The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Insurancesharp-wolf-840

Other driver's insurance ghosting us after parking lot hit — what do we do?

Really frustrated and could use some perspective from people who've been through this.

About three weeks ago someone backed into my daughter's car in a grocery store parking lot. Pretty clear-cut — they left a note with their info, there's a dent in the rear quarter panel and some paint transfer. Not catastrophic, but definitely not just a scratch either.

We contacted their insurance company right away, submitted all the photos they asked for, filled out their online form, the whole thing. The adjuster called once to confirm receipt and then... nothing. We've left at least four voicemails over the past two weeks. No response. The company isn't one I've ever heard of and honestly their whole portal looks like it was built in 2009.

A couple of wrinkles making this more stressful:

  • The policy is actually under someone else's name at the same address — guessing a parent or partner situation
  • I genuinely don't know if that affects how they handle liability
  • My daughter needs her car fixed and she's been putting it off waiting for this to resolve

Here's my hesitation about going through our own insurance: we have a deductible that would basically eat up whatever the repair costs anyway, and I really don't want this touching her record if she did absolutely nothing wrong.

Is there a way to light a fire under the other driver's insurer without involving ours? Can we escalate somehow — like to a state insurance commissioner or something? Or is there a smarter play here I'm not seeing?

Any advice appreciated. This is our first time dealing with something like this.

13replies

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13 replies

  • 9
    daring-crane-689

    Went through almost the exact same thing last year. The trick that finally worked for me was sending a written letter — actual mail, certified — to the insurance company's claims department. Something about getting something physical in their hands made them respond within a week when calls had done nothing for a month. Also CC'd the adjuster's supervisor whose name I found on their website. Worth a shot before you escalate further.

    • 8
      quiet-vole-284

      Quick question — did you actually get confirmation in writing that they received the photos and opened the claim formally? Sometimes these online portals are clunky and submissions don't go through properly. I'd make sure you have an actual claim number on record before assuming they're just ignoring you.

    • 1
      gentle-walker133

      Wish I had seen this a month ago — would have saved me a lot of stress.

  • 10
    quiet-kestrel-377

    Don't be surprised if this is a deliberate stall tactic. Some of the smaller carriers bank on claimants just giving up or getting so frustrated they go through their own insurance instead. That way the other company pays out nothing. Keep a detailed log of every call you make — date, time, who you spoke to (or that no one answered). That record matters if this ever goes further.

    • 1
      gentle-dreamer508

      This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you.

  • 19
    humble-crow-982

    So I used to work on the inside and I can tell you a few things. First, adjusters carry ridiculous caseloads at some of these smaller companies, so it may not even be intentional. Second — and this is important — you can absolutely file a complaint with your state's Department of Insurance. Carriers are required to acknowledge and act on third-party claims within specific timeframes set by state law. The moment they see a regulatory complaint filed, things tend to move very fast. Look up your state's DOI website, it usually takes about 10 minutes to file online.

    • 6
      thankful-overpass974

      Following up on this — any update on how it turned out?

    • 0
      gentle-rider743

      Going through something similar right now. Did following up actually move the needle for you?

  • 8
    calm-raven-612

    The state insurance commissioner route is legit and way more powerful than most people realize. Every state has 'unfair claims settlement practices' regulations, and unreasonable delays in communication can actually be a violation. Filing that complaint costs you nothing and puts the insurer on notice. Also — the fact that the named insured is different from the driver typically doesn't block the claim as long as the driver had permission to use the vehicle, which they almost certainly did.

  • 12
    clear-vole-121

    File the complaint with the DOI today. Stop waiting. You've been patient for three weeks and gotten nothing. Being polite is fine but at some point you have to apply actual pressure and that's the fastest legal lever you have.

  • 15
    wise-finch-170

    This sounds so stressful, especially when your daughter did everything right and is still the one being inconvenienced. I really hope you get this sorted quickly. The idea that the person who caused the damage just gets to ignore it while she waits around is infuriating.

  • 16
    humble-stoat-744

    Not legal advice, but a couple of things worth knowing: if the insurer continues to stall without resolution, your daughter may have the option of pursuing the at-fault driver directly in small claims court depending on your state's limits and the repair estimate. That sometimes motivates insurers to settle quickly because now there's a court date involved. Also, a free consult with a PI attorney costs nothing and they can often tell you in 15 minutes whether you have any additional options. Most won't charge unless they recover something.

  • 17
    curious-wren-438

    Just want to ask — is your daughter doing okay physically? Sometimes people brush off bumps and jostles in low-speed parking lot hits and then feel neck or back stuff days later. If anything feels off, get it documented with a doctor sooner rather than later. Probably fine, just worth mentioning.