The Shoulder
The Shoulder
73
Car accidentskeen-marten-034

T-boned with my daughter in the car — other driver ran a red light. Will we be okay?

Still shaking as I type this, honestly. Three days ago I was driving through an intersection on a green light and a pickup blew straight through the red and absolutely destroyed the passenger side of my SUV. My 8-year-old daughter was in the back seat on that side. I can barely even finish that sentence without my heart jumping into my throat.

Miraculously, she walked away with bruising from the seatbelt. I have a pretty gnarly headache that won't quit and my neck is stiff as a board. We both got checked out at the ER the same night.

The other driver got cited on the spot — witnesses stopped and gave statements, there's a traffic cam at that intersection, and the officer's report already places full fault on him. I've already reached out to an attorney and have a consultation tomorrow.

Here's where my head is at: my SUV is only about four months old. I put a significant down payment on it and I'm terrified the insurance company is going to lowball me on the value and leave me stuck with some comparable-on-paper-but-not-really replacement. I saved a long time for that vehicle.

Also — my daughter keeps saying her shoulder hurts when she lifts her arm. I'm taking her back to the pediatrician tomorrow but it's terrifying not knowing if something got missed.

Has anyone been through something similar and come out the other side okay — both physically and financially? I just need to hear that this process doesn't have to crush us on top of everything else.

14replies

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14 replies

  • 20
    careful-tern-418

    Two things: stop talking to any insurance adjuster — theirs or yours — until after you've met with your attorney tomorrow. Even casual, well-meaning comments can complicate things. And photograph everything about that car before it gets moved or repaired. Every angle, every detail inside and out. Do it today if you haven't already.

    • 7
      patient-rider606

      Curious whether you did this on your own or had help with it.

    • 0
      weathered-sidewalk986

      Following up on this — any update on how it turned out?

  • 18
    bold-vole-971

    Oh my gosh, I felt this post in my chest. My son was in the car when someone rear-ended us on the highway last year. The fear you feel when your kid is involved is a whole different level. I want you to know — it does get better. The legal and insurance stuff is stressful, but once you have a good attorney in your corner you can actually breathe a little. Hang in there.

    • 21
      quick-wren-820

      Please don't ignore your daughter's shoulder pain, even if the ER cleared her initially. Kids sometimes don't fully register or communicate pain right away, and soft tissue injuries or even minor growth plate issues can show up more clearly a day or two later. Really glad you're taking her back to the pediatrician — push for imaging if there's any doubt. And keep a written log of every symptom she mentions, even the small stuff. That documentation matters.

  • 14
    clear-newt-462

    Watch out — the at-fault driver's insurance is going to try to move fast on your vehicle claim. They love to rush you into a settlement before you've had time to fully assess everything. Don't accept ANY number on the car before you've independently researched what comparable vehicles are actually selling for in your area right now. They will lowball you if you let them.

    • 15
      bright-grouse-867

      I used to work for a major carrier, so I'll be straight with you. On a newer vehicle, the adjuster is going to pull comps — but those comps can be cherry-picked from markets where prices are lower. If your car gets totaled, you have every right to dispute their valuation and submit your own comp vehicles. Do that research yourself on dealer lots, not just listings sites. Also: if it's repairable, you're entitled to diminished value in most states — meaning the car is worth less now that it's been in an accident, and you can claim that difference. A lot of people never know to ask.

  • 12
    humble-swift-692

    Since you already have an attorney consultation lined up, that's the right move. Just make sure you bring everything tomorrow — the police report number if you have it, all your ER paperwork, photos of the scene and the vehicle damage, and any correspondence you've already had from any insurance company. The more organized you walk in, the more productive that first meeting will be. And don't sign or agree to anything with any insurer before that meeting.

    • 17
      wise-elk-735

      I just want to say — you sound like an incredibly composed person given what you went through three days ago. Please also make sure YOU are okay emotionally. It's really common to feel fine in the immediate chaos and then have it hit you hard a week later. Be gentle with yourself.

    • 2
      hopeful-traveler425

      Seconding this. The same approach worked for me last year.

  • 12
    brave-grouse-733

    I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you actually have a lot going for you here: clear fault, documentation, witnesses, a police report, and you already have legal help lined up. That's genuinely a stronger position than a lot of people find themselves in. You're not starting from zero — you're starting from a pretty solid foundation.

    • 7
      patient-wanderer544

      Same boat here. Did anyone mention a deadline to watch out for?

  • 5
    mellow-sparrow-850

    Not legal advice, but generally speaking: a clear liability situation like you're describing — cited driver, witnesses, traffic camera — is about as solid a foundation as these cases get. The camera footage is particularly valuable; make sure your attorney knows about it and moves quickly to preserve it if they haven't already. Those systems sometimes overwrite footage on short cycles.

    • 6
      level-backseat149

      Took me three tries but they finally budged. Don't give up.