The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Car accidentskeen-tern-736

4-way stop collision — pretty sure the other driver blew through it, but now I'm second-guessing myself

So this happened two days ago and I genuinely cannot stop replaying it in my head.

Basic setup: I pulled up to a 4-way stop, came to a full stop, checked both directions, and started moving through. Out of nowhere a pickup truck just... kept going. Didn't stop, or if he did it was for like half a second. He clipped my front end so hard my car spun almost 90 degrees.

Here's what's messing with me — I know I stopped. I always stop at that intersection because it's a weird angle and visibility is rough. But because I didn't have a dashcam (I'm ordering one tonight, lesson learned), it's basically my word against his. He's already telling his insurance I was the one who rolled through.

What really got under my skin was right after we pulled over, he had the nerve to tell me I should've "seen him coming." My front axle is visibly bent and my tire is sitting at a 45-degree angle. Like, sir, this is not a fender bender.

I filed a police report on scene and I'm hoping there's some kind of traffic camera nearby — I noticed a light pole with a box on it but I don't know if it's actually recording. My neck started hurting this morning and I've got some bruising across my chest from the seatbelt.

Has anyone dealt with a he-said/she-said situation at a stop sign before? How did it play out for you? Did any camera footage actually come through? I feel like I'm already being set up to take the blame for something that wasn't my fault.

11replies

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11 replies

  • 10
    curious-mole-535

    Ugh, I went through almost this exact thing last year. No dashcam, other driver lying, and I felt completely powerless. What saved me was a nearby business that had a parking lot camera pointed toward the street. I'd honestly just start knocking on doors near that intersection — gas stations, restaurants, shops — and ask if they have exterior cameras and if you can get a copy before the footage gets overwritten. A lot of systems only keep like 72 hours of footage so do it TODAY if you can.

    • 7
      clever-bison-828

      Whatever you do, don't give a recorded statement to his insurance company. They will ask you leading questions and use your own words to assign you more fault than you deserve. You're not obligated to talk to the other driver's insurer — only your own. And even with your own, be careful how you phrase things.

    • 12
      calm-raven-093

      A few practical things worth doing right now:

      1. Write down everything you remember while it's fresh — time, weather, exactly where each car was, what was said afterward. Even just in your phone notes. 2. Take photos of the intersection itself (signage, sight lines, road markings) not just your car. 3. Follow up with the police department about that camera footage — you may need to submit a public records request and some departments process those slowly, so the sooner you ask the better.

      Not legal advice, just stuff I've seen matter in the claim process.

    • 7
      weary-rider360

      Appreciate the detailed write-up. Saving this for later.

  • 12
    clever-swan-450

    Speaking from experience on the other side of the desk — adjusters at the other driver's carrier are going to try to split liability or pin it on you if there's any ambiguity. They're not trying to be malicious, they're just protecting their insured. That said, any camera footage, witness contact info, or even a consistent injury timeline (like your neck pain starting the next morning and being documented by a doctor) all help build your side of the story. Get seen medically. Today if you can. An undocumented injury is basically a non-injury in claims world.

  • 11
    silent-wolf-200

    Please go get evaluated even if the pain feels manageable right now. Whiplash and soft tissue injuries from seatbelt trauma can feel like a 3 out of 10 today and a 9 out of 10 by day four. Your body is still flooded with adrenaline. Don't wait until it gets bad to create that medical record — the gap in time between the accident and treatment is something insurers love to use against you.

  • 18
    wise-swan-237

    Not legal advice, but I'd say this: comparative fault states handle these situations differently, and even if you're found partially at fault, that doesn't necessarily mean you get nothing. The bigger issue right now is preserving evidence — that potential camera footage has a short lifespan. If you're dealing with an injury on top of a disputed liability situation, it might be worth at least a free consult with a PI attorney just to understand your options. Most won't charge you anything to talk.

  • 9
    plain-beaver-061

    Stop second-guessing yourself. You know what you did. Focus your energy on two things: finding that footage and getting a doctor to document your injuries. Everything else is noise right now.

    • 2
      tired-rider313

      Really glad you posted an update — gives the rest of us some hope.

  • 6
    silent-seal-384

    I'm so sorry this happened to you. The fact that he told you to just deal with it while your car was clearly undriveable says a lot about his character. Please take care of yourself first — the insurance stuff can get sorted but only you can make sure you're actually okay physically. Rooting for you.

    • 3
      tired-optimist446

      Wish I had seen this a month ago — would have saved me a lot of stress.