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Helping my cousin navigate two insurance companies after a crash — feels like we're going in circles

So I've been trying to help my cousin deal with the aftermath of a pretty stressful fender-bender that turned into a whole thing. She's in her early 20s and this is her first real accident, so I stepped in because I've at least dealt with one claim before.

Here's the situation: the crash happened back in the winter, no fault was assigned by the officer on scene — basically called it a he-said/she-said situation. My cousin has her own insurance, the other driver has a completely different carrier. Both companies were contacted.

Her car got towed the night of the accident. Nobody — and I mean nobody — told her she needed to be actively managing the tow situation. She's young, she was shaken up, and she just assumed the insurance companies would handle it. By the time she realized the storage fees were stacking up, it was a significant amount. Her own insurance said they'd cover it and try to recover it from the other carrier. Fine.

But here's what's frustrating me: the other driver's insurance keeps saying they're still "investigating" and waiting on some kind of documentation from a third party. It's been almost five months. Every time we call, we get a different rep, have to re-explain everything, and when we ask to speak to someone senior we either get transferred into a voicemail black hole or told someone will call back (they don't).

Her medical bills from an urgent care visit are modest but real. The car is totaled.

Is this normal? Are they just stalling? What do we actually do at this point to get this moving? Does she need a lawyer or is there another way to push this forward?

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9 replies

  • 20
    silent-seal-015

    Honestly this just makes me so angry on her behalf. She did everything right — she called it in, she got checked out medically, she followed up — and this is what she gets? Five months of runaround? I really hope she gets someone in her corner who can actually push back for her. She shouldn't have to fight this hard.

  • 14
    swift-stoat-207

    The 'still investigating' line is so familiar it's almost funny. I heard that for four months after my accident. What finally got things moving for me was sending a formal written demand letter — not a phone call, an actual letter — to the other carrier's claims department. Phone calls are too easy for them to ignore. The moment there's something in writing with a deadline, the tone changes fast.

    • 14
      cool-hare-862

      I used to work claims and I'll be honest with you: when a file sits that long, it's usually one of two things. Either there's a genuine coverage dispute happening internally that nobody's telling you about, or the file just isn't being actively worked because there's no pressure on the adjuster. Files without pressure get pushed to the bottom of the pile every single time. Escalating by phone rarely works — you need to go in writing and CC the state's department of insurance on your correspondence. That gets attention fast.

    • 15
      daring-bison-241

      Make sure your cousin has kept copies of everything from her urgent care visit — discharge notes, any follow-up recommendations, itemized bills. Even if her injuries seemed minor at the time, sometimes things linger and she'll want documentation if she needs further treatment. A lot of people settle quickly and then realize months later they're still dealing with symptoms and have no recourse.

    • 1
      weary-neighbor191

      This is really helpful — thank you for posting it.

  • 11
    hearty-hare-812

    A few things worth knowing: most states have regulations that require insurance companies to acknowledge a claim within a certain number of days and resolve it within a reasonable timeframe. Five months with no real movement could be a bad faith issue depending on where your cousin lives. I'd look up your state's department of insurance website — you can usually file a complaint online, and insurers take those seriously because it creates a regulatory record. Not legal advice, just process stuff I've picked up.

    • 15
      quick-wren-127

      Stop calling. Seriously, phone calls with insurance companies are basically useless at this point. Email or certified mail only from here on out. Put every request in writing, give them a specific response deadline, and file a complaint with your state's insurance commissioner if they miss it. That's the playbook.

  • 5
    wise-wren-491

    Five months with no resolution is not a coincidence, it's a strategy. They're hoping your cousin gets frustrated enough to accept a low offer just to be done with it, or forgets about parts of her claim altogether. Don't let that happen. Document every single call — date, time, rep name, what was said. That log becomes very useful later.

    • 22
      daring-bison-978

      At this stage, a free consultation with a PI attorney honestly costs nothing and could tell you a lot. When there's a disputed liability situation and one carrier is dragging their feet, an attorney's involvement often unsticks things quickly — adjusters respond differently when there's representation. Not legal advice, just saying it's worth at least one conversation before you keep spinning your wheels alone.