The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Insurancespry-sparrow-281

Driver's mom wants me to lie to insurance — says her kid wasn't on the policy. What do I do??

So this happened a few nights ago and I'm still kind of in shock about the whole thing.

I was parked on my street, completely off, nobody in the car. Woke up in the morning to find my whole rear quarter panel smashed in. A neighbor knocked on my door and told me they saw a teenager lose control and clip my car, then just... drive off. Fortunately another neighbor actually got the plate number.

I filed a police report, and eventually the family tracked me down through the neighborhood. The mom showed up at my door, super apologetic, gave me her insurance info. Her kid is apparently only 17 and was driving without her knowledge in the middle of the night.

Here's where it gets messy. She called me back a few hours later and basically begged me to tell the insurance company that SHE was the one driving — not her son. She said he's not listed on her policy and she's scared the claim will get denied. She seemed genuinely stressed and I felt bad for her, but also... she's asking me to commit fraud?

I already gave a statement to the police that specifically named the son as the driver based on my neighbor's account. So now I'm supposed to just contradict that?

I don't want to be cruel to this family but my car has serious damage and I need it fixed. And I definitely don't want to do something illegal or get myself in trouble.

Has anyone dealt with anything like this? What actually happens when the driver isn't on the policy — does that automatically mean nothing gets covered? And what should I say to her?

15replies

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15 replies

  • 19
    spry-seal-535

    Just so you know, what she's describing is called material misrepresentation to an insurer, and asking you to participate makes you potentially liable too. Keep all her messages where she asked you to do this — screenshot everything, don't delete anything. If this ever escalates, those messages could be really important. Also, your own insurer can potentially go after hers through subrogation even if her coverage gets complicated, so talk to your own insurance company about your options.

    • 2
      patient-passenger379

      Thanks for sharing. Hope things are getting a little easier for you.

    • 1
      mellow-sidewalk807

      Saving this whole thread. Really appreciate the honesty here.

  • 16
    steady-stoat-017

    Do NOT do it. Full stop. What she's asking you to do is insurance fraud, and if it ever comes out — and these things have a way of coming out — YOU could be on the hook too, not just her. You already gave a truthful police report. Stick to it. Her insurance situation is her problem to solve, not yours.

    • 0
      gentle-dreamer211

      Curious whether you did this on your own or had help with it.

  • 12
    brave-grouse-838

    I used to work claims and honestly this comes up more than people realize with teen drivers. Here's the thing — just because a kid isn't listed on a policy doesn't automatically mean there's zero coverage. A lot of policies have provisions for permissive use or resident relatives. The insurer will investigate regardless. If you change your story and it conflicts with the police report, that's a massive red flag that could blow up the whole claim for everyone, including you getting your car fixed. Don't touch that request with a ten-foot pole.

    • 1
      calm-traveler449

      Curious whether you did this on your own or had help with it.

  • 11
    plain-elk-049

    I get why you feel bad — she came to you personally, she apologized, she seems like she's in a tough spot. But she's essentially asking you to risk your own legal standing to bail out a situation she created by not having her kid properly covered. That's not fair to you at all. You seem like a kind person. Just... protect yourself here.

    • 4
      steady-optimist797

      Thanks for sharing. Hope things are getting a little easier for you.

  • 10
    plain-stoat-377

    Not legal advice, but participating in a fraudulent insurance statement — even at someone else's request — can expose you to civil and potentially criminal liability depending on your state. You have zero obligation to help her manage her policy gaps. Document her request, keep your original account consistent, and let your own insurer advocate for you. That's what they're there for.

    • 4
      hopeful-traveler285

      Thanks for sharing. Hope things are getting a little easier for you.

  • 7
    clever-marmot-925

    Even if you wanted to help her, think about this from a purely selfish angle — if you lie and the claim gets flagged or denied anyway, where does that leave you? You've now given a false statement AND your car still isn't fixed. You'd have tanked your own credibility for nothing.

    • 5
      genuine-wren-175

      Nobody was hurt this time which is great, but I'd also gently say — the stress of a situation like this is real. Don't let guilt about this family's circumstances pressure you into a decision that protects them at your expense. You're the victim here.

    • 7
      patient-commuter410

      How long did it end up taking in your case?

  • 5
    daring-wolf-197

    Almost the exact same thing happened to a friend of mine — unlisted driver, parent came asking for a 'favor.' My friend felt terrible saying no because the family was clearly struggling. But she said no, filed everything correctly, and it actually still got sorted out through the insurance. The coverage question is between that family and their insurer. It's not your job to fix it for them.