The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Car accidentsspry-lynx-020

Almost a year out from a wrong-way DUI crash, first surgery done. Has anyone been through the long haul?

Long post, sorry in advance. I'm 28 and my brother (26) was riding with me when a driver going the wrong way on a divided highway plowed into us around 11 months ago. Cops found open containers everywhere in the other car, the driver blew well over the limit roadside, and was charged with DUI and vehicular assault on the spot. We were stuck waiting at the scene for hours in the middle of summer — both of us run our own small businesses and had equipment and work materials in the back that got cooked sitting in the heat while everything got sorted out.

I came out worse than my brother injury-wise. Here's where I'm at:

  • Right knee: confirmed meniscus tear + some cartilage damage. Had my first surgery on it yesterday. Supposed to be a two-surgery situation, possibly three depending on how this one heals.
  • Left shoulder: partial rotator cuff tear, still doing PT but my ortho is already floating the idea of a procedure if I plateau.
  • Both hands/forearms: I get this weird tingling and numbness that comes and goes. Neurologist is still working through it.
  • Mental health: Officially diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety. I flinch at literally every car that changes lanes near me. Driving on the highway feels impossible some days.

I have an attorney and I'm not here for legal advice — genuinely not. I just want to hear from people who've actually lived through something this drawn out. The insurance company on the other side has already tried lowballing us once. My lawyer shut it down but it still rattled me.

How do you stay sane when your whole life is basically paused waiting for your body to figure out what it's doing? Anyone who's been through multiple surgeries from one crash — what did the timeline actually look like for you?

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13 replies

  • 21
    clever-elk-235

    Honestly, I'll tell you what I saw from the inside — files with multiple surgeries and an ongoing neuro workup made adjusters nervous. Not because they care about you, but because the uncertainty makes it hard to close the file cheaply. The fact that your treatment isn't done yet is actually significant. A good attorney will make sure nothing settles before your doctors can give a realistic long-term picture. The other side knows that too, which is probably why they jumped early with a lowball.

  • 19
    calm-grouse-669

    Don't even think about talking to the other side's insurance directly, not even a friendly call. Everything goes through your attorney. And seriously — if you ever feel like your lawyer isn't communicating enough, ask for a case update in writing. You're entitled to know what's happening with your own case.

  • 17
    cool-hare-625

    A couple of things worth making sure you're doing if you haven't already: keep a daily or weekly journal logging pain levels, how your mental health is, what activities you can't do that you used to, and any days you had to cancel work because of your injuries. Stuff like lost income and reduced capacity is a lot easier to show when there's a consistent contemporaneous record rather than trying to reconstruct it later. Also make sure your attorney has everything related to the lost equipment from the crash — that's a real damages item people sometimes forget to document properly.

    • 19
      calm-swan-646

      Not legal advice, but I'll say this generally: cases involving documented DUI, multiple confirmed injuries, and ongoing surgical treatment tend to look very different at resolution than they do when the first lowball lands. The gap between that first offer and where things actually end up can be significant. The most important thing you can do right now is follow all your medical recommendations and let your treatment run its full course before anyone is talking final numbers. Hang in there.

    • 4
      quiet-optimist651

      Did you have to escalate, or did they come around after the first ask?

  • 13
    bold-hare-887

    I can't imagine going through all of this AND trying to keep a business running. Please give yourself permission to not be okay right now. The PTSD stuff especially — that's real and it compounds everything. I hope you have people around you who are actually showing up.

    • 4
      soft-spoken-late-shift917

      Did the timeline change anything for you? Mine dragged on for weeks.

  • 12
    steady-seal-207

    The numbness and tingling in both arms is worth staying really on top of. Neurological symptoms after a high-impact collision can sometimes be slow to fully show up on imaging, so don't let anyone dismiss it just because the first scan looked okay. If your neurologist isn't being aggressive about follow-up, it's completely reasonable to push for it. Also — after your knee surgery, don't rush the PT timeline even if you feel okay. Cartilage stuff is deceptive.

    • 13
      calm-stoat-965

      That lowball offer so early? Classic. They do that to see if you're desperate enough to take it before you even know the full extent of what you're dealing with. Good on your attorney for shutting it down. Just don't be surprised if they try again right around when your first surgery is healing and it looks like you might be 'getting better.' They love that window.

  • 11
    clear-wren-506

    Multiple surgeries from one crash here — it took me almost two full years before my doctors would even say I'd reached maximum medical improvement. The waiting is genuinely the hardest part. Every time I thought I was done, something else popped up. Just keep documenting everything, every appointment, every bad day, every medication change. It adds up in ways you don't realize until later.

    • 8
      tired-optimist444

      Seconding this. The same approach worked for me last year.

  • 5
    gentle-fox-812

    I know it probably doesn't feel like it right now, but the fact that the DUI charges are on the record, there were witnesses, and your lawyer is already fighting for you — that's a stronger position than a lot of people are in when they come here. You're not starting from nothing, even though it feels like everything is on hold.

  • 5
    calm-swan-753

    What's the status of the criminal case against the driver? Has that moved at all? I'm curious because sometimes the criminal proceedings and the civil side interact in ways people don't expect — like if there's a plea deal in the works or the driver is fighting the charges, that can affect timing on your end.