The Shoulder
The Shoulder
63
Recovery & winscool-hare-349

Months into recovery and some days I genuinely don't want to keep going — anyone else?

Putting this out there because I need to know I'm not the only one.

I do have a therapist and my doctor knows where my head is at. I'm safe. I just need to say this somewhere that people might actually get it.

A distracted driver ran a red light and T-boned me back in the spring. I had a pretty severe concussion on top of some neck and back injuries. The concussion stuff is what's wrecking me the most — I can't handle bright rooms, I can't follow a conversation for long, I get dizzy just walking to my kitchen. I had a job I loved. I was good at it. Now I can barely send an email without my head spinning.

My employer was "understanding" for about six weeks, then started pushing me to come back before I was cleared. When I couldn't, they found a reason to let me go. I'm fighting that separately but honestly I don't have the bandwidth.

I've been mostly housebound for going on four months. My world has gotten so small. I have people who love me — I know that — but I feel like a burden every single day. The person I was before this accident feels like a stranger. I used to go hiking on weekends. I used to host dinner parties. Now I wear sunglasses indoors and cancel on everyone.

I don't wish this on anybody. But please tell me somebody out there has come out the other side of this. Or at least that you understand what this in-between place feels like. Because right now it's really, really heavy.

9replies

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9 replies

  • 7
    clear-mole-953

    I could've written this post about fourteen months ago. Post-concussion syndrome after my accident had me housebound, light-sensitive, and feeling like my personality had been deleted. I'm not going to sugarcoat it — the middle part was brutal. But I'm typing this from a coffee shop right now, which would've been unthinkable back then. You're not alone, and this in-between place does not last forever.

  • 20
    clever-marmot-824

    What you're describing — the shrinking world, the cognitive fog, the grief over who you were before — that's a completely recognized part of recovering from a traumatic brain injury, even a mild one. It's not weakness and it's not in your head (well, technically it is, but you know what I mean). The brain heals on its own timeline and it is genuinely one of the most frustrating injuries to recover from because there's no cast, nobody can see it.

    Please make sure your care team knows about the emotional piece specifically, not just the physical symptoms. Sometimes people underreport the mental health side because they're focused on the dizziness and headaches. Both matter.

  • 8
    kind-marten-058

    I'm so sorry. Sending you a lot of care right now. The fact that you reached out says something about you — please keep doing that, here or anywhere.

  • 17
    brave-beaver-215

    Just want to flag something practically — if you're not already documenting all of this (the cognitive symptoms, the days you can't function, the job loss, canceled plans, everything), please start now. A journal, even just voice memos on your phone. The emotional and quality-of-life damage is real and it matters in a claim. Adjusters will try to minimize anything that isn't a visible physical injury. Don't let them.

    • 0
      steady-dreamer548

      That lines up with what my adjuster told me too.

  • 8
    curious-sparrow-534

    Not legal advice, but I'll say this: what you're describing — loss of employment, cognitive impairment, months of reduced quality of life from someone else's negligence — that's exactly the kind of situation a personal injury attorney evaluates. Many work on contingency so there's no upfront cost. The job situation alone might be worth a separate conversation with an employment attorney too. Take care of yourself first, but don't let the legal clock run out while you're recovering.

  • 8
    gentle-marmot-397

    I know 'silver lining' sounds hollow when you're in the thick of it, so I'll just say this: the fact that you're fighting — going to appointments, dealing with the job stuff, reaching out — is not nothing. That's actually a lot. You're still in here.

  • 17
    keen-owl-872

    Four things: 1) Document every symptom, every bad day, every canceled plan. 2) Get an attorney consult before you talk to the other driver's insurance any more than you have to. 3) Look into whether your employer's actions around letting you go qualify as wrongful termination — that's a separate issue from the accident claim. 4) You're not a burden. You got hurt because someone else wasn't paying attention. That's on them.

  • 10
    brave-kestrel-730

    I used to work on the claims side and I want to be honest with you: the type of injury you have — the invisible, cognitive, quality-of-life stuff — is exactly what some adjusters are trained to push back on hardest. Not because it's not real, but because it's harder to attach a number to. If you haven't already, please talk to a PI attorney just so you understand what your case actually looks like. You deserve to know your options.