The Shoulder
The Shoulder
59
humble-beaver-036

My parents got hit TWICE in two weeks — both not their fault. I'm losing my mind trying to help

I don't even know where to start. I'm the oldest kid in my family and I've basically become the unofficial 'handle everything' person because my parents' English isn't strong and they get overwhelmed with paperwork and phone calls.

So here's what happened: my dad got rear-ended at a red light about ten days ago. Real impact — his neck has been bothering him ever since. We actually did the right thing on that one, got a police report, exchanged info, the whole thing. That claim is at least moving somewhere.

Then last Thursday, my mom is coming home from dropping my little brothers at school and someone runs a stop sign and clips the front corner of her car. The other driver was apologetic at the scene, they swapped info, but my mom didn't call the police because the other person kept saying 'let's just handle it between us' and she felt pressured. Now that driver isn't returning calls and their insurance is playing dumb.

My dad drives for a rideshare app most of the day to support us. My mom is basically the family logistics coordinator. Neither of them can afford to be dealing with injuries AND chasing down insurance companies AND still keep everything running at home.

I'm trying to figure out:

  • Is it too late to file a police report on my mom's accident?
  • Should they have separate lawyers for each accident, or can one attorney handle both?
  • The at-fault driver from mom's accident going quiet scares me — what do we do if they never respond?

Any advice from people who've been through something like this would really help. I feel so helpless watching my parents stressed out when none of this was their fault.

11replies

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11 replies

  • 5
    bold-wolf-391

    Oh man, this hit close to home. I went through something similar where the other driver was super friendly at the scene and then basically disappeared. What ended up helping us was going through our OWN insurance's uninsured/underinsured coverage when the other person went ghost. Definitely look into whether your mom has that on her policy — it saved us from getting nothing.

  • 12
    plain-finch-029

    On the police report question — in a lot of states you can still file what's called a 'driver's report' or self-report directly with the DMV even days or weeks after the accident, especially when officers didn't respond to the scene. It won't be the same as a responding officer's report but it creates an official record which matters. I'd look up your state's DMV site tonight and search for their accident self-report form. Takes like 20 minutes and could really help your mom's claim.

    Also — one attorney CAN often handle multiple accidents for the same family, especially if the incidents are close together. Worth asking when you call around.

    • 6
      grounded-co-pilot863

      Thank you both, this gave me the push I needed to make the call.

  • 6
    gentle-dove-459

    The silent at-fault driver thing is a red flag. What sometimes happens is they tip off their own insurance, the insurer gets a head start building a defense, and by the time your mom tries to file a claim she's playing catch-up. Don't wait on this one. File with your own insurance NOW and let them chase the other side. That's what you're paying premiums for.

    • 11
      brave-otter-653

      I used to work claims and I'll tell you — when an at-fault party goes quiet, nine times out of ten they've already called their insurer and given their version of events. Your mom needs to get her story documented ASAP. Write it all down today — time, location, what direction everyone was traveling, exactly what the other driver said at the scene. Even screenshots of any texts between them could matter. Adjusters look for inconsistencies and the earlier your mom's account is documented somewhere, the harder it is for the other side to rewrite the narrative.

  • 10
    candid-tern-202

    Not legal advice, but: two separate accidents with potentially two separate liable parties is actually a manageable situation for most PI attorneys. Many offer free consultations and take cases on contingency so your parents wouldn't pay anything upfront. The rideshare angle on your dad's accident might also have some nuance depending on whether he was active on the app at the time — worth mentioning when you consult with someone. Just don't wait too long, statutes of limitations are real deadlines.

  • 12
    patient-vole-280

    Please make sure both of your parents actually see a doctor, even if they're tough and saying they're 'fine.' Neck and back stuff from rear-end collisions in particular can feel manageable for a few days and then get significantly worse. Also, if they don't go get evaluated, insurance companies WILL use the gap in treatment against them later. It's not just about health — getting checked out early protects the claim too.

    • 0
      grounded-overpass429

      Saving this whole thread. Really appreciate the honesty here.

  • 9
    spry-elk-113

    You sound like such a caring kid. Your parents are lucky to have you stepping up like this. Take a breath — you're already doing the right thing by asking questions and looking for help. One step at a time.

    • 3
      calm-passenger404

      Solid advice. Getting it in writing is the part most people skip.

  • 16
    hearty-sparrow-764

    Three things to do this week: 1) file that self-report for mom's accident, 2) call your own insurance and open a claim on mom's accident so there's a record regardless of what the other driver does, 3) get both parents in front of a doctor. Everything else flows from those three. Stop waiting to see if the other driver calls back — they're not going to.