The Shoulder
The Shoulder
57
Car accidentssilent-seal-609

T-boned with my toddler in the car — still shaking days later and don't know what to do next

I don't even know how to start this. Last week I was driving my 3-year-old to her grandma's house on a normal Tuesday afternoon when a driver coming out of a strip mall parking lot just... blew right through a stop sign at full speed and hit us on the passenger side. My daughter was on that side.

The impact spun us into a curb and I remember the airbags going off and then just this terrible silence before she started crying. I've never felt relief and terror at the same time like that. A guy from a nearby store ran over and stayed with us until the ambulance came, which I'm still grateful for.

At the ER they checked my daughter out and said she looked okay — some bruising from her car seat straps which honestly I'm taking as proof those straps saved her life. I had bad whiplash and they sent me home with a referral for follow-up imaging.

Here's the thing: I went back to my doctor two days later because I was in way more pain than I expected and they found a small fracture in one of my vertebrae that the ER apparently missed on the initial read. Nobody called me. I had to call them when I got the patient portal notification.

Now the other driver's insurance is already calling me wanting a recorded statement. My car is totaled. I'm barely sleeping. My daughter keeps asking why the car got "broken."

Has anyone been through something like this with a kid in the car? Do I need a lawyer? Do I talk to the insurance people? I feel completely lost.

14replies

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14 replies

  • 18
    humble-hare-970

    Oh my gosh, I went through something so similar about two years ago — different driver error, same gut-punch feeling of looking back at my kid in the car seat after impact. The most important thing I can tell you: do not give that recorded statement. I did, and I said something totally innocent like "I'm doing okay" and it was used later to argue my injuries weren't serious. Just tell them you're not ready to give a statement yet. That's allowed.

    • 18
      keen-sparrow-952

      Not legal advice, but as someone who works in this area — a missed fracture discovered days after the ER visit is actually really important to document carefully. Make sure the follow-up records clearly tie the injury to the accident. And yes, you are under zero obligation to give a recorded statement to the other driver's insurer. Most PI attorneys offer free consults; at minimum go get one before you say anything on record.

    • 7
      level-co-pilot546

      Adding this: keep copies of every email. It mattered for me.

  • 13
    swift-finch-496

    The fact that they're calling you THIS fast is a red flag. Insurers move quick when they know their driver is clearly at fault — they want to lock you into a version of events and a sense of your injuries before you actually know how bad things are. A fractured vertebra is serious. You don't even know yet what your full recovery looks like. Don't talk to them without at least consulting a PI attorney first.

  • 11
    genuine-kestrel-200

    The missed fracture thing happens more than people realize, especially in high-adrenaline situations where the ER is triaging fast. Please make sure you have a specialist (orthopedic or spine, depending on what kind of fracture) actually reviewing those images, not just a general radiologist read. Vertebral fractures can range a lot in severity and you want someone tracking this properly. Also keep a daily pain journal — it matters later, both medically and legally.

    • 2
      restless-overpass776

      Saving this whole thread. Really appreciate the honesty here.

  • 13
    mellow-beaver-675

    Former insurance adjuster here. The recorded statement request this early? That's standard playbook when liability is obvious — they want your words, not your lawyer's. What you say can and will be used to minimize your payout. Things like describing the pain as "manageable" or saying you "feel okay" get highlighted in the file. My honest advice: decline politely, say you'll be in touch once you've had time to assess everything, and talk to an attorney.

  • 6
    kind-lynx-178

    I just want to say — you went through something genuinely traumatic and you're still in the thick of it. Be kind to yourself. The fact that you're asking questions and trying to figure out your next steps while clearly still in shock says a lot. Your daughter is lucky to have a parent who kept it together enough to get her through that.

    • 7
      restless-late-shift618

      Following up on this — any update on how it turned out?

  • 10
    hearty-marmot-156

    Three things, in order: (1) Don't give the recorded statement. (2) Get a PI lawyer consult — most are free and you pay nothing unless they win. (3) Keep every single receipt, every doctor's note, every missed work day logged somewhere. The documentation is everything. You can figure out the emotional stuff later; right now protect your case while your memory is fresh.

    • 4
      restless-co-pilot668

      Thank you both, this gave me the push I needed to make the call.

  • 9
    bold-elk-252

    Just so you know procedurally — the other driver's insurer has no legal right to a recorded statement from you. Your own insurer might have that right depending on your policy, but even then you can ask to have it in writing instead of recorded. Also, if your daughter has any injuries (even the bruising from the harness), her claim is separate from yours and handled differently because she's a minor. A lot of parents don't realize that.

  • 12
    curious-newt-051

    Was the other driver cited at the scene? Do you have a copy of the police report yet? That's going to matter a lot for how straightforward this is. A clear citation helps, but even without one, a witness and the stop sign violation should be traceable. Just want to make sure you're not assuming liability is settled when it technically hasn't been formally established yet.

    • 3
      gentle-dreamer712

      Appreciate the detailed write-up. Saving this for later.