The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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careful-crow-130

My ex intentionally wrecked my truck while I'm overseas — am I liable for the damage?

I'm currently stationed abroad with the military, about six weeks into a long rotation. Before I left, I let my then-girlfriend use my truck while I was gone — added her to my policy and everything because I thought I was being responsible.

Apparently things went sideways between us while I've been away (long story, lots of arguments over the phone), and she intentionally drove my truck into another vehicle parked at a dealership. A brand new one, never even been titled. The dealership is now coming after me for damages that are way above my policy limits.

She and I were never married. We'd been together about two years. I'm not even on the same continent right now and I'm trying to sort this out through emails and phone calls at weird hours.

My questions: 1. Am I personally on the hook for the difference between what my insurance pays and what the dealership is demanding? 2. Does it matter that the damage was intentional? Like, does that change anything with insurance coverage? 3. Can I go after her for the remainder somehow?

I honestly can't believe I'm dealing with this while I'm already stressed out over here. I trusted her completely. I don't have the kind of money the dealership is asking for and I'm genuinely scared about what happens next. Has anyone been through anything remotely like this?

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9 replies

  • 17
    steady-heron-076

    Not legal advice, but this situation has a few layers worth knowing about. Intentional acts are often excluded from standard auto insurance policies — meaning your insurer might try to deny the claim entirely because she did it on purpose. That could actually complicate things further for you. The flip side is that if the act was intentional, she bears real personal liability for it, not just you. You should talk to an attorney ASAP — and given your military status, JAG may be a free first resource.

  • 15
    sharp-wolf-044

    Yeah so here's something people don't realize — when a loss is deemed intentional, insurers will often investigate and potentially deny coverage under the policy's intentional acts exclusion. That doesn't make YOUR problem go away, but it does shift the legal and financial spotlight onto her, not just your policy limits. The dealership's lawyers will go after whoever has money, though, so don't assume you're in the clear just because she did it on purpose.

  • 6
    tidy-badger-415

    Please do not let your insurance company handle this without you being fully in the loop. They have their own interests — which are not the same as yours. If they decide to pay out and it still falls short, they might not fight hard on your behalf for the rest. Get your own representation if you can.

  • 11
    spry-finch-421

    Not the exact same situation but my cousin let someone borrow his car and they got into a serious accident. The 'it's your car so it's your insurance first' rule is brutal and really unfair when you weren't even there. So sorry you're dealing with this from overseas — that part alone sounds incredibly stressful.

  • 12
    hearty-heron-946

    First thing: contact your base's JAG office or legal assistance office TODAY. Military legal assistance is free for active duty and they handle stuff like this more than you'd think. Don't try to negotiate with the dealership yourself and don't let your insurer be the only one advocating for you. This situation has enough moving parts that you need an actual human in your corner.

    • 7
      spry-owl-828

      Did she admit to anyone that it was intentional, or is that still disputed? Because 'intentional vs. accident' is going to be a huge factor in how this plays out legally and with insurance. If there's no clear proof it was on purpose, the insurance company might just process it as an at-fault accident — which is worse for your rates but might actually result in coverage. If it IS proven intentional, that's a different road entirely.

  • 18
    cool-crow-748

    A couple of things that matter here: (1) your state of legal residence could affect how liability is determined, so make sure whoever you talk to knows where you're domiciled, not just where the incident happened. (2) Document everything — every text, every call log, anything that shows this was intentional and that you were not present or involved. That paper trail will matter if this goes further.

  • 6
    candid-wren-805

    I just want to say — you did nothing wrong. You tried to do the right thing by putting her on your policy before you left. The fact that she chose to do something like this is on her, not you. I really hope you're able to get some support over there and that this gets resolved without ruining you financially. You don't deserve this.

    • 6
      calm-survivor126

      Appreciate the detailed write-up. Saving this for later.