At-fault driver's insurance is trying to make ME deal with the salvage auction — is that even legal?

Oh my gosh, YES. I went through almost this exact thing last year. The other driver's insurance kept using this "our policy" language like that somehow made it legally binding on me. It's not. You never agreed to their policy — you're not their customer. I pushed back hard and eventually they caved on the salvage issue. Don't let them bully you into doing their job for you.

This is a classic adjuster pressure tactic. They use the word "policy" to make it sound official, but their internal company policy has zero authority over you as a third-party claimant. You have no contract with them whatsoever. The moment you start coordinating that auction, you've implicitly accepted their terms. Don't touch it. Don't call the auction house. Don't sign anything.

I used to work in total loss and I'll be honest — some carriers really do try to push owner-retained on third-party claimants because it saves them money on the back end. The deduction they take for the salvage value is often higher than what the auction actually brings in, so they pocket the difference. You're essentially subsidizing their profit margin on the salvage. You are NOT obligated to participate in this. Ask them to put their "policy" in writing and cite the specific regulation that requires you to comply. They won't be able to.

On the storage fees — this is a really important detail. Most states have rules (and some have specific regulations) about how storage liability gets assigned in a total loss situation. Generally speaking, once an insurer accepts liability and issues a total loss determination, they become responsible for reasonable storage costs from that point forward — especially when THEY chose the tow company and the lot. The fact that you haven't agreed to a settlement yet actually works in your favor here. Document every day and every call from that lot. Not legal advice, just things worth knowing.

Not legal advice, but I'd gently suggest that the "their policy" framing is something you should push back on in writing — via email specifically. If you can get them to put their position in writing, that becomes useful later. On the registration proration question: depending on your state, that's sometimes a recoverable item in a total loss claim. Worth asking about explicitly and not letting them just skip over it. A free consult with a PI attorney who handles total loss disputes could clarify your leverage pretty quickly.

Stop calling the adjuster and start emailing. Everything in writing from here on out. Say clearly: "I do not consent to owner-retained salvage. I expect you to handle title and salvage disposition as the at-fault party's insurer." Short, direct, documented. If they stonewall you, that paper trail matters.

I just want to check — are you doing okay physically? Sometimes people get so caught up in the insurance battle (understandably!) that they don't fully address their own injuries. Even if you feel fine now, some things show up days or weeks later. Make sure you've been seen by a doctor and that any symptoms are documented, separate from all this total loss drama.

Quick question — did you ever sign anything when the tow truck came or when the car was dropped at the lot? Sometimes people unknowingly sign a form that includes language about salvage handling. Not saying you did, just worth double-checking before you go full scorched-earth with the insurer.

This sounds so exhausting and stressful, I'm sorry you're dealing with it on top of everything else from the accident. You clearly didn't do anything wrong and you shouldn't have to fight this hard. Please don't let them wear you down — their whole strategy is to make it so annoying that you just give in.