The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Car accidentspatient-crane-307

Hit and run driver admitted fault over text but now ghosting me — what do I do?

So this happened about a week ago and I'm honestly still shaking with frustration.

I was parked in a strip mall lot when another driver clipped the entire passenger side of my car pulling out of the space next to me. Broad daylight. I was sitting in the driver's seat waiting for my kid to run back inside the store. The other driver just… pulled out and kept going.

A woman walking to her car saw the whole thing and came over — she was amazing, honestly. She snapped a photo of the other car as it was leaving. I got the shot from her and posted it on a neighborhood Facebook group that night. Someone actually recognized the car and tagged the owner.

Here's where it gets complicated. The driver messaged me directly and said he "didn't realize he'd made contact" and felt terrible. We went back and forth for a few days — he kept saying he'd "make it right" and asked me to get a repair estimate. I did. Two of them, actually. Then radio silence. Now he's reading my messages and not responding.

I never got his insurance info. I have:

  • Photos of the damage to my car
  • The photo of his car leaving
  • Screenshots of our entire conversation where he basically admits he hit me

I finally filed a police report yesterday. The officer said they'd "look into it" but seemed pretty noncommittal. My own insurance has uninsured motorist coverage but I really don't want to go that route if I don't have to — my rates are already not great.

Has anyone been in a situation like this? Can police actually force someone to hand over their insurance info? Are those text messages enough to go after his insurance directly if I can track down his carrier?

15replies

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15 replies

  • 8
    tidy-raven-648

    I went through almost the exact same thing last year. The person was super apologetic at first and then just disappeared. What ended up working for me was going through the DMV — in my state you can submit a formal request tied to a police report and they can pull the registered owner's insurance information. It's slow but it works. Definitely don't let that police report sit — follow up on it in a few days.

  • 16
    kind-mole-650

    Be really careful about going through your own insurance even with UM coverage. Once you file, your insurer becomes involved and they have their own interests — not yours. They might go after the other driver's carrier themselves but you could still end up absorbing some cost or dealing with a rate bump. Exhaust every other option first before you let your own company into the mix.

    • 7
      hopeful-dreamer415

      How long did it end up taking in your case?

  • 17
    tidy-lynx-258

    Those text messages are genuinely valuable — more than most people realize. When I worked on the claims side, written admissions like that changed the entire trajectory of a case. If you can identify his carrier (sometimes you can find this through a DMV records request linked to a police report), and you send them those screenshots, they will take it seriously. Adjusters are trained to spot liability when it's handed to them in writing. Don't sit on that evidence.

    • 9
      tired-rider504

      Seconding this. The same approach worked for me last year.

  • 15
    candid-bison-478

    A few practical things worth knowing: First, follow up with the police department in writing — email if you can — so there's a paper trail that you're actively pursuing this. Second, in most states, leaving the scene of an accident is a misdemeanor, and police can compel insurance info if they issue a citation. Whether they will is another story, but the report gives you leverage. Third, those messages could absolutely be used to file a third-party claim if you identify his insurer. Talk to someone who handles PI cases — a lot of them do free consults and can tell you exactly what your options are.

    • 2
      tired-parent244

      How long did it end up taking in your case?

    • 1
      mellow-road-soul919

      This thread is gold. Thanks everyone.

  • 19
    spry-marten-623

    Not legal advice, but just to echo what others are saying — written admissions in a hit and run situation are genuinely significant. The tricky part is identifying his carrier without his cooperation, but a police report combined with DMV records can sometimes get you there. If you hit a wall, a personal injury attorney can often track that down through channels you don't have access to on your own. Most will look at a case like this for free before you commit to anything.

  • 15
    kind-seal-673

    I just want to ask — are you physically okay? Even low-speed parking lot impacts can do weird things to your neck and back, and symptoms sometimes don't show up for a few days. If you have any soreness, stiffness, or headaches at all, please get checked out and document it. I've seen people brush off minor discomfort and then deal with real problems months later.

    • 0
      kind-wanderer177

      Really glad you posted an update — gives the rest of us some hope.

  • 10
    clever-lynx-542

    Ugh this is so infuriating to read. He literally admitted it over text and now he's hiding. I'm sorry you're dealing with this — it's such a violation. Please don't let him off the hook. Keep pushing on the police report and maybe talk to someone who can help you figure out next steps. You did everything right here.

  • 5
    warm-lynx-770

    Stop waiting for him to respond and stop hoping the police magically fix it. Take those screenshots, file the police report follow-up in writing, find out if your state has a way to pull insurance info through DMV on a reported accident, and consult a PI attorney — this week. You have a solid paper trail. Use it.

    • 9
      curious-passenger231

      That lines up with what my adjuster told me too.

  • 16
    clever-beaver-623

    Quick question — did the witness who took the photo give you a statement or contact info? If this ends up going further, her account could matter. A photo alone shows a car leaving; her saying she watched the actual impact is a different level of evidence. Worth reaching out if you haven't already.