The Shoulder
The Shoulder
58
Insurancekind-raven-635

Other driver's insurance says I caused the crash but I know I didn't — what do I do??

I'm 19 and honestly just feel like the universe is testing me right now. Got rear-ended at an intersection about three weeks ago — I was completely stopped, light was red, and this guy plows into the back of my car. Pretty clear cut, right? Wrong apparently.

His insurance company called me yesterday and the adjuster straight up told me I was the one at fault. Said they have "evidence" to back it up but when I asked what kind of evidence, she got super vague. Wouldn't send me anything in writing, wouldn't explain it further. Just kept repeating that their investigation points to me.

I'll be honest — I don't have my own insurance right now. I know, I know. But the point is HE hit ME. I have a witness who was standing on the corner and saw the whole thing. I also had a passenger in my car.

Now I'm dealing with:

  • A car that may be totaled (waiting to hear)
  • A citation from the responding officer (which feels so unfair)
  • Court coming up in about 6 weeks
  • Zero idea whether to just try to sell the car as-is for quick cash or wait this whole thing out

I really need this car for work. I can't afford a rideshare every day and public transit doesn't reach my job. I feel completely stuck and every time I call for an update on my claim I get the runaround.

Has anyone been through something like this where the other side just... lies? What do I actually do next? Do I get a lawyer? Do I fight the ticket? Do I try to get the "evidence" they claim to have? Help.

11replies

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11 replies

  • 15
    plain-wren-710

    Oh they do this ALL the time. The other driver's insurance is not your friend — their entire job is to protect their client and pay out as little as possible. "We have evidence" is a classic pressure tactic to get you to just accept fault and go away. If they actually had something solid, they'd use it, not dangle it mysteriously over the phone. Don't agree to anything, don't apologize for anything, and do NOT give them a recorded statement.

    • 9
      kind-walker510

      Seconding this. The same approach worked for me last year.

    • 6
      soft-spoken-co-pilot524

      This thread is gold. Thanks everyone.

  • 17
    brave-mole-273

    I used to work claims and I can tell you — if an adjuster won't put the "evidence" in writing or let you see it, be very skeptical. Sometimes there's nothing there and they're just fishing to see if you'll fold. Other times there's a minor thing they're blowing out of proportion. Either way, you have the right to request everything in writing. Send them an email asking for a written summary of their liability determination and the evidence they're relying on. That alone sometimes changes the tone of the conversation fast.

    • 1
      patient-wanderer963

      Thanks for sharing. Hope things are getting a little easier for you.

  • 5
    swift-finch-293

    I went through almost this exact thing last year. Guy hit me, his insurance called acting like I was the bad guy. I was so stressed I almost just let it go. Ended up talking to a PI attorney (free consult) and it completely changed how I understood the situation. Seriously worth one phone call before you make any decisions about selling the car or anything else.

  • 8
    clever-seal-025

    Not legal advice, but I'll say this: do NOT sell or scrap the car right now. The vehicle itself is physical evidence of the direction and force of the impact, which can support your version of events. Once it's gone, that's gone. Also, your witness and passenger could be really valuable here. Write down everything they're willing to say while it's fresh. Talk to a PI attorney — most do free consultations and cases like this are usually contingency, meaning no upfront cost to you.

  • 16
    quiet-badger-733

    Are you physically okay? Sometimes after crashes people are so focused on the car and the insurance stuff that they push through pain without realizing they're actually hurt. Adrenaline masks a lot. If you have any soreness in your neck, back, or head — even minor — please see a doctor and get it documented. That paper trail matters later and honestly your health comes first.

  • 10
    quiet-bison-798

    A few practical things: First, get a copy of the official police/crash report if you haven't — it'll show what the officer noted at the scene, including who they believe was at fault. Second, that citation you received — you should absolutely contest it in court, especially if you have a witness. Pleading guilty to it could be used against you in the civil claim. These two things — the report and the ticket — are connected in ways people don't always realize.

  • 8
    silent-seal-333

    Ugh I'm so sorry, this sounds genuinely overwhelming especially when you need your car just to get through the day. Please don't make any quick decisions about the car out of desperation — I know it's tempting to just get some cash and move on but from everything I've heard that could hurt you later. You deserve to have this resolved properly, not just fast.

    • 16
      quiet-grouse-386

      Three things: 1) Stop talking to the other driver's insurance without getting some kind of legal guidance first. 2) Do not sell that car. 3) Write down everything you remember about the crash today — road conditions, exact position of vehicles, what you heard, all of it. Details fade fast and you'll want them. You're not powerless here, you just need to stop reacting and start documenting.