The Shoulder
The Shoulder
56
Car accidentsbright-owl-816

Anyone else develop a crippling fear of driving after their accident? I can't even be a passenger

It's been about six weeks since I was in a pretty bad rear-end collision on the interstate. The other driver hit me at full highway speed while I was basically at a standstill in traffic. My car got pushed into the car in front of me. Airbags went off, I ended up with a strained neck and some soft tissue stuff in my back, but physically I'm mostly okay now.

Here's the thing nobody warned me about — I am terrified of cars now. Like, genuinely can't function around them the way I used to.

Last weekend I had to get a ride with my sister to pick up a prescription. Normal surface streets, middle of the afternoon, no traffic. I white-knuckled the door handle the whole way, kept involuntarily stomping an invisible brake pedal, and by the time we pulled into the pharmacy parking lot I was shaking and fighting back tears. She didn't know what to say.

I've also been having these flashback moments while I'm trying to fall asleep where I hear the screech and feel the impact all over again. It's not every night but it's often enough that I dread bedtime.

The practical problem is I need to drive. I just started a new job that's a 25-minute commute on the highway. I've been making excuses and bumming rides but that can't go on forever. My boss is going to start asking questions.

I don't really know what I'm looking for here — maybe just to hear that other people went through this and eventually got to the other side of it? Did it get better on its own or did you have to actually do something about it? I feel kind of embarrassed that the "invisible" stuff is hitting me harder than the physical injuries did.

11replies

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11 replies

  • 12
    clear-seal-706

    I could have written this post myself about eight months ago. I was t-boned at an intersection and walked away with bruised ribs, but the anxiety afterward was honestly the worst part of the whole experience. What eventually helped me was doing really short, low-stakes drives on my own — like, literally just around my neighborhood block — and slowly building back up. It took a couple months but I'm back to highway driving now. Be patient with yourself, you're not broken.

    • 7
      gentle-walker538

      This is really helpful — thank you for posting it.

  • 14
    wise-dove-683

    What you're describing — the flashbacks, the physical anxiety response in the car, the sleep disruptions — those are classic signs of acute stress response, and it can absolutely develop into PTSD if it goes unaddressed. Please don't dismiss this as "just nerves." It's a real physiological thing happening in your brain after a trauma. A lot of people don't realize that accident survivors qualify for PTSD treatment just like combat veterans do. Talking to your primary care doctor is a solid first step — they can refer you to someone who does trauma-focused therapy, and there are specific techniques (EMDR is one) that have really good track records for exactly this kind of thing.

    • 19
      quiet-elk-162

      The fact that you recognize what's happening and you're already talking about it — even here, anonymously — is genuinely a good sign. A lot of people just white-knuckle through it alone for years and wonder why they feel off. You're already ahead of where I was.

  • 4
    wise-marmot-985

    Please don't feel embarrassed about this. The "invisible" injuries are so real and people don't talk about them enough. Sending you a lot of support 💙

  • 9
    curious-swan-830

    Not legal advice, but I'll mention this because a lot of people don't know: the anxiety and psychological trauma you're describing can be part of a personal injury claim, not just the physical injuries. Things like therapy costs, and the impact on your ability to work and live your daily life, are legitimate damages. If you haven't spoken to anyone about the legal side of your accident yet, it might be worth at least a conversation. Just something to keep in mind.

  • 8
    quiet-stoat-509

    Two things: (1) see a therapist who specializes in trauma, full stop, don't wait on this. (2) document everything — journal your symptoms, save your therapy receipts, write down how this is affecting your job. Whether or not you pursue anything legal, having that record protects you.

    • 3
      soft-spoken-overpass949

      Adding this: keep copies of every email. It mattered for me.

  • 11
    plain-hare-456

    One thing I'd be careful about — if you're still dealing with the other driver's insurance company, be really guarded about what you tell them regarding how you're feeling. Adjusters will sometimes use statements like "I'm doing better" or "I just have some anxiety" to minimize your claim before you even understand the full scope of what you're dealing with psychologically. Don't give recorded statements without understanding your rights first.

    • 9
      weary-survivor731

      Thanks for sharing. Hope things are getting a little easier for you.

  • 7
    daring-marmot-157

    How long did the physical symptoms last after the accident? I ask because sometimes ongoing physical discomfort feeds the anxiety loop — your body is still in a guarded state and your brain reads every car ride as a threat. If the physical stuff has fully resolved and the fear is still this intense six weeks out, that does lean more toward something that needs dedicated attention rather than just time.