The Shoulder
The Shoulder
56
sharp-seal-954

My sister hit me with her car. Do I still have a case even if I don't want to ruin her?

This is genuinely one of the hardest things I've ever had to write out, so bear with me.

Three months ago my older sister picked me up from a late shift at the restaurant where I work. We were heading back to my place, she was driving my own car actually — I was exhausted and she offered. It was raining pretty hard. She went to brake at a yellow light and the car just... didn't stop the way it should have. We slid through the intersection and got T-boned by a pickup truck coming through on green.

I woke up in the hospital with a fractured collarbone, a bad concussion, and a torn ligament in my knee that's going to need surgery. My sister walked away with bruises and a badly sprained wrist. She has been absolutely destroyed by guilt ever since — calls me crying almost every day.

Here's the thing though: turns out my car had a brake issue that I genuinely did not know about. I hadn't had it in for service in a while, I'll admit that. She didn't know either. Nobody planned for any of this.

My medical bills are already significant and I can't work my serving job right now because I'm on crutches. I need some kind of financial help. But pursuing anything feels like I'm pointing a finger at my sister even though I know it wasn't really her fault.

Can you even make a claim in a situation like this without it destroying your relationship? Is the other driver involved at all? What about the car itself — could there be liability somewhere other than my sister? I'm so lost and honestly pretty scared.

Has anyone been through something like this with a family member?

11replies

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11 replies

  • 21
    silent-grouse-900

    One thing people don't always think about: if your car was involved and the brake failure contributed to the accident, there may be a products liability angle OR a negligent maintenance angle — separate from anything involving your sister as a driver. That could actually take a lot of the personal sting out of it because the target isn't her. It's worth getting someone to look at the vehicle inspection report if there is one, and any past service records.

  • 17
    silent-swan-351

    Former claims adjuster here. Just so you know — when there's a brake failure involved, insurers will look hard at maintenance history. If there are gaps, they may try to use that against you (since it was technically your car). I'm not saying that to scare you, just to say: get ahead of it. Know what your service records show before anyone else does. And yes, the other driver's insurance is absolutely in play here too — their carrier will have a stake in this whether you like it or not.

  • 13
    candid-wren-835

    Oh wow, this hit close to home. My brother was driving when we got into a bad accident a few years back — different circumstances but that same awful guilt dynamic. What helped me reframe it was understanding that a claim goes through insurance, not through your sister personally. Like, that's literally what car insurance exists for. It doesn't have to feel like you're suing her. Once I separated those two things in my head it got a lot easier.

    • 3
      mellow-co-pilot225

      Saving this whole thread. Really appreciate the honesty here.

  • 13
    clear-hare-868

    Not legal advice, but a few things worth knowing: depending on your state, there may be multiple parties with potential liability here — the other driver who hit you, possibly a mechanic if the brakes were recently serviced, or even a parts manufacturer in certain situations. It's not always a straight line to one person. A PI attorney can help you map that out. Most offer free consultations and take cases on contingency so there's no upfront cost to just asking questions.

    • 22
      warm-kestrel-313

      Please be careful about talking to any insurance adjuster before you know where you stand. They will absolutely use the 'family dynamic' angle to minimize your claim — things like 'well you were in the car voluntarily' or implying some shared fault. Don't give a recorded statement to anyone without understanding your rights first. I've seen people get lowballed into oblivion because they felt bad and just accepted whatever was offered.

  • 11
    quiet-grouse-160

    I just want to say — you are not a bad person for needing help after this. You're injured, you can't work, and you're facing surgery. That's serious. Your sister loves you and I genuinely think if the roles were reversed, she'd want you to take care of yourself. Don't let the guilt you feel about her guilt stop you from getting what you need to heal. ❤️

  • 7
    hearty-mole-648

    The knee surgery piece is what jumps out at me. Ligament repairs have long recovery timelines — we're talking months of PT after the procedure, and sometimes more than one surgery depending on how it heals. Please make sure every single medical visit, every PT appointment, every prescription is documented and kept. The financial impact of that injury alone is going to be much bigger than it looks right now, especially with lost wages on top of it. Don't settle anything before you really understand the full picture of your recovery.

  • 7
    tidy-sparrow-603

    Here's the blunt version: you need surgery, you can't work, and bills are piling up. The emotional stuff with your sister is real but it can't pay your rent. Talk to a personal injury attorney this week — not to make a decision, just to understand your options. You can always choose not to proceed. But you can't un-miss a deadline if the statute of limitations runs out while you're sitting on it.

    • 5
      gentle-optimist427

      This is really helpful — thank you for posting it.

    • 0
      thankful-backseat392

      Following up on this — any update on how it turned out?