The Shoulder
The Shoulder
73
hearty-beaver-956

Crashed with my best friend in the car. She got hurt bad. I can't stop shaking.

I don't even know why I'm posting this. Maybe I just need strangers to talk to because everyone in my life is either too upset or too busy trying to 'handle things' to actually sit with me.

Two nights ago I was driving home from dropping someone off. My best friend was with me — we always ride together late, it's just our thing. The road was wet and I was going faster than I probably should have been. Hit a curve I've driven a hundred times, lost control completely, and we went off the road into a ditch and hit an embankment hard enough to spin the car around.

I walked away with scratches and a bruised collarbone. My friend wasn't so lucky. She's in the hospital right now with a concussion and a broken wrist and they're still monitoring her for other stuff. Her parents are being kind to me and that almost makes it worse.

My car is completely done. That part honestly doesn't matter to me at all right now.

I keep replaying those few seconds over and over. The sound. The way everything went sideways so fast. I remember screaming her name after we stopped moving and not getting an answer for what felt like forever.

I'm not sure what I'm even asking here. I guess — does the guilt ever get better? And practically speaking, I'm her driver so does this mean my insurance has to cover her medical bills? My parents are talking about calling a lawyer but I don't know if that's for me or for her or what any of it means.

16replies

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16 replies

  • 19
    swift-marmot-179

    Please be really careful about what you say to any insurance adjuster — yours or hers. They will call soon if they haven't already and they are recording everything. 'I was going too fast' said casually on a recorded line can haunt you. Just say you're still gathering information and you'll follow up. I'm not trying to scare you, I just wish someone had told me that before my accident.

    • 7
      patient-rider965

      This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you.

  • 15
    swift-lynx-460

    To answer your practical question — when a passenger gets injured in your car, your auto liability coverage is generally what would apply to her medical costs, yes. But the specifics depend on your policy limits, whether her own health insurance pays first, and your state's rules. When your parents say 'call a lawyer,' they might mean a lawyer for YOU to understand your exposure, not just for her. That's actually smart. It doesn't mean anyone is suing anyone — it just means someone's looking out for your interests while everything gets sorted out. Not legal advice, just context.

  • 14
    tidy-stoat-742

    Can I ask — are YOU getting checked out medically? A bruised collarbone from an impact that hard needs imaging to rule out a fracture or anything else. And concussion symptoms in yourself can be delayed by adrenaline — headaches, fuzzy thinking, nausea showing up 24-48 hours later. Please don't skip your own care because you're focused on your friend. You matter too.

    • 1
      calm-driver335

      Going through something similar right now. Did following up actually move the needle for you?

    • 4
      thankful-sidewalk791

      Adding this: keep copies of every email. It mattered for me.

  • 14
    kind-seal-806

    She's alive, she's being monitored, her parents are being kind to you. I know the guilt is overwhelming right now but you also got her out of that situation. You stayed present enough to do what needed to be done. That matters.

  • 12
    sharp-badger-885

    Former claims adjuster here. When a passenger is injured in your vehicle, expect the process to move faster than a typical two-car accident because liability is usually less disputed — the question becomes about coverage limits and medical bills. Her parents being cooperative now doesn't mean the insurance companies won't have friction later. If her bills exceed your liability limits, things can get complicated quickly. That's the scenario your parents are probably worried about, and why talking to someone who knows your policy inside and out matters sooner rather than later.

  • 10
    brave-sparrow-489

    The shaking doesn't go away for a while, I won't lie to you. I had a bad crash a couple years ago and I kept waking up in the middle of the night hitting an imaginary brake pedal. It does get quieter eventually. You're in the acute shock phase right now and everything feels impossible. Be gentle with yourself.

    • 2
      careful-driver555

      Did you have to escalate, or did they come around after the first ask?

  • 10
    kind-raven-538

    Guilt question and practical question are two separate things and you should handle them separately. For the guilt: therapy, genuinely, not a cliché — one session with someone who handles trauma can do more than weeks of replaying it in your head. For the practical: let your parents handle the insurance and lawyer stuff right now. Your only job this week is to rest, get checked out medically, and maybe write down everything you remember about the accident while it's fresh — for your own record, not to post anywhere.

  • 10
    patient-fox-867

    I don't want to pile on but I do want to ask gently — has anyone talked to you about what actually happened mechanically? Like did the car have any issues, were the tires worn, was there a road hazard that contributed? I ask because sometimes there are factors beyond just speed that affect how liability and insurance play out, and I'd hate for you to carry 100% of the blame in your head if the situation was more complicated than that.

    • 1
      patient-dreamer509

      That lines up with what my adjuster told me too.

  • 7
    plain-otter-217

    I'll keep this short — not legal advice, but: do not post detailed accounts of the accident on social media, do not give recorded statements without understanding what you're agreeing to, and document your own injuries now with photos and a doctor visit even if they seem minor. Your parents' instinct to involve a lawyer early is sound. Early guidance usually protects everyone better than waiting until something goes sideways.

    • 9
      calm-commuter716

      Solid advice. Getting it in writing is the part most people skip.

  • 6
    quiet-marten-226

    I just want to say that I'm so glad you're both alive. The fact that her parents are being kind to you says a lot — they clearly don't blame you the way you're blaming yourself. Please don't carry this alone.