The Shoulder
The Shoulder
64
kind-crane-119

Got cited with 3 traffic violations after a fender-bender we both agreed to let go — what now?

So this happened a few weeks ago and I'm still kind of in shock that it escalated this far.

I was on a surface road near a shopping center when a delivery van drifted into my lane and clipped my passenger side. We both pulled into a nearby parking lot — his idea actually. We walked around both vehicles together, agreed the damage was pretty minor on each end, shook hands, and went our separate ways. The whole thing felt resolved. No yelling, no drama, totally civil.

Fast forward to last week and I get three citations in the mail:

  • Reckless operation
  • Failure to file an accident report
  • Leaving the scene of a property damage accident

I'm genuinely confused. We both left. We both agreed it was fine. I didn't think a handshake deal meant I was committing some kind of crime.

The thing is, I have a few things working in my favor — I've got a dashcam that caught the initial collision and shows him drifting, and my phone has timestamped photos I took of the damage while we were still parked together.

What I don't understand is how I'm the only one who got cited, or whether the informal agreement we made even matters legally. Does shaking hands in a parking lot actually protect you from anything? Can the other driver just... not get cited at all?

Has anyone dealt with something like this before? I really don't want to just pay these fines and call it a day if there's something I can actually do here. Any experiences appreciated.

11replies

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11 replies

  • 18
    bold-beaver-413

    Ugh, I went through something almost identical — minor collision, both parties agreed to walk away, and then I got a citation about two weeks later. The informal agreement you made on the spot doesn't really hold any legal weight unfortunately. What saved me was my dashcam footage showing the other vehicle made the first erratic move. Definitely don't just pay those fines — contest every single one.

  • 21
    humble-crane-936

    Not legal advice, but worth knowing: a verbal agreement between two drivers to "let it go" doesn't override your legal obligation to file an accident report once damage exceeds your state's threshold (and that threshold is often surprisingly low — sometimes just a few hundred dollars). The leaving-the-scene citation is the one I'd be most focused on fighting, because it can carry serious consequences depending on your state. Your dashcam and timestamped photos could be genuinely valuable here. Talk to a traffic attorney before you do anything else.

  • 13
    quiet-grouse-959

    The other driver may have called his insurance or his employer after the fact — delivery drivers sometimes have to report any incident involving their work vehicle no matter what they agreed to on the scene. Once a report gets filed on their end, it can trigger an investigation that you knew nothing about. That's probably how you ended up cited while he walked.

    • 2
      calm-walker293

      Appreciate the detailed write-up. Saving this for later.

  • 13
    cool-newt-293

    A couple of things to keep in mind: most states require you to file an accident report any time there's property damage over a certain dollar amount, regardless of whether the other party agrees not to pursue it. That agreement has zero bearing on your statutory obligations. The good news is that a lot of these citations, especially the failure-to-report one, can sometimes be reduced or dismissed if it's a first offense and you have evidence showing good faith. Request a court date rather than paying — paying is basically an admission.

  • 22
    warm-bison-240

    I used to work claims and I saw this play out more than once. Drivers shake hands and go home, then one of them — or their employer — files a report days later to cover themselves, and suddenly the whole situation gets official. Once it's official, law enforcement can work backward and issue citations even after the fact. The party who files first often shapes how the narrative looks to investigators. Your dashcam footage is your best friend right now — preserve it, back it up, and don't share it with anyone except your attorney.

  • 19
    daring-otter-072

    Stop second-guessing yourself and get a traffic lawyer, today if possible. Three citations is not a DIY situation. Some of these charges can affect your license and insurance rates for years. A consultation is usually cheap or free and worth every minute.

    • 2
      honest-traveler275

      How long did it end up taking in your case?

  • 11
    bright-dove-075

    Also — and I say this as someone who sees delayed injury presentations all the time — make sure you get checked out medically even if you feel fine right now. Adrenaline masks a lot. If you do end up needing any kind of claim down the road, having a medical record from shortly after the incident matters more than most people realize.

    • 5
      weary-commuter849

      Same boat here. Did anyone mention a deadline to watch out for?

  • 20
    quiet-raven-582

    A few questions that might matter here: did either of you call the police at the scene, or did you both just leave without any official contact? And do you know for certain the other driver didn't file a report afterward? Because if he filed one and you didn't, that asymmetry could explain why only you got cited. Also, do you know what the property damage reporting threshold is in your state? Just trying to understand the full picture.