The Shoulder
The Shoulder
72
quiet-mole-478

Guy swerved into my lane and now won't respond to my texts — what do I do?

So this happened about two weeks ago on the highway during my morning commute. Traffic was moving fine and then out of nowhere the car to my left just drifted over into my lane and clipped my front passenger side pretty hard. We both pulled over, I took photos of both cars, and we swapped contact info. He seemed apologetic at the scene and said "we'll work it out."

Here's the problem — I didn't push for a police report because he was cooperative and honestly I was just shaken up and wanted to get to work. Now I'm kicking myself for that.

I've texted him three times over the past week asking how he wants to handle it. Two of those texts he left on read. The third one he finally replied saying he "doesn't remember it happening the way I described" which is WILD because I have photos of the damage on both our cars from the scene.

The body shop estimate came back pretty significant. I have a $1,500 deductible on my collision coverage and I really don't want to eat that cost when this was 100% his fault. And I've heard filing through my own insurance can bump your rates even when you're not at fault, which is stressful.

Has anyone dealt with a situation like this where the other driver goes cold after the fact? Do I just file against his liability coverage directly? Can I even do that without a police report? I still have all my photos and I wrote down everything I remembered as soon as I got to work that day. Just feeling stuck and frustrated.

12replies

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12 replies

  • 18
    curious-owl-846

    Be really careful here. The moment you contact his insurer, they're going to record your statement and look for any angle to reduce his fault percentage or deny the claim entirely. Don't give them a recorded statement without understanding what you're getting into. They are not on your side — their job is to pay out as little as possible. Your photos are your best asset right now, protect that evidence.

  • 16
    quiet-kestrel-579

    Ugh, I went through almost exactly this. The other driver was super friendly at the scene and then basically ghosted me afterward. What I ended up doing was calling his insurance company directly — I had his info from the scene — and opening a third-party claim. You don't need a police report to do that. It was annoying and slow but it worked. The adjuster tried to lowball me at first but eventually they accepted liability.

    • 20
      steady-swift-039

      Not legal advice, but the photo evidence you have from the scene is genuinely strong. Damage location is often more persuasive than any he-said-she-said. If the third-party claim goes sideways or they try to split liability unfairly, a free consult with a PI attorney costs you nothing and can clarify your options fast. Most won't charge unless they recover something.

  • 16
    calm-wren-543

    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this on top of just recovering from the stress of the accident itself. The fact that he said "we'll work it out" and is now rewriting history is really disheartening. You did everything right by taking photos. Don't let him make you feel like you're misremembering — trust your documentation.

  • 15
    wise-lynx-620

    Quick question — did you get a photo of his actual insurance card at the scene, or just his name and number? That makes a big difference in how easily you can open a third-party claim. Also, are there any dashcam angles from your car or nearby traffic cameras that might have caught the lane change?

  • 13
    keen-dove-672

    I used to work claims and honestly a third-party claim without a police report is totally doable. What carriers actually look at is physical evidence — damage locations, photos, any witness info — and your written account. The fact that you wrote everything down the same day is huge, that kind of contemporaneous note carries real weight internally. His new story about "not remembering it that way" is going to be hard to sell when your photos show contact on the exact panels you described.

    • 7
      calm-optimist498

      Curious whether you did this on your own or had help with it.

  • 11
    bold-tern-775

    Stop texting him. He's clearly building a narrative. Call his insurance company today, give them your claim, send them your photos, and let them do their job. If they drag their feet or deny it, then you think about next steps. But sitting and waiting for him to do the right thing isn't a strategy.

  • 9
    tidy-vole-113

    A few practical things worth knowing: most states allow you to file a collision report yourself even after the fact if police weren't called — sometimes called a driver's exchange report or self-report form. Check your state DMV website. It won't carry the same weight as an officer's report but it creates an official record. Also, most liability policies require the insured to cooperate with their own insurer, so if he's clearly at fault, his carrier may accept the claim even if he's being difficult with you personally.

    • 7
      kind-neighbor490

      Appreciate the detailed write-up. Saving this for later.

  • 7
    quiet-seal-351

    I know you're focused on the car damage right now, but please make sure you're paying attention to your body too. Adrenaline masks a lot in the hours right after a crash. If you've got any stiffness, headaches, or neck soreness that's lingered at all, go get checked out. Documenting any physical symptoms early matters a lot — for your health first, but also just in case things escalate.

    • 5
      patient-rider177

      Appreciate the detailed write-up. Saving this for later.