The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Car accidentssteady-seal-320

Rear-ended with my infant in the car — weird movements after the crash, freaking out

I'm still kind of shaking writing this. Yesterday afternoon I was on my way home from a grocery run with my 9-month-old daughter in her rear-facing seat and my 4-year-old next to her. We were stopped at a red light when someone hit us pretty hard from behind. The force pushed us forward into the intersection — it was terrifying.

We went straight to the ER. My older kid seemed totally fine, just scared. My daughter was checked over and the staff said she looked okay, but while I was getting her undressed for the exam I noticed she was doing these little twitchy arm movements — almost like startling but repeated. I pointed it out to the nurse and she flagged the doctor. They didn't seem alarmed and discharged us.

Now that I'm home and the adrenaline has worn off, I can't stop replaying it. She's nursing normally and her color looks good, but she did that same arm thing again this morning during a diaper change.

I know I'm probably spiraling but — has anyone dealt with something like this with a baby after a crash? Is this normal stress response stuff? Should I push for more imaging? I feel like the ER was moving fast and maybe didn't watch her long enough.

Also, the other driver's insurance has already called me once this morning. I haven't called back yet. Not sure what I'm supposed to do on that front either.

Any moms, dads, nurses, anyone — please share what you know. 🙏

10replies

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10 replies

  • 10
    bold-seal-840

    First — I'm so glad you're both physically okay. The twitchy startle-like movements in infants can sometimes just be their immature nervous system responding to stress and overstimulation, which makes sense after something that traumatic. BUT repeated episodes that you're noticing consistently are worth taking seriously. I'd call her pediatrician first thing today, not the ER — her own doctor can do a focused follow-up and decide if neurology needs to weigh in. Don't let anyone brush you off. You know your baby's baseline better than a busy ER doc who saw her for 20 minutes.

  • 13
    plain-swan-367

    We were hit with our 6-month-old in the car two years ago and I felt exactly this panic. The thing nobody told me was that babies can't tell you where they hurt, so you have to be really persistent with doctors. I ended up bringing him back to his pediatrician two days after the ER visit just to have fresh eyes on him. Turned out he was fine, but I needed that second check to breathe again. Go get that follow-up — don't talk yourself out of it.

    • 7
      restless-mile-marker595

      Adding this: keep copies of every email. It mattered for me.

  • 8
    spry-raven-751

    Please don't call that insurance adjuster back yet, or at least don't give any recorded statement. They are calling fast on purpose. The moment you say something like 'we're doing okay' they will try to use that. Your baby's symptoms are still developing and you have no idea yet what the full picture looks like medically. You can't un-say things to an adjuster.

  • 7
    swift-swift-245

    I used to work claims. The quick call the morning after an accident is a standard move — it's not malicious exactly, but the goal is absolutely to get information while you're still in shock and before you've talked to anyone. You are under zero obligation to speak with them right now. A simple 'I'm still seeking medical attention and will be in touch' is all you need to say if you do pick up. Document everything in the meantime — photos, medical paperwork, all of it.

    • 2
      hopeful-traveler775

      Same boat here. Did anyone mention a deadline to watch out for?

  • 16
    warm-bison-077

    A few practical things worth knowing: keep a journal starting today. Write down every symptom you notice in your daughter, every appointment, every phone call from the insurance company. Timestamps matter. Also photograph the car before anything gets repaired. With an infant involved in a crash, the claim gets more complex and having a clear paper trail from day one genuinely helps. Oh, and most PI attorneys offer free consultations — talking to one doesn't mean you're suing anyone, it just means you understand your options.

    • 5
      kind-raven-717

      Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Please trust your gut on this — you're her mom and you know when something feels off. Push for whatever follow-up care makes you feel confident she's been properly evaluated. No doctor should make you feel like you're overreacting when your baby was just in a crash.

  • 20
    gentle-bison-226

    Two action items: (1) Get your daughter to her pediatrician today, describe exactly what you described here. Ask specifically about whether she needs any imaging or a neurology referral. (2) Don't talk to the other driver's insurance until you've at least had a free call with a personal injury attorney. Those are the only two things you need to focus on right now. Everything else can wait.

    • 7
      careful-dreamer507

      This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you.