The Shoulder
The Shoulder
52
swift-raven-815

Other driver blew the light and now people online are blaming ME??

I genuinely cannot believe I'm having to deal with this on top of everything else.

So last week I got T-boned at an intersection. The other driver ran a solid red — not even a late yellow, a full red — and hit me on the driver's side while I was moving straight through on a green. I've got a dash cam and the footage is pretty clear. I posted a clip in a local Facebook group just to vent and maybe see if anyone else had issues at that intersection.

The comments turned into a pile-on. People are saying I must have "crept into the intersection" or that my speed "contributed to the impact" or — my personal favorite — that I should have "anticipated" someone running the light. Like, sorry, I didn't have my crystal ball charged that morning.

My car is a total loss. I've got a referral to a specialist because my shoulder and neck have been pretty messed up since the crash. I'm dealing with insurance calls, rental car stress, and now apparently internet strangers who have decided I'm at fault based on a three-second clip.

Has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing — where even though the other driver clearly caused the accident, everyone tries to find a way to blame you? And more importantly, does any of this online noise actually matter legally or with insurance? I'm worried the other driver's insurance is going to try to use the same logic those commenters did.

I just want to recover and get my life back to normal. This whole situation has me exhausted and honestly kind of anxious. Any advice or even just solidarity would be appreciated. 😮‍💨

11replies

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11 replies

  • 18
    calm-newt-026

    Ugh, the internet armchair experts are the WORST when you're already going through it. I got rear-ended at a light last year and posted about it somewhere online and immediately had people telling me I must have braked suddenly or was probably on my phone. People love to find any reason to doubt the person who got hurt. You're not alone in this.

    • 11
      tidy-sparrow-726

      Stop posting about the accident publicly. I mean it. Anything you say online can theoretically be used to complicate your claim. You already have the footage — that's your asset. Archive it in multiple places, get a copy of the police report, and let the evidence do the talking. The Facebook comment section is not a courtroom and you don't owe anyone an explanation.

  • 18
    patient-raven-173

    Here's the thing nobody tells you — adjusters sometimes DO try to use that kind of logic. They'll call it 'comparative negligence' and try to assign you some percentage of fault even when the other driver clearly blew the light. It's a negotiating tactic to lower what they pay out. Do NOT give a recorded statement to the other driver's insurance without thinking carefully first. They are not on your side, full stop.

  • 22
    steady-vole-013

    Former adjuster here. That online noise doesn't directly affect your claim, but here's what does matter: your dash cam footage, the police report (especially if the responding officer noted the light violation), and any witness statements. If all of that lines up in your favor, a competent adjuster is going to have a hard time pinning meaningful fault on you. The problem is not every adjuster is competent, and some will fish for any reason to reduce liability. Protect your footage and don't delete anything.

    • 7
      curious-raven-415

      I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Getting hurt is already awful, and then having to read strangers twist the story while you're in pain is just cruel. Please try to step away from those comment sections — they genuinely don't matter and they're only going to stress you out more. Focus on healing. 💙

  • 11
    curious-marten-070

    Not legal advice, but what you're describing — clear footage, a documented at-fault driver, and real physical injuries — is exactly the kind of situation where talking to a personal injury attorney before accepting anything from insurance makes sense. Most do free consultations. The comparative fault angle the skeptic mentioned is real, and you want someone in your corner who knows how to push back on it.

    • 3
      mellow-sidewalk381

      Following up on this — any update on how it turned out?

  • 18
    mellow-raven-265

    Please take the shoulder and neck stuff seriously and don't let the insurance chaos distract you from your actual recovery. Soft tissue injuries from side-impact crashes can feel manageable at first and then really flare up weeks later. Keep every appointment, follow through with that specialist referral, and document everything — symptoms, how you're sleeping, what activities you can't do. That paper trail matters medically AND if you end up in any kind of claim process.

    • 1
      calm-walker816

      Going through something similar right now. Did following up actually move the needle for you?

  • 22
    curious-owl-086

    Not doubting you, but a couple of things worth thinking through: Does the dash cam footage clearly show the light state for BOTH directions? Sometimes the angle only captures one signal. And was there a police report filed at the scene? If the responding officer didn't cite the other driver, that could complicate things even if the footage looks obvious to you. Just want to make sure your evidence is as solid as you think it is before you go in confident.

    • 4
      patient-survivor279

      Wish I had seen this a month ago — would have saved me a lot of stress.