The Shoulder
The Shoulder
69
Car accidentsswift-sparrow-114

It's been 2 years since the crash that took my job and I still think about it every day

Not sure why I'm posting this today. Maybe because it's been almost exactly two years since it happened and I've been in my feelings about it all week.

I used to do courier work — driving routes all day, delivering packages for a small local logistics company. Loved the independence of it, honestly. The afternoon it happened I was maybe an hour from the end of my shift. Coming through a four-way intersection on a road I'd driven probably a thousand times. I had the right of way. The SUV that hit me did not stop.

The impact spun me completely around. I remember the airbag, the smell, the weird silence right after. I thought I was fine. I got out of my vehicle, called my dispatcher, and just... stood there on the shoulder watching smoke come out from under my hood like it was happening to someone else. Adrenaline is wild.

Turns out I had two cracked ribs and a pretty serious shoulder injury I didn't even register until the next morning when I literally couldn't lift my arm. The car was totaled. And because I couldn't do physical work during recovery, I lost the job — no paid leave, nothing.

I eventually got a settlement but the whole process took forever and by the end I was just exhausted and wanted it to be over. I'm doing okay now. New job, still in some pain on cold days. But I miss who I was before it, if that makes sense. The version of me who just drove around listening to podcasts and didn't know any of this was coming.

Anyone else still processing something from years ago? Does it ever fully go away?

14replies

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14 replies

  • 22
    brave-dove-696

    "I was just exhausted and wanted it to be over" — that is exactly what adjusters are counting on. I don't say that to make you feel bad, because honestly most people end up there and it's completely understandable. But the fatigue of the process is a feature, not a bug. They drag it out until you'll take less just to close the chapter. Hope you at least had someone in your corner during negotiations.

  • 18
    steady-bison-329

    I'm curious — when you say the settlement process took forever, are you talking like 8 months or more like 18+? And did you have a lawyer or were you dealing with the other driver's insurance directly? Asking because the experience is wildly different depending on those two things, and it changes how I'd think about what you described.

  • 17
    gentle-kestrel-856

    It genuinely doesn't fully go away, at least not for me. Mine was three years ago and I still get a weird jolt every time someone runs a yellow light near me. What I'll say is it does get quieter over time — like the volume on it turns down even if it never hits zero. The anniversary weeks are the hardest, and then somehow you make it through and feel a little lighter after. You're not alone in this.

    • 14
      swift-swift-972

      Two years out and you're still here, still reflecting, still growing — that's not nothing. I know that might sound like a greeting card but I mean it practically. A lot of people white-knuckle through trauma like this and never actually stop to process it. The fact that you're asking "does it ever go away" tells me you're actually doing the work of getting through it, not just around it.

    • 6
      honest-driver969

      Appreciate the detailed write-up. Saving this for later.

    • 3
      thankful-overpass436

      Took me three tries but they finally budged. Don't give up.

  • 15
    gentle-marten-085

    The part where you said you miss the version of yourself from before — that hit me. I haven't been in an accident like yours but I think grief for a former version of yourself is one of the least-talked-about parts of any major life disruption. You're allowed to mourn that. It doesn't mean you're not healing, it just means it mattered.

    • 4
      steady-driver262

      Same boat here. Did anyone mention a deadline to watch out for?

  • 15
    steady-stoat-948

    Not legal advice, but I want to gently flag the ongoing physical symptoms you mentioned. Depending on your state, there are sometimes post-settlement options if a condition worsens in ways that weren't anticipated — though that window is usually narrow and very fact-specific. If the cold-weather pain is getting worse rather than staying the same, a quick conversation with a PI attorney (most do free consults) could at least tell you where you stand. You might have no options, or you might have one. Worth knowing. Either way, what you went through was real and the toll it took on your work life absolutely should have been part of your claim.

  • 14
    clever-swan-068

    The thing you said about not feeling your injuries until the next day is so real and so common, and I wish more people understood it. Adrenaline is basically your body's emergency painkiller — it can mask broken bones, torn tissue, all of it. That's actually one reason it's so important to get a full evaluation at the ER even when you feel fine right after a crash. And shoulder injuries especially tend to sneak up on you. If you're still getting pain on cold days two years out, it might be worth asking a doctor whether there's any lingering structural issue that wasn't fully addressed. Sometimes things get undertreated in the chaos of the settlement rush.

    • 22
      sharp-vole-702

      Spent years on the inside and I can confirm what the person above said. There's even informal language for it — some people call it "wearing down the claimant." Files that drag past the one-year mark settle for less on average, and that's not an accident. The other thing I'd add: lost income from gig or contract work is genuinely hard to document and easy to lowball. If your job loss wasn't captured properly in your claim, there may have been money left on the table. Not trying to reopen old wounds — just being honest about how it works.

    • 6
      calm-rider373

      Curious whether you did this on your own or had help with it.

  • 14
    sharp-otter-936

    Two things: See a doctor about that shoulder, cold-weather pain two years later is your body telling you something. And find someone to talk to — a therapist, not just a forum. What you're describing around the anniversary, missing your old self, reliving it — that has a name and there's actual help for it. You're not broken, you just went through something that broke your routine and your sense of safety. That takes real work to rebuild.

    • 2
      honest-neighbor624

      Seconding this. The same approach worked for me last year.