The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Insurancewarm-fox-355

Other driver keeps texting my husband demanding more cash after insurance already settled — what do we do?

Okay so here's the situation. My husband was pulling out of a tight parking garage spot a few weeks back and he clipped the rear bumper of the car parked next to him. Super minor — we're talking a small scrape and maybe a slight crack in the plastic. He did the right thing, left a note, the other driver called him, they exchanged info on the spot, and our insurance opened a claim immediately.

Fast forward to last week — our insurer told us the claim was settled and the other driver was paid out for the damage. We figured that was that. Done.

Except now this guy keeps texting my husband directly, saying the payout "doesn't even come close" to covering what his body shop quoted him and that my husband needs to send him money personally to cover the difference. He's texted four times in the past three days.

From what I understand, the whole point of having insurance is so that they handle this stuff. My husband wants to just keep redirecting the guy to our adjuster but he's starting to feel guilty and wonder if he's somehow on the hook for extra out-of-pocket.

My gut says the other driver probably took his car to some premium shop that charges way above what insurance considers "reasonable and customary" for the area — which is honestly on him, not us.

Are we thinking about this right? Should my husband just stop responding altogether? Does engaging with this guy at all create any risk for us? A little nervous because the texts are starting to feel pushy.

11replies

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11 replies

  • 20
    keen-fox-131

    Almost the exact same thing happened to me after a minor fender tap in a shopping center lot. The other driver kept calling me personally even after insurance paid. My adjuster told me flat out: once a claim is settled, any further contact from the other party should go directly through insurance. I stopped responding to the guy personally and just forwarded every message to my adjuster. It died down pretty quickly after that.

    • 2
      honest-optimist168

      This is really helpful — thank you for posting it.

  • 19
    bright-heron-718

    Ugh, this sounds so stressful. The fact that this guy is texting four times in three days is a lot. Even if your husband feels bad about the original scrape, that doesn't mean he owes someone money on top of what insurance already paid. You did the right thing throughout this whole situation.

    • 8
      quiet-driver199

      Really glad you posted an update — gives the rest of us some hope.

  • 18
    bold-bison-046

    Worked in claims for years. What you're describing is really common. The claimant gets a settlement check, takes it to a shop that isn't on the insurer's preferred list, the shop quotes something higher, and then they come back to the at-fault driver personally hoping for extra cash. Here's the thing — once your insurer paid a settlement, that's generally considered resolution of the claim. Your husband is not obligated to top it off out of pocket. He should notify your insurer about these texts immediately and let them handle any further communication. Don't ghost the guy without looping in your adjuster first — just so there's a paper trail.

  • 18
    quiet-marmot-942

    Not legal advice, but I'd flag one thing: your husband should avoid making any statements to this person that could be interpreted as an admission of additional liability or a promise to pay. Even something like "I'm sorry you're dealing with this" in writing can get twisted. Keep all communication going through your insurer from this point forward. If the other driver escalates beyond texts — like sends a demand letter or mentions small claims court — that's when talking to an actual attorney briefly might be worthwhile.

  • 15
    brave-marmot-319

    One thing worth knowing: depending on your state, when an insurer settles a claim they often have the other party sign a release. If that happened here, the guy may have already waived his right to seek additional compensation. Your husband should ask his adjuster whether a release was signed as part of the settlement. That one question could end this whole thing pretty fast.

    • 1
      tired-dreamer252

      How long did it end up taking in your case?

  • 10
    genuine-otter-049

    Stop replying to the texts. Like, today. Every response your husband sends is just keeping this door open. Forward the messages to your insurer, tell them what's happening, and let them deal with it. That's what the premium pays for.

  • 7
    warm-finch-984

    Your gut is probably right about the shop situation. A lot of times when insurance pays out, they base it on what's called a prevailing market rate — basically what a reasonable shop in your area charges. If the other driver decided to go to some specialty place that charges double, that gap is not automatically your husband's problem. Don't let this guy guilt your husband into opening his wallet. That's exactly what he's hoping for.

    • 17
      curious-badger-144

      Quick question — did your insurer actually confirm in writing that the claim is closed and settled? Sometimes adjusters verbally say something is resolved but the file isn't technically closed yet. Worth double-checking before assuming this is fully wrapped up on your end.