The Shoulder
The Shoulder
57
calm-newt-470

My cousin drove drunk with me in the car and now I can't stop shaking — what do I even do?

I still can't really process what happened two days ago. My cousin picked me up from a party and I had no idea he'd been drinking that much — by the time I realized something was wrong we were already on the highway. He was weaving between lanes and I was screaming at him to pull over. He clipped a concrete barrier and we spun out into the shoulder. Airbags went off. I hit my head on the side window hard enough that I had to go to urgent care, and they told me I have a mild concussion plus a pretty deep gash above my eyebrow that needed stitches. My neck has been killing me since.

He walked away with a bruised hand. He's been blowing up my phone apologizing and I genuinely don't know how to feel about that. Part of me loves him, part of me is furious.

The bigger thing I'm struggling with right now is that I can't get in a car without my heart going crazy. My roommate drove me to the pharmacy yesterday and I was white-knuckling the grab handle the whole time. I keep replaying the sound of the impact.

I've also got questions I don't know who to ask:

  • Do I have any claim against his insurance even though he's family?
  • Should I have seen a doctor beyond urgent care, like an actual neurologist for the concussion?
  • Is it normal to feel this emotionally wrecked days later?

I feel embarrassed and confused and I just needed somewhere to put this.

12replies

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12 replies

  • 24
    quiet-wren-512

    Please don't skip follow-up care for the concussion. Urgent care is great for initial triage but a mild concussion diagnosis really warrants a visit to a neurologist or at minimum your primary care doctor within the next few days. Symptoms can evolve — headaches, light sensitivity, mood changes, trouble sleeping — and you want those documented properly. That documentation also matters if you end up dealing with any kind of insurance claim later. The neck pain especially shouldn't be ignored; whiplash from an impact like that can linger for months if you don't start addressing it early.

    • 11
      hearty-vole-661

      I used to work claims and I'll tell you honestly — when it's a family member situation, insurers sometimes count on the injured person feeling too awkward or guilty to push back. Don't let that happen. You have medical bills, you have documented injuries, and you have a legitimate claim. The relationship between you and the driver is your personal business; the insurance policy exists precisely for moments like this.

  • 18
    wise-heron-960

    I just want to say I'm really glad you're okay. Like physically here and okay. Please be gentle with yourself right now — you went through something genuinely scary and your body and brain need time to catch up. Don't rush back to normal.

    • 17
      bold-finch-778

      Not legal advice, but what you're describing — passenger injured due to an impaired driver — is exactly the kind of situation personal injury attorneys handle regularly. Most offer free consultations and work on contingency, meaning no upfront cost. It might be worth at least one conversation so you understand your options before you talk to any insurance adjuster. The family relationship complicates the emotions but generally not the legal picture.

  • 12
    tidy-tern-384

    I was in almost this exact situation a few years back — passenger in a car where the driver made a terrible decision. The guilt and confusion you feel even when you're the one who got hurt is so real and so weird. You didn't do anything wrong. And yes, the shaking and replaying it over and over is totally normal right after something like this. It took me a couple of weeks before I could sit in a passenger seat without gripping something.

    • 10
      weary-survivor846

      Wish I had seen this a month ago — would have saved me a lot of stress.

  • 12
    spry-grouse-674

    I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you walked away. The anxiety in cars will get better — especially if you talk to someone about it, even just a few sessions with a therapist who does trauma stuff. A lot of people find that the fear peaks in the first couple weeks and then slowly settles. You're not broken, you're just responding like a human who went through something really frightening.

  • 10
    quiet-badger-071

    Whatever you do, don't give a recorded statement to any insurance company — his OR yours — until you understand your rights. Adjusters are trained to get you to minimize your injuries, especially in those first few days when you're still in shock and might say something like 'I'm okay, just a little sore.' Those words can follow you through the whole claim.

    • 6
      grounded-overpass655

      Exactly my experience. Persistence paid off in the end.

  • 9
    quick-newt-327

    To answer your question directly: yes, you can typically make a claim against your cousin's auto liability insurance even as a family member. The insurance covers the vehicle and the driver's negligence — your relationship to him doesn't disqualify you. What matters is that you were an injured passenger. Keep every receipt, every medical record, every pharmacy trip. Even write down your symptoms in a notes app each day — dates and details matter more than people realize once things get into the claims process.

  • 9
    brave-marmot-412

    Three things: see a real doctor about that concussion this week, take photos of every bruise and the stitches before they heal, and don't post anything about this on social media. Those are the three most practical things you can do right now. Everything else can wait until you're feeling more stable.

    • 6
      weary-commuter383

      Wish I had seen this a month ago — would have saved me a lot of stress.