The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Car accidentsquick-stoat-106

8 months post-crash, two surgeries later — anyone else riding the emotional rollercoaster?

Hey everyone. First time posting here but I've been lurking for a while and finally feel like I need to get some of this out somewhere people might actually get it.

Back in the spring I got hit by a driver who blew through a stop sign at a busy intersection. I'm 41 years old and had genuinely never broken anything in my life before that moment. That changed fast. I ended up with a shattered pelvis and a bad fracture just above my left ankle — both happened on impact when I got thrown sideways in the cabin.

I spent almost a month in the hospital and had surgery on both injuries. Then about six weeks ago I had to go back under for a second procedure on my pelvis because imaging kept showing debris floating around in the joint that was causing intense grinding pain and locking. Apparently they pulled out way more material than they originally expected. The relief after that second surgery was almost immediate — like someone finally turned the volume down on the pain after months of it screaming.

Here's the thing though. Some days I feel genuinely proud of myself. I walked to my mailbox yesterday without my crutches and almost cried. But then other days I look at how I move compared to before and I just... grieve. It doesn't look the way it used to. My gait is different. I get tired going up stairs.

I'm also dealing with the insurance side of things simultaneously, which is its own special nightmare. The at-fault driver had pretty minimal coverage and I honestly don't know how this is going to shake out financially with all the medical bills stacking up.

Has anyone else navigated both the physical AND the financial chaos at the same time? How did you cope? Did the emotional swings ever level out?

13replies

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13 replies

  • 16
    clever-beaver-563

    The emotional rollercoaster is SO real and I don't think people who haven't been through a serious crash truly understand it. I had a major leg injury two years ago and I remember crying in a parking lot because I couldn't walk to a store entrance without stopping to rest. Some days were victorious, some were crushing. What I can tell you is that the ratio genuinely does shift over time — the proud days start outnumbering the hard ones. You're only 8 months in with TWO surgeries. Be patient with yourself, seriously.

  • 16
    candid-raven-240

    What you're describing emotionally is completely textbook for this level of trauma — and I mean that in the most validating way possible. Pelvic and lower extremity fractures involving multiple surgeries often come with something clinicians call grief for prior function, which sounds fancy but basically means mourning who you were physically before the injury. It's real and it deserves real attention. If you're not already talking to someone — a therapist, even just a social worker through your care team — please consider it. The mental recovery is as important as the physical one. Also, changes in gait 8 months out are not necessarily permanent. PT can do a lot of work there still.

  • 12
    warm-raven-817

    I want to flag something you said about the at-fault driver having minimal coverage. Do NOT assume that's the end of the conversation with insurance. Check your own policy right now for underinsured motorist coverage (UIM). A lot of people don't even realize they have it or forget to use it. Adjusters are not going to remind you — that's not their job. If you have UIM, it can make a massive difference in a situation like yours where the bills are serious.

  • 7
    keen-grouse-688

    Seconding the UIM point above. I used to work on the claims side and you would not believe how many people with significant injuries just accepted the at-fault driver's policy limits and walked away without ever checking their own policy for underinsured coverage. With two surgeries and the ongoing recovery you're describing, the numbers could add up fast. Also — keep every single medical record, every EOB, every out-of-pocket receipt. Even parking at the hospital. All of it matters.

  • 9
    silent-dove-997

    From a practical standpoint, the combination of injuries you have — bilateral, multiple surgeries, extended recovery, documented functional changes like your gait — these are exactly the kinds of cases where getting a professional eye on things early matters. You mentioned financial uncertainty with the bills stacking up. A lot of PI attorneys do free consultations and work on contingency, meaning no money out of pocket to at least understand where you stand. Not pushing you toward anything, just saying you don't have to navigate the insurance piece alone and guessing whether you have a case.

  • 19
    hearty-mole-761

    Not legal advice, but I'll say this much: the timeline matters. Statutes of limitations on personal injury claims vary by state, and 8 months has already passed. That doesn't mean you're out of time, but it does mean you shouldn't wait indefinitely to at least have a conversation with someone who can evaluate your specific situation. The combination of documented surgeries, an at-fault driver with insufficient coverage, and ongoing functional impairment is something an attorney needs to actually look at — not something you should try to sort out yourself with an adjuster.

    • 7
      gentle-survivor545

      Going through something similar right now. Did following up actually move the needle for you?

  • 19
    keen-marten-185

    I just want to say — walking to your mailbox without crutches after everything you've been through is not a small thing. That's huge. Please don't let the hard days erase what you've actually accomplished. You've been through something genuinely terrible and you're still here, still moving, still fighting through it. That matters.

    • 9
      hopeful-survivor644

      How long did it end up taking in your case?

  • 14
    warm-tern-127

    Three things: 1) Get a PI attorney consult before you do anything else on the insurance side — you're dealing with low coverage and serious injuries, that's exactly when you need someone in your corner. 2) Push your PT team hard on the gait stuff, it's not something you just have to accept. 3) The emotional swings are normal but if they're getting dark, talk to someone. All three of those things can happen at the same time. Don't put any of them off.

    • 1
      gentle-dreamer475

      How long did it end up taking in your case?

    • 7
      plainspoken-backseat793

      Exactly my experience. Persistence paid off in the end.

  • 8
    clever-wren-834

    Eight months, two surgeries, a shattered pelvis, and you're walking to your mailbox unaided. I don't want to minimize the hard days because they're real — but from the outside looking in, that's a remarkable recovery. The grief about your gait being different makes total sense. AND you're still moving forward. Both things can be true.