The Shoulder
The Shoulder
71
Car accidentshearty-swift-412

7 months pregnant when I got T-boned. Baby's fine but I'm falling apart mentally

I don't even know how to start this so I'll just say it: my baby is okay. I want to lead with that because I know it's the first thing anyone will worry about reading this.

About a month ago I was driving home from a prenatal appointment — literally coming back from seeing my OB — when a guy ran a red light and hit me on the passenger side hard enough to push my car halfway through the intersection. I was 7 months along. The impact knocked the wind out of me and I couldn't breathe for what felt like forever. Bystanders called 911 before I could even reach my phone.

I spent two days in the hospital for observation. The baby was monitored constantly and she was a champ through the whole thing. I walked away with a separated shoulder, some bruising along my seatbelt line, and what the doctors called a mild concussion. Physically, I'm healing. My shoulder still aches at night and I can't lift my arm above my head, but okay, fine, that's manageable.

What I was NOT prepared for is what's happening in my head.

I've been jumpy at every intersection since I got home. I flinch at brake sounds. Last week I was riding in my sister's car and she stopped short for a dog in the road — totally normal stop — and I grabbed the door handle and started hyperventilating like we were about to crash. She had to pull over and sit with me for 20 minutes.

I've been trying to "stay strong" because I'm about to have a baby and everyone keeps telling me stress is bad for the pregnancy. But I think pretending I'm fine is making it worse.

Has anyone dealt with the mental side of a crash while also managing a pregnancy or some other huge life thing? How did you actually start to process it?

12replies

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12 replies

  • 20
    gentle-finch-040

    Not legal advice, but what you're describing — a clear liability situation with documented physical injury AND psychological aftermath during pregnancy — is exactly the kind of case where talking to a PI attorney before settling anything is worth your time. Most offer free consultations. Just don't sign releases. The full impact of what you've been through may not even be clear until after you've delivered and have more bandwidth to process it.

  • 16
    curious-hare-357

    What you're describing — the hyperventilating, the flinching, the intrusive physical reactions — those are really classic signs of acute stress response, which can absolutely tip into PTSD if it's not addressed. And being pregnant adds a whole other layer because your hormones are already doing a lot. Please bring this up with your OB at your next visit, not just the physical stuff. They can refer you to a perinatal mental health specialist who deals with exactly this. You don't have to white-knuckle through the next two months.

    • 19
      spry-bison-057

      One thing I'd gently flag: if the other driver's insurance contacts you to settle quickly, please don't sign anything yet. The mental health treatment you might need — therapy, medication after delivery, whatever it ends up being — that's real medical cost and it should be part of any claim. Adjusters will sometimes rush a settlement before you even know the full picture of what you're dealing with.

    • 3
      quiet-optimist609

      How long did it end up taking in your case?

  • 16
    bold-owl-026

    Seconding what the person above said. I used to work on the claims side and honestly, psychological injury claims are ones adjusters are specifically trained to minimize early on. They'll point to the fact that you and baby were discharged and try to close the file fast. The mental health component — especially if it requires ongoing treatment — has real value and you shouldn't give it away in a quick settlement. Document everything. Even journal entries about your anxiety episodes can matter later.

  • 15
    gentle-sparrow-025

    I wasn't pregnant but I was in a bad side-impact last year and the intersection anxiety you're describing lasted for months for me. Every time someone slowed down fast near me I'd basically leave my body for a second. It's not weakness — your nervous system literally went through something traumatic and it doesn't care that the danger is over. Please don't push it down. That's the one thing I wish I'd done differently.

  • 14
    bright-beaver-236

    I just want to say I'm so relieved your little girl is okay. And also — you went through something genuinely terrifying. You're allowed to not be fine. The fact that the baby is physically okay doesn't mean YOU don't get to fall apart a little. Please be as gentle with yourself as you would be with someone you love going through this.

  • 14
    calm-crow-187

    From a process standpoint, make sure you're keeping records of any mental health treatment you seek — appointment dates, provider names, any diagnosis you receive. Things like therapy for PTSD or anxiety stemming from the crash can absolutely be included in a personal injury claim as damages. It's not just medical bills and car repair. Emotional distress is recognized. And definitely don't give a recorded statement to the other driver's insurance without understanding your rights first.

  • 9
    bright-newt-655

    I know the mental spiral is real and I'm not trying to minimize it at all — but the fact that you're naming it, that you recognized what happened in your sister's car instead of just pushing through, that's actually huge. A lot of people go months without realizing their nervous system is stuck in crisis mode. You're already ahead of where I was when I finally admitted I needed help after my accident.

    • 8
      mellow-overpass821

      Following up on this — any update on how it turned out?

  • 5
    careful-crow-181

    You need a therapist who specializes in trauma, full stop. Not a general counselor, someone with actual EMDR or somatic trauma experience. Ask your OB for a referral today. The pregnancy actually makes this more urgent, not less — you want to go into delivery with as much nervous system regulation as possible, and you deserve support right now, not after the baby comes.

    • 7
      weary-dreamer583

      Did you have to escalate, or did they come around after the first ask?