The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Insurancesharp-dove-090

The person who hit me works at his own insurance company — is this even legal??

So this is a weird one and I honestly feel like I'm going crazy a little bit.

I was t-boned at an intersection about three weeks ago. The guy who hit me was with his wife, and she kept casually dropping that she works as a claims handler at an insurance company. Fine, whatever, I didn't think much of it at the time.

Fast forward to when I call the at-fault driver's insurer to open a claim — and I swear on everything, the woman who picks up sounds exactly like his wife. Same voice, same cadence, everything. I almost said her name out loud before I caught myself.

Since then the "adjuster" handling my claim has been throwing up every roadblock imaginable. She's suggesting my front quarter panel damage existed before the accident (it did not — I literally had that area repainted four months ago and have receipts). She's also been implying I may have rolled into the intersection, meaning I could be partially at fault. That came completely out of nowhere.

I reached back out to my own insurer to ask if they can step in and deal with these people directly, and they were kind of wishy-washy about it. Said they'd "look into it" but haven't really committed to anything.

Has anyone dealt with something like this? Where the person who hit you basically has a family member working the claim against you? I don't even know what to report this to or who oversees this kind of conflict of interest. I have photos, the repair receipts, and a witness who was in the car with me.

Feel like I need to escalate this somewhere but I don't know where to start.

9replies

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9 replies

  • 16
    patient-otter-186

    Oh this is a textbook conflict of interest and adjusters pull this kind of thing more than people realize. She has every incentive to lowball you, delay you, and make you doubt yourself until you either go away or accept pennies. Do NOT give her any more recorded statements. Anything you say will be twisted. Your gut is right — escalate immediately.

  • 16
    candid-bison-475

    A few things worth doing right now: First, start documenting every single interaction with this adjuster — dates, times, what was said. If calls aren't being recorded, follow up every phone conversation with a short email summarizing what was discussed. That creates a written record she can't walk back later. Second, those repair receipts you mentioned? Gold. Keep them somewhere safe and make copies. Third, look up your state's Department of Insurance — most have an online complaint portal and they do investigate conflicts of interest like this.

  • 16
    sharp-dove-038

    Not legal advice, but a situation where the opposing party's family member is adjusting the claim against you is exactly the kind of thing a PI attorney consults on for free. The conflict of interest angle, combined with what sounds like bad-faith claims handling, is worth at least one conversation with someone who knows your state's insurance regulations. Most initial consults cost nothing.

  • 13
    humble-lynx-103

    Stop calling her. Seriously. Every conversation you have with that woman is a liability for you. Put everything in writing from this point forward — email only if possible. And push your own insurer harder. They work for you. If they're being wishy-washy, ask them directly: 'Will you be handling communication with the other insurer on my behalf?' Make them give you a real answer.

  • 10
    gentle-crow-091

    I worked in claims for years and what you're describing — if accurate — is a serious ethics violation. Every state has an insurance commissioner's office and they have a formal complaint process. Filing a complaint costs you nothing and it creates an official paper trail. It also tends to make insurers suddenly very cooperative when they realize someone is paying attention. I'd do that today, honestly. Don't wait for the adjuster to magically become fair.

    • 7
      weary-dreamer810

      That lines up with what my adjuster told me too.

  • 8
    tidy-heron-517

    The gaslighting about pre-existing damage is so real and so infuriating. They did the same thing to me — tried to say a dent I definitely didn't have before was somehow already there. I ended up getting an independent repair estimate from a shop I trusted and that estimate basically blew their argument out of the water. If you have those receipts from the repaint, lean on them hard.

  • 7
    swift-stoat-937

    Also — and I say this gently — please make sure you're actually getting checked out medically if you haven't already. T-bone impacts can do things to your neck and shoulders that don't show up as pain until days or even weeks later. Don't let the drama with the insurance stuff distract you from your own health. Get it documented with a doctor regardless of how you feel right now.

    • 9
      steady-swift-321

      This honestly sounds so stressful, I'm sorry you're dealing with it. The fact that you have photos AND receipts from the repaint AND a witness puts you in a way better position than most people. Try not to let her wear you down — that's literally the strategy, to make you so exhausted you just accept whatever they offer.