The Shoulder
The Shoulder
58
Insurancebold-badger-676

Driver who hit me is now asking me to lie to insurance — do I save these messages?

So this happened a few days ago and I'm still kind of in shock that someone would even ask this.

I was stopped at a red light when I got hit from behind pretty hard. We pulled over, exchanged info, seemed fine. Then last night I get a voice note and a follow-up text from the other driver basically asking me to "keep things between us" and tell our insurers the accident happened differently than it did — like, change the whole story about how the impact occurred so they'd be less at fault.

I did not respond. I just stared at my phone.

I have soft tissue stuff going on in my neck and shoulders and I went to urgent care the same day. There's a police report. There are photos. The actual facts are pretty clear.

My questions are: 1. Should I forward these messages to my insurance company when I talk to them? 2. Could agreeing to something like this — even just saying "okay" over text — actually get ME in trouble even if I never intended to follow through? 3. Is there anything else I should be doing right now to protect myself?

I genuinely feel bad for the person because I assume they're scared about their rates or something, but I'm not going to lie. I just want to handle this the right way and not accidentally create problems for myself by ignoring the messages or responding wrong.

Any advice from people who've been through something messy like this would mean a lot right now.

11replies

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11 replies

  • 19
    mellow-stoat-334

    I worked claims for years. When something like this comes up and one party has documented evidence that the other asked them to falsify a statement, it very strongly establishes who's acting in good faith. Hand those messages over. It actually helps your claim more than you might realize — it shows you're the cooperative, honest party. Adjusters notice that.

    • 3
      quiet-commuter660

      Really glad you posted an update — gives the rest of us some hope.

  • 18
    quick-badger-317

    Something similar happened to a family member of mine — the other driver tried to "work it out" off the books after the fact. My family member felt guilty saying no but ultimately reported everything. It was absolutely the right call. You got hurt. Your neck and shoulders are real injuries. Don't absorb someone else's consequences on top of that.

    • 7
      thankful-late-shift164

      Did the timeline change anything for you? Mine dragged on for weeks.

  • 17
    steady-fox-783

    Screenshot everything immediately. Voice note, texts, timestamps, all of it. Back it up somewhere you won't lose it. Yes, absolutely give it to your insurance company — don't editorialize, just say "I received these messages after the accident and wanted to make sure you had them." You're not accusing anyone of anything, you're documenting. That's your job right now.

    • 7
      candid-swift-683

      Not legal advice, but what you're describing is someone asking you to participate in insurance fraud. You have zero obligation to protect them from that, and honestly, keeping those messages and disclosing them to your insurer is exactly the right move. Do NOT respond to the other driver at all going forward — silence is your friend here. Anything you text back, even something sympathetic, could get twisted later.

  • 16
    calm-badger-906

    Also heads up — even if YOU do everything right, be careful that the other driver doesn't get ahead of you by calling their insurer first with some alternate version of events. Get your recorded statement in early, stick to the facts, and let the documentation speak for itself. Don't assume honesty wins automatically without you actively protecting your own account.

  • 12
    spry-fox-038

    Please keep following up on the soft tissue injuries even if they feel manageable right now. Neck and shoulder stuff from rear-end impacts can genuinely worsen over the first week or two as inflammation sets in. Keep a simple log — just notes on your phone about how you feel each day, what hurts, how it affects sleep or work. That record matters more than people realize later on.

  • 12
    hearty-stoat-921

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this on top of actual physical pain. It's such a violation to be hit AND then get pressured to cover for the person who hit you. You sound like a genuinely decent person for even thinking about their situation, but please put yourself first here. You owe them nothing.

    • 1
      curious-rider680

      Did you have to escalate, or did they come around after the first ask?

  • 9
    bold-badger-555

    To answer your second question specifically — no, just receiving that message doesn't put you at risk. You haven't agreed to anything. But if you were to respond in a way that could be read as "going along with it," even vaguely, that gets complicated fast. Radio silence toward the other driver from here on out is the safest play. Route all communication through your insurer.