The Shoulder
The Shoulder
59
Car accidentsbold-finch-396

Survived a really bad crash but now I freeze up just looking at my car — anyone else?

I don't really know how to start this so I'll just say it: I was in a pretty serious accident about two months ago. T-bone collision at an intersection — other driver ran a red light at full speed. I ended up with several broken ribs, a punctured lung, and a concussion that still has me dealing with headaches and brain fog almost every day.

Everyone keeps telling me how grateful I should be, and honestly? I am. I know it could have been so much worse. But that almost makes it harder to talk about, because I feel like I'm not allowed to be struggling when I "made it out okay."

Here's the thing though — I have to get back behind the wheel within the next month or so. My job is about 25 minutes away and there's no real public transit option where I live. My family has been driving me everywhere but that can't go on forever.

I've been in the car as a passenger three times since it happened and each time I white-knuckle the door handle the entire ride. My heart races whenever someone pulls up to an intersection next to us. I actually had to ask my sister to pull over once because I couldn't breathe.

The thought of driving — especially anywhere near that intersection — genuinely makes me feel sick.

I know there's probably therapy for this kind of thing but I'm already drowning in medical bills and I'm not sure what's covered. Has anyone worked through driving anxiety after a bad crash? Did anything actually help? I feel like I'm stuck and the clock is ticking.

10replies

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10 replies

  • 21
    humble-tern-859

    Oh man, I felt every word of this. After my accident I couldn't even sit in the passenger seat without gripping whatever I could grab. What helped me was starting really small — like, literally just sitting in a parked car in my driveway with the engine off for a few minutes each day until that stopped feeling threatening. Then engine on but not moving. Then pulling out and back in. It took weeks before I drove more than a few blocks but it genuinely worked. You're not broken, your brain is just trying to protect you. Give it some grace.

  • 18
    bright-mole-220

    What you're describing — the racing heart, trouble breathing, the freeze response — that's a really textbook trauma reaction and it makes complete sense given what your body went through. It's not weakness, it's your nervous system doing exactly what it's designed to do after a life-threatening event.

    One thing I'd gently push on: the concussion and brain fog you mentioned can actually make anxiety worse because your brain is literally still healing. Please don't rush yourself just because other people think enough time has passed. And do ask your doctor specifically about whether any of your symptoms qualify you for mental health coverage under your injury claim — sometimes that gets overlooked.

  • 12
    calm-marmot-284

    Just want to flag — if you have an open claim right now, be careful about how you document your mental health struggles. I'm not saying hide anything, but adjusters sometimes use stuff like therapy records to lowball emotional distress damages. Make sure someone is looking out for your interests before you sign anything.

    • 1
      grounded-sidewalk698

      Following up on this — any update on how it turned out?

  • 12
    careful-grouse-233

    Not legal advice, but PTSD and anxiety following a serious accident are absolutely compensable damages in most states — they're not just "soft" add-ons. If you haven't spoken to a personal injury attorney yet, it might be worth a free consultation just to understand what your full claim could include. Therapy costs, lost wages from missed work, all of it. You shouldn't have to eat those costs because someone ran a red light.

  • 15
    sharp-elk-016

    I just want to say — please don't let anyone rush you. "I made it out okay" doesn't mean you owe anyone a speedy recovery, physically OR mentally. You went through something terrifying and two months is genuinely not that long. Sending you so much support. 💙

  • 9
    humble-wren-989

    On the practical side: if you're still in an active insurance claim or lawsuit, keep a simple daily journal — just a few sentences about how you're feeling, what symptoms you noticed, any time the anxiety affected your daily life or work. It doesn't have to be formal. That kind of record can matter a lot later when it comes to documenting the full impact of the crash on your life.

  • 12
    plain-newt-600

    Look into EMDR therapy specifically. It's designed for exactly this — trauma and phobia responses — and it tends to work faster than traditional talk therapy. Some people see real results in just a handful of sessions. Check if your health insurance covers it and, separately, ask whoever is handling your injury claim whether therapy costs can be included. Don't just suffer through this quietly.

  • 19
    mellow-sparrow-878

    The fact that you're already thinking about how to work through this rather than just avoid driving forever says a lot about you. The anxiety is real but so is your determination. A lot of people do get back to driving and eventually stop dreading it — not all at once, but gradually. You'll get there.

    • 1
      quiet-commuter388

      Wish I had seen this a month ago — would have saved me a lot of stress.