The Shoulder
The Shoulder
67
Recovery & winscareful-badger-565

5 days out from my accident and I finally sat outside without panicking — small win I guess

I don't even know why I'm posting this. I think I just need somewhere to put it.

Some guy blew through a red light on Wednesday and hit the driver's side of my car going pretty fast. Total fluke that I'm not in worse shape. My car is gone — they already called it a total loss — and I ended up with a pretty bad gash on my left forearm that needed a lot of stitches, plus what they think is a partially torn muscle in my shoulder. My whole left arm feels like dead weight half the time.

The physical stuff is awful, but honestly? The mental side is destroying me more right now. I keep replaying the sound of the impact. Like on a loop. I'll be doing something totally normal — pouring coffee, brushing my teeth — and suddenly I'm back in that intersection and my heart is pounding out of my chest. I had a panic attack just looking at my rental car yesterday. Didn't even get in it.

Driving used to be something I genuinely loved. Long stretches of road, good music, windows down. It was how I reset after hard days. Now I can't imagine getting behind the wheel again and that loss on top of everything else feels weirdly devastating.

Today I made it outside to sit on my porch for about 20 minutes and that's the most "okay" I've felt since Wednesday. So. That's something.

Has anyone else dealt with the mental replay stuff? Does it actually get better or am I going to be living in that intersection forever? Also — do I even need a lawyer for something like this or is that overkill when the other driver was clearly at fault?

11replies

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11 replies

  • 17
    kind-dove-273

    I just want to say — 20 minutes on the porch is genuinely a big deal five days after something like this. Please don't minimize it. You went through something really scary and your body and brain are both trying to heal at the same time. Rooting for you from the internet, stranger. 💙

    • 7
      weary-optimist849

      Wish I had seen this a month ago — would have saved me a lot of stress.

  • 15
    bold-vole-019

    The replay thing is so real and nobody warns you about it. For me it lasted a few weeks pretty intensely and then slowly started to fade. Not gone, but quieter. The porch moment you described — that's exactly how my recovery went too, just tiny little wins stacked up. You're not broken, your brain is just trying to process something terrifying. Be patient with yourself.

    • 21
      hearty-crow-169

      What you're describing with the intrusive replays and the panic response sounds a lot like acute stress reaction, which is incredibly common after a traumatic accident. It can develop into PTSD if it goes untreated, so please don't brush it off just because there's no visible wound for it. Mention it explicitly to your doctor — not just the shoulder and arm — so it gets documented. That also matters if you end up in any kind of claim process later. Your mental health treatment is a real part of your recovery.

    • 20
      calm-swift-025

      Please be careful if the other driver's insurance contacts you. They will seem really friendly and helpful. They are not. Their job is to close your claim as cheaply as possible, and they will try to do it fast — before you even know the full extent of your shoulder injury or how long the mental health stuff lasts. Don't sign or agree to anything yet.

  • 15
    sharp-grouse-913

    Jumping on what the person above said — I used to work on the insurance side and early settlement offers on injury claims are almost always low. Like, significantly low. The strategy is to reach out while you're still overwhelmed and just want it to be over. If your shoulder injury ends up needing surgery or physical therapy for months, that first offer won't come close to covering it. At minimum, wait until you have a clearer medical picture before you even entertain a number.

    • 8
      candid-crow-691

      Three things: 1) See a doctor specifically about the mental health symptoms, not just the physical injuries. 2) Don't talk to the other driver's insurance without understanding your rights first. 3) Document everything — photos, medical visits, how you're feeling day to day. Even just voice memos to yourself. You'll thank yourself later whether this goes to a claim or not.

    • 2
      patient-passenger341

      Did you have to escalate, or did they come around after the first ask?

  • 11
    clear-badger-706

    Not legal advice, but — no, it's not "overkill" to talk to a PI attorney when the other driver ran a red light and you have documented injuries. Most do free consultations and work on contingency so there's no upfront cost. Clear liability doesn't mean the insurance process is simple or that you'll automatically be made whole. Worth at least one conversation before you talk numbers with any adjuster. The shoulder injury alone could have long-term implications that aren't obvious yet.

    • 3
      gentle-commuter491

      How long did it end up taking in your case?

  • 5
    kind-wolf-682

    You got yourself outside. You wrote this post. You're processing it instead of burying it. Honestly that's more self-awareness than a lot of people have after trauma. The love of driving doesn't have to be gone forever — it's just on pause while your nervous system recovers. It can come back.