The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Insurancecalm-bison-792

Adjuster told the other driver's family I was at fault — while we were still at the scene

I'm still kind of in shock about this so bear with me.

Two weeks ago I got hit by a driver who ran a red light and clipped my front end, spinning me into a curb. It was clear-cut. There was a traffic cam on that intersection, two people on the sidewalk who saw the whole thing, and the responding officer noted in his preliminary report that the other driver failed to yield.

Here's the part that made my jaw drop.

While I'm literally standing on the sidewalk waiting for the tow truck, I can hear the at-fault driver on the phone with her insurance company. Full speakerphone. Her teenage kid was standing right next to me and had no idea I could hear every word. The rep on the line — before any report was filed, before anyone had looked at anything — told her something along the lines of "it sounds like the other driver may share responsibility here."

I grabbed my phone and started recording. Got most of it.

Since then:

  • They've been dragging their feet on liability
  • Sent me a letter with a "response deadline" that my neighbor (a retired paralegal) says has no actual legal standing
  • Denied my rental request twice citing "pending investigation"
  • Haven't returned two calls in the last five days

I've been documenting everything — saving voicemails, screenshotting emails with timestamps, keeping a written log.

I'm not a lawyer. I'm just a regular person who got hit by someone who ran a red light and now I'm being gaslit by an insurance company.

Has anyone dealt with an adjuster who seemed to make up their mind before doing any actual investigating? What did you do? Did filing a complaint with your state's insurance commissioner actually help, or is that just symbolic?

Any real experiences would mean a lot right now.

15replies

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15 replies

  • 20
    silent-crow-101

    How clear is the audio on that recording? Like, can you actually make out what the rep said, or is it ambient noise with a voice in the background? Asking because there's a difference between "adjuster said something suggestive" and "clearly audible statement of fault determination before investigation" — the latter is a lot more useful. Also do you know yet if your state is one-party or two-party consent for recording? Worth confirming before you lean on it too hard.

  • 19
    humble-heron-468

    File the DOI complaint this week, not eventually — this week. Send your next communication to the insurer via certified mail so you have proof of receipt. Stop calling; calls are too easy for them to ignore or misrepresent. Paper trail everything from here on. And seriously, at least one free consult with a PI lawyer — you have more leverage than you probably realize right now.

    • 3
      hopeful-walker473

      Seconding this. The same approach worked for me last year.

  • 20
    quick-sparrow-396

    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. You did nothing wrong and you're still the one stuck fighting. The fact that you kept your head enough to start recording while you were standing on a sidewalk after an accident honestly says a lot. Rooting for you.

    • 0
      weary-driver270

      Same boat here. Did anyone mention a deadline to watch out for?

  • 14
    kind-dove-766

    Please don't let the insurance stress make you skip or delay any medical follow-up. I see it all the time — people are so consumed with the claims fight that they ignore symptoms that quietly get worse. Even if you feel mostly okay, whiplash and soft tissue stuff can take days or weeks to fully show up. Get checked out and make sure everything is documented medically, because gaps in your care record can be used against you later.

    • 7
      honest-walker516

      This is really helpful — thank you for posting it.

  • 21
    hearty-sparrow-854

    Not legal advice, and I don't know your state's specific laws — but what you're describing (a recorded statement of fault determination before any investigation, combined with documented delays and denial of reasonable accommodations) is exactly the kind of pattern that bad faith insurance claims are built on. The recording is a significant piece of evidence. I'd strongly suggest at least a free consultation with a PI attorney before you do much more on your own — many work on contingency so there's no upfront cost. Just my general take.

  • 22
    plain-newt-434

    A few things worth knowing — not legal advice, just process stuff. Filing a complaint with your state's Department of Insurance is NOT just symbolic. Insurers are regulated entities and a formal complaint creates a paper trail they have to respond to on record. It also sometimes triggers a supervisor review internally. Second, if there's a traffic cam, you or an attorney may want to formally request that footage be preserved quickly — some systems overwrite after 30 days. Third, your written log is gold. Keep dating every entry.

    • 1
      honest-walker376

      That lines up with what my adjuster told me too.

  • 5
    tidy-swift-621

    Those fake deadlines they send are a pressure tactic, full stop. They want you flustered and rushing into a low offer. The "pending investigation" rental denial is also a classic stall — they're hoping your life inconvenience will make you settle for less just to end the headache. Do not let the deadline letter stress you out. It almost certainly means nothing legally.

    • 3
      soft-spoken-backseat570

      Exactly my experience. Persistence paid off in the end.

  • 14
    patient-crow-920

    I worked in claims for about six years and I'll be honest with you — what you heard on that call is not unusual. Reps sometimes start framing comparative fault immediately as a cost-control reflex, especially on calls they don't think will be recorded. The fact that you have audio of that is genuinely significant. Keep that file somewhere safe and backed up in at least two places. That's not normal customer service noise — that's potentially provable pre-decisional bias, which matters a lot if this escalates.

  • 19
    wise-mole-013

    This is almost word for word what happened to me last year. The adjuster had clearly already picked a side before she ever called me. What finally moved things was when I sent a certified letter directly to the claims supervisor — not the adjuster — laying out the timeline and explicitly mentioning I was aware of my state's bad faith insurance statutes. Things got a lot less quiet after that.

    • 3
      patient-rider460

      Appreciate the detailed write-up. Saving this for later.