I was driving when we crashed and I can't stop blaming myself even though everyone lived

Two things. First, staying in your apartment isn't helping you process this, it's helping you marinate in it. Even a short walk does something. Second, if the insurance stuff is genuinely confusing you, talk to a PI attorney — most do free consults and they can at least explain what's happening and what to watch out for. You don't have to be in some huge lawsuit to benefit from 20 minutes of clarity.

I don't mean this harshly — just genuinely asking — have you actually talked to your friends directly about how you're feeling? Not just them reassuring you over text, but a real conversation? Sometimes the guilt loop stays stuck because we never actually hear the other person's full perspective. Might be worth trying before assuming you know how they really feel.

I was the driver when my sister and I got rear-ended hard enough to spin us into oncoming traffic. She had whiplash for months. I know that accident wasn't my fault and I still spent weeks convinced I should have somehow magically prevented it. What you're describing — the replay loop, not leaving the house — I lived that. It does lift, I promise, but it takes longer than people expect.

What you're describing sounds a lot like an acute stress response, which is incredibly common after traumatic events — and yes, being in a crash is traumatic even if you're the one who walked away without a scratch. The guilt, the replaying, the not wanting to leave your space — those are your nervous system trying to process something overwhelming. If it's still this intense in another week or two, it might be worth talking to someone, even just a few sessions. You don't have to be 'falling apart' to deserve support.

For the insurance confusion — keep a simple running document of every call you make: date, time, who you spoke to, what they said. Screenshot every email. It sounds tedious but it genuinely saves headaches later, especially if your friend's shoulder injury turns into something that needs ongoing treatment. You want a clear paper trail of when everything was reported and what was communicated.

Please be gentle with yourself right now. You got everyone home alive. That matters more than you're letting yourself feel at this moment. 💙

On the insurance side — please be careful what you say in recorded statements. Adjusters are trained to get you talking when you're emotional, and guilt can make people say things that get used against them later. You didn't mention fault details here but just... don't volunteer anything beyond the basics until you understand the full picture.