The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Legal questionscandid-newt-187

My settlement is almost ready but I've never once talked to my own lawyer — is that normal??

So I was rear-ended pretty badly about eight months ago by someone who ran a red light. Wasn't my fault at all — there were witnesses and everything. I got a cervical strain and had to do a bunch of physical therapy, missed almost three weeks of work. We hired a lawyer not long after and the case has apparently been moving along.

Here's the thing though: I have literally never spoken directly to the lawyer myself. My older brother has been the one handling all the calls and relaying everything back to me. He's not on any paperwork as far as I know, he just kind of... took over. I was pretty shaken up after the crash and let him step in, and now it's just become the norm.

The lawyer apparently told my brother the other week that we're close to a resolution and that funds should be coming through within the next couple months. My brother keeps saying "we" when he talks about it, which is starting to make me uneasy.

I'm the one who was injured. I'm the one who went to all the appointments. The car was actually titled in my brother's name (long story — he helped me buy it), so I know the property payout already went to him, which is fine.

But the injury settlement — that's for my body and my lost wages. Can my brother actually intercept that money somehow? Or does it legally have to come to me since I'm the injured party? I'm an adult, mid-20s, fully capable.

I don't want to blow up my relationship with him over this but something feels off lately. Has anyone dealt with anything like this?

13replies

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13 replies

  • 22
    tidy-swift-766

    The settlement check process typically involves the funds going into the attorney's trust account first, then disbursements going out after fees and any liens. At that stage, you'd normally sign a settlement statement confirming you agree to the breakdown. If you've never signed a retainer or any paperwork directly, that's actually a red flag worth sorting out now, before the money is ready to move. Call the firm directly and ask to speak with someone about your file.

    • 5
      quiet-wolf-412

      I went through something similar where a family member was 'helping' me manage my case after my accident and it got weird fast. Once I called the attorney's office myself and introduced myself as the actual client, everything changed. They were kind of surprised I hadn't been in direct contact. Definitely make that call.

  • 19
    calm-crow-016

    I'd also just say — any time there's a layer of people between you and your own legal representation, that's a vulnerability. It's not just about your brother, it's about whether decisions have been made on your behalf that you didn't actually agree to. You need to see the paperwork yourself.

    • 7
      hopeful-neighbor705

      This is really helpful — thank you for posting it.

  • 16
    quiet-otter-978

    From what I've seen on the insurance side, the settlement release forms are typically signed by the claimant — that's you. If you're an adult and the injured party, your signature is what matters on the final documents. But I'd still verify everything directly with the attorney rather than relying on secondhand info from anyone, even a well-meaning family member.

    • 6
      honest-dreamer764

      Did you have to escalate, or did they come around after the first ask?

  • 15
    brave-seal-345

    Not legal advice, but I can tell you that in general, a personal injury settlement for an adult's injuries belongs to that adult — not a family member. The attorney has an ethical duty to communicate directly with their actual client, which is you. You have every right to call that law office yourself, confirm you're the client of record, and ask that all future communication come directly to you. Don't wait on this one.

    • 7
      steady-survivor228

      Appreciate the detailed write-up. Saving this for later.

  • 9
    tidy-bison-471

    Did you actually sign the original retainer agreement with the lawyer, or did your brother sign it? That might matter. Also — does your brother know you're feeling this way? I'm not saying his intentions are bad, but there's a difference between 'took over to help' and something more concerning. Worth clarifying before assuming the worst.

    • 6
      quiet-neighbor672

      Solid advice. Getting it in writing is the part most people skip.

  • 8
    daring-lynx-002

    Call the lawyer's office today. Not tomorrow. Today. Say 'I'm the injured party on this case and I need to speak directly with my attorney.' That's it. You don't need to explain the family situation or make it dramatic. Just establish direct contact and get eyes on your own file.

  • 6
    clear-lynx-258

    This would be keeping me up at night honestly. I really hope your brother's intentions are good, but you deserve to know exactly what's happening with your own settlement. Please reach out to the lawyer directly — even just to get peace of mind.

    • 5
      quiet-wanderer113

      Same boat here. Did anyone mention a deadline to watch out for?