this — parking for appointments, any OTC meds you buy, even gas driving to and from the doctor. It all adds up for out-of-pocket documentation. Also, don't sign any kind of release or settlement offer from the other driver's insurer until you actually know the full extent of your husband's shoulder injury. Some of those things take weeks to fully reveal themselves, and once you sign you're done.

    • 20
      sharp-vole-171

      Please don't sleep on the headache. Post-collision headaches that persist past 24-48 hours can sometimes be a sign of something worth imaging — concussion, or occasionally something more. I'm not saying panic, but if it's getting worse or you're having vision changes or nausea, go back in and specifically ask about a concussion evaluation. Also make sure both of you keep every follow-up appointment because gaps in care can look bad to insurers even if you were just 'toughing it out.'

    • 16
      brave-newt-324

      I used to work on the insurance side and I'll tell you — the notes thing the other commenter mentioned is gold. Adjusters look for inconsistencies between what you say early on and what shows up in medical records later. If you tell the adjuster your neck feels 'a little stiff' on day 3 but your doctor documents significant restricted range of motion on day 10, that gap can get used against you. So when anyone asks how you're feeling, be honest and don't downplay it. Also, photograph your car from every angle before it gets repaired or moved to a lot where access gets difficult.

  • 13
    quick-mole-732

    Not legal advice, but from what you've described you're doing the sensible things. The most important one: since you've already made contact with an attorney, loop them in before you talk substantively with the other side's adjuster. The at-fault driver's insurer has one job and it's not to take care of you — it's to close your claim as cheaply as possible. Having counsel early protects you from accidentally saying something that hurts you. Good luck — not legal advice.

  • 7
    bold-stoat-171

    You're honestly doing better than I did after my first accident — I didn't even think to file with my own insurance for like a week. One thing I wish someone had told me: start a notes document on your phone TODAY and log every symptom, every appointment, every phone call with insurance. Even stuff like 'couldn't sleep because of the headache' matters more than you'd think later on.

    • 11
      wise-sparrow-270

      When the other driver's adjuster calls — and they WILL call, probably soon — be really careful. They're going to sound super friendly and reasonable. They might even ask if they can record the call. Do not agree to a recorded statement before you've talked to your attorney. Seriously. Anything you say can get used to minimize your claim later. You already have a lawyer in the loop, so just tell the adjuster 'my attorney will be in touch' and leave it at that.

  • 6
    daring-newt-370

    I just want to say — it sounds like you're handling this incredibly well for someone who's never dealt with it before and is probably still shaken up. Make sure you're also giving yourself space to just... feel awful about it if you need to. Accidents are traumatic even when nobody is fighting over fault. Hope your husband's shoulder heals up quickly 💙

    • 2
      tired-rider451

      Seconding this. The same approach worked for me last year.

  • 6
    silent-beaver-825

    Short answer: don't talk to the other driver's adjuster alone, don't accept any fast settlement offer, and don't cancel any medical appointments because you 'feel better' on a good day. Those three things derail more claims than anything else. You've got a lawyer involved already which is the biggest one. Just follow their lead from here.