The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Car accidentshearty-heron-636

Hit one year out from my crash and I'm somehow falling apart again — anyone else?

CW: trauma, injury talk

I don't really know how to start this so I'll just say it — last summer a truck ran a red light and hit me so hard my car ended up facing the wrong direction. I fractured my collarbone, cracked a few ribs, and did a real number on my knee. Spent weeks barely able to get off the couch, then months of PT just to walk without a limp.

Physically? I'm mostly there. My knee still complains when it rains and I probably always have a weird relationship with stairs now, but I function. I went back to work, I do normal things. I thought I had basically "handled" it.

But lately — and the one-year mark is coming up next month — I'm noticing stuff creeping back. I white-knuckle intersections I used to drive through without thinking. I had a dream about the crash twice last week. I got weirdly snappy at a friend who was just driving a little fast and had to explain myself after. It's embarrassing, honestly.

I thought I was past this part. I didn't expect the anniversary to hit like this. Did anyone else experience this? Like your brain saving some of the hard stuff for later? Does it pass? I'm already in therapy but it still feels like a lot right now and I just wanted to hear from people who've actually been through it, not just "give it time" platitudes.

Appreciate any of you taking the time to read this.

10replies

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10 replies

  • 10
    quiet-fox-265

    Oh man, yes. 100% yes. I was in a bad rear-end on the highway about two years ago and I genuinely thought I was fine by month six. Then the anniversary snuck up on me and I was a disaster for like three weeks. Couldn't explain it to anyone who hadn't been through something similar. What you're describing — the dreams, the hypervigilance at intersections — that was me exactly. It did get easier after the anniversary passed, like my nervous system finally exhaled. Hang in there.

  • 15
    quiet-otter-164

    What you're experiencing sounds really consistent with anniversary reactions, which are a recognized thing in trauma recovery. Your nervous system basically encodes the season, the light, the smells — and when those cues come back around, your brain can re-activate some of the fear response even when you consciously know you're safe. It doesn't mean you're going backward. It often means your brain is doing another layer of processing. Since you're already in therapy, maybe flag specifically that the anniversary is coming — that context can help your therapist tailor what you work on right now.

    • 0
      careful-neighbor733

      This is really helpful — thank you for posting it.

  • 19
    brave-otter-313

    I just want to say — there's nothing embarrassing about this. You went through something genuinely terrifying and your body and brain are still working through it. The fact that you're talking about it at all takes guts. I hope you have people around you offline too who can just sit with you when it gets heavy.

  • 5
    wise-bison-382

    I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but the fact that it's only coming back around the anniversary — rather than being this constant weight every single day like it probably was early on — is actually progress. You did so much work to get here. This is a speed bump, not a backslide.

  • 8
    spry-mole-778

    Anniversaries are legitimately hard for trauma survivors and there's actual research behind it, so stop calling yourself a mess — you're not. Practical stuff that helped me: keep your schedule full that week so your brain has less idle time to spiral, and if you can, do something intentional on the actual date that feels like your choice. Reclaim the day a little. Doesn't fix everything but it helps.

  • 21
    daring-lynx-466

    Not pushing back on what you're feeling at all — that sounds real and valid. I'm just curious: did you ever get connected with a trauma-specific therapist, or is it more general talk therapy? Asking because I went through something similar and regular therapy helped some, but once I got into someone who actually specialized in accident trauma it was a different level of useful. Might be worth asking your current therapist if they work with PTSD/trauma specifically.

  • 14
    spry-bison-197

    Not legal advice, and this is really more of a human moment than a legal one — but I will say, if you ever settled your case already, just know that what you're describing (ongoing psychological symptoms at one year out) is exactly the kind of thing that has real legal weight. If you haven't resolved your claim yet, make sure whoever is handling it knows the mental health piece is still very much active. Insurers love to treat these cases like the injury ended when the cast came off. It doesn't.

    • 4
      honest-neighbor431

      That lines up with what my adjuster told me too.

  • 11
    candid-bison-110

    Please be careful if an adjuster reaches out around this time. I don't know your situation but they sometimes time settlement pushes around anniversaries because they assume you want it to be "over." Don't sign anything just because you're emotionally exhausted and want closure. The closure you actually need doesn't come from a check.