The Shoulder
The Shoulder
66
Car accidentskind-fox-600

Got rear-ended at a red light 20 min ago — never been in an accident, what now??

I'm literally sitting in a parking lot right now trying to calm down. I was stopped at a red light and this guy plowed right into the back of me. No warning at all. My neck is already feeling stiff and my trunk is pretty crumpled.

The other driver was super apologetic and kept saying it was totally his fault — he was looking at his phone. He wanted to just swap numbers and handle it between us without involving insurance. Something felt off about that so I said no, we need to do this the right way, and I called 911. Officer came, took a report, gave us both a case number.

I'm 23 and this is literally my first accident ever. I took photos of both cars, the skid marks, the intersection. I got his insurance card and license info. I think I did the right things but honestly I'm shaking and second-guessing everything.

A few things I'm freaking out about:

  • My neck hurts but I don't want to be dramatic — should I go get checked out even if it's not unbearable?
  • Do I call HIS insurance or mine first?
  • He seemed nice but now I'm worried he's going to change his story
  • The cop said the report might take a few days — do I wait for it before doing anything?

Any advice from people who've been through this would mean a lot right now. I feel so lost.

12replies

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12 replies

  • 23
    curious-tern-686

    Not legal advice, but a few things worth knowing: the other driver admitting fault at the scene is helpful, but it's not binding — people change their stories when insurance gets involved, so that police report is going to be important. Also, if your symptoms persist or worsen after you get checked out, it may be worth at least talking to a PI attorney before settling anything. Most offer free consultations and can tell you whether you even have a case worth pursuing. Don't sign or accept anything from his insurance without understanding what you're releasing.

    • 8
      weary-survivor382

      Seconding this. The same approach worked for me last year.

  • 21
    patient-wolf-768

    You're asking all the right questions. A few practical things: (1) You can file a claim through your own insurance and let them go after his — that's called subrogation and can protect you if he disputes anything later. (2) Wait for the police report if you can, but you can also start a claim now and reference the case number. (3) Keep a little notes document on your phone — jot down how you're feeling each day, any symptoms, any appointments. That kind of record is genuinely useful if this goes anywhere.

  • 16
    bright-swift-892

    First — breathe. You actually handled this better than I did when it happened to me. I let the other driver talk me into skipping the police report and I regretted it for months. The fact that you have a case number already puts you in a really solid spot. Yes, go get checked out today or tomorrow. I thought my soreness was nothing and it turned into a weeks-long thing. Better to have it documented early.

  • 15
    curious-seal-822

    Do NOT call his insurance without thinking this through first. They are not on your side — their job is to close your claim fast and cheap. If you call them and casually say 'I feel okay mostly,' that can get used against you later. Be really careful what you say and to whom.

  • 15
    cool-dove-497

    You did everything right. Don't second-guess it. Now: go to a doctor today, stop talking to the other driver directly, and don't post details about the accident on social media. That's it for now.

    • 3
      plainspoken-late-shift293

      Took me three tries but they finally budged. Don't give up.

  • 15
    mellow-swift-043

    Oh man I'm so sorry, that sounds terrifying especially as your first accident. I'm glad you're physically okay enough to be typing! Please don't tough out the neck pain — just get seen. Everything else can be sorted out but your health comes first 💙

  • 13
    kind-dove-548

    I don't want to stress you out but — did you actually see the officer document that the other driver admitted fault, or did that conversation only happen between the two of you? Just want to make sure that's in the report and not just something you remember from the scene.

  • 8
    humble-lynx-179

    Please go get evaluated, even if the pain feels manageable right now. Adrenaline after a crash can seriously mask how hurt you actually are — I've seen people walk away feeling fine and wake up the next morning barely able to turn their head. Soft tissue injuries especially don't always show up immediately. An urgent care or ER visit creates a medical record tied to the date of the accident, which matters a lot if you need to make a claim later.

    • 1
      honest-parent664

      This is really helpful — thank you for posting it.

  • 7
    cool-crane-103

    Former adjuster here. The 'let's just handle it between us' offer is a huge red flag — seen it a hundred times. People say that when they're uninsured, underinsured, or they want to avoid a rate hike. You were right to call the cops.

    Also, don't be surprised if his insurance company tries to reach out quickly and sounds super friendly and helpful. That's deliberate. They're trying to get a recorded statement from you before you know the full extent of your injuries or damage. You are not required to give one.