The Shoulder
The Shoulder
53
steady-marmot-529

Hit in a parking lot while I was grocery shopping — now my insurer is making me choose and I'm lost

So I came out of the grocery store last weekend and found my front quarter panel completely caved in. There was a handwritten note under my wiper from some kind stranger who saw the whole thing — said a big pickup truck clipped me pulling out of the spot next to mine and just... drove off. Thankfully the note had a description of the truck and a partial plate.

Here's where it gets complicated. I tracked down the truck owner through a mutual acquaintance (small town, wild), and they actually admitted they bumped me but claimed it was "barely anything." It is very much not barely anything — there's a crease running along the panel, my hood doesn't sit flush anymore, and the body shop said there could be hidden structural issues they won't know about until they pull it apart.

The truck owner has insurance through a smaller regional carrier I've never heard of. I have my own policy through a completely different company.

My insurer basically gave me two paths:

Option A: They stay mostly hands-off. I deal directly with the other driver's carrier, negotiate my own payout, and my insurer just answers questions if I get stuck.

Option B: I pay my deductible upfront, they take over communication with the other carrier, get my car into repairs faster — but they were very careful to say getting my deductible reimbursed later is "not guaranteed."

I've never had to file a real claim before. Is Option B actually worth the deductible risk? Has anyone gone the Option A route and actually gotten a fair payout dealing with the other person's insurance directly? I feel like I'm being set up to lose either way and I just want my car fixed without getting screwed over.

15replies

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15 replies

  • 18
    plain-finch-181

    Worked in claims for years. Here's the honest breakdown: Option B (going through your own carrier) is almost always faster and less stressful for the policyholder. Your insurer already has established relationships and processes with other carriers — they know how to push back. The deductible reimbursement thing is called subrogation, and while it's not guaranteed, if liability is as clear as it sounds here, they usually do recover it. The "not guaranteed" language is just legal CYA. That said, get the truck driver's admission in writing somehow — text, email, anything — before that window closes.

    • 0
      weary-survivor462

      Wish I had seen this a month ago — would have saved me a lot of stress.

  • 17
    careful-swift-378

    That stranger's note and any partial plate info are actually really valuable evidence. If you haven't already, take photos of the note itself and save it somewhere safe. Also, if your grocery store has parking lot cameras, you could potentially request that footage — stores typically only keep it for a short window before it's overwritten. Worth asking sooner rather than later.

  • 16
    swift-swan-154

    This is so stressful and I'm sorry you're dealing with it. The fact that the other driver basically admitted fault is huge though — that's not nothing. You didn't do anything wrong, your car is damaged, and you deserve to have it made right. Don't let either insurance company make you feel like you're asking for too much.

    • 2
      tired-optimist868

      This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you.

  • 13
    brave-otter-172

    Do NOT let the other carrier be your first call without understanding what you're walking into. Their adjuster's entire job is to minimize what they pay out. If you go Option A and talk to them without knowing your rights, you could easily end up accepting a check that doesn't even cover hidden damage. Once you sign anything with them, it can be really hard to reopen the claim.

  • 11
    genuine-marmot-153

    I know you mentioned just car damage, but did you feel any jolt or anything when you got in? Even minor tension from the stress of this whole situation can mask things your body is doing. Just saying — if anything feels off physically in the next few days, don't brush it off as "it wasn't even a real accident."

    • 1
      kind-walker477

      Curious whether you did this on your own or had help with it.

    • 3
      thankful-overpass725

      Exactly my experience. Persistence paid off in the end.

  • 10
    brave-seal-306

    The good news is you actually have evidence here — a witness, a partial plate, an admission. A lot of hit-and-run victims in parking lots get nothing because there's no trail at all. You're in a genuinely strong position, even if it doesn't feel that way right now.

  • 8
    warm-beaver-470

    Few questions before anyone can really advise you well: Do you have collision coverage or just liability? Some policies handle this differently. Also, did you get the stranger's contact info, or just the note? Because a note with no witness to back it up is helpful but a live witness who'll answer a phone call is way more powerful.

    • 10
      weary-neighbor148

      How long did it end up taking in your case?

  • 7
    careful-lynx-985

    I went through almost this exact same thing two years ago — someone tagged my car in a lot and I decided to deal with the other driver's insurance myself (your Option A basically). Honestly? It was exhausting. They lowballed me twice, kept asking for more documentation, and dragged it out for almost two months. I eventually got a fair-ish payout but I was basically a part-time claims negotiator for weeks. If I could go back I might have just paid the deductible and let my own insurer fight for me.

    • 6
      steady-passenger762

      How long did it end up taking in your case?

  • 5
    daring-vole-683

    Pay the deductible and go Option B. You have clear liability on the other driver's side, a witness account, and an admission. Your insurer has way more leverage dealing with another carrier than you do as a private individual. Stop overthinking it and let the professionals handle the back-and-forth while you get your car fixed.