The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Property damagewise-mole-275

Insurance totaled my car but won't let me buy it back?? Can they actually do that?

So my car got sideswiped in a parking lot by someone who fled — thankfully a witness got their plate and their liability insurance is handling the claim.

Here's where it gets frustrating. My car is older but it runs perfectly, low miles, I've kept it immaculate. The damage is basically cosmetic — a crumpled rear quarter panel and a door that's a little stiff to open. Their adjuster declared it a total loss because the repair estimate crept past some threshold relative to the car's book value.

Fine, I get it. But I want to keep my car. I asked about a buyback — where they pay me the total loss amount and I keep the vehicle with a salvage title. I've done this before with a different car years ago, no problem.

This time the adjuster told me "we don't offer owner retentions on third-party claims." Just like that. No explanation, no alternative offered.

Wait — they don't own my car. I do. How does the at-fault driver's insurance get to decide whether I keep my own property? It feels completely backwards.

I've been doing some reading and it sounds like owner retention is actually pretty standard practice in most states, but I can't find anything specific to my situation where it's the other driver's insurance (not mine) handling the claim.

Has anyone dealt with this? Did you push back and win, or did you just have to take the payout and move on? I really don't want to be shopping for a replacement right now — the used car market is still brutal and I genuinely love this car.

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11 replies

  • 19
    swift-bison-056

    I went through almost the exact same thing two years ago. Other driver's insurance totaled mine and gave me the same runaround. What worked for me was filing the claim through MY own collision coverage and letting the two insurers sort out subrogation between themselves. My adjuster was way more cooperative about the buyback because I was their actual customer. Might be worth a call to your own carrier even if it feels roundabout.

    • 14
      tidy-wren-811

      Former adjuster here — that "we don't do owner retention on third-party claims" line is real, and some carriers do have that policy internally, but it's not a LAW. What's actually happening is the third-party insurer is trying to take title of the salvage vehicle and sell it to a salvage yard themselves, which recoups some of their loss cost. It's a cost-recovery move dressed up as policy. Push back hard. Ask them in writing to cite the specific policy language or statute that prevents you from retaining your own vehicle. A lot of times that request alone changes their tune.

    • 10
      weary-neighbor134

      Seconding this. The same approach worked for me last year.

    • 13
      patient-sparrow-375

      Not legal advice, but this is worth knowing: in most states, a third-party insurer's obligation is to make you "whole" — meaning they owe you the fair market value of your vehicle. Whether you then choose to keep the vehicle and accept a reduced settlement (ACV minus salvage value) is generally YOUR right as the vehicle owner, not their decision. If they're stonewalling you, a short consultation with a PI attorney who handles property damage could clarify your options pretty quickly. Many do free consults.

  • 17
    plain-owl-365

    They want the salvage. Full stop. Salvage auctions can be surprisingly profitable for insurers and they don't want to give that up. Don't let them frame this as "policy" when it's really just them protecting their own bottom line at your expense.

    • 18
      wise-bison-035

      One practical step: look up your state's department of insurance website and search for "total loss" regulations. Many states have specific rules about owner retention rights, and some even require insurers to offer it. If your state has that protection, you can literally quote the regulation number back to the adjuster. That tends to move things along pretty fast.

  • 16
    kind-otter-094

    Stop talking to adjusters on the phone and put everything in writing — email is fine. Ask them formally: "Please provide the policy language or regulatory basis for denying my right to retain my vehicle." If they can't produce it, escalate to their supervisor. If that goes nowhere, file a complaint with your state's insurance commissioner. That complaint alone often triggers a sudden reversal.

    • 2
      gentle-traveler794

      Thanks for sharing. Hope things are getting a little easier for you.

  • 15
    patient-badger-576

    Quick question — did the repair estimate actually exceed the car's ACV, or did the adjuster just declare it totaled without showing you the math? Sometimes they lowball the vehicle value to make the total loss threshold easier to hit. Might be worth getting an independent appraisal of what the car is actually worth before you accept anything.

  • 12
    plain-sparrow-030

    Ugh, this is so stressful, especially when the whole thing wasn't even your fault. I really hope you get to keep your car — it's so unfair that you're jumping through all these hoops because someone else hit you. Rooting for you!

    • 8
      level-road-soul106

      Saving this whole thread. Really appreciate the honesty here.