The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Car accidentsquiet-beaver-665

3 years out from a crash that almost killed me — wanted to share where I ended up

Not sure what made me want to post this today, maybe just feeling reflective. About three years ago a pickup truck ran a red light and T-boned me on the driver's side. I won't get into all the gory details but I spent weeks in the hospital, had two surgeries, and was told by more than one doctor that I should 'adjust my expectations' about ever living an active life again.

I was 31. I wasn't ready to accept that.

I cried a lot. I was angry a lot. Physical therapy felt humiliating at first because I was doing things I could've done with my eyes closed before the crash. But I kept going. Then I started working with a trainer who specialized in post-injury clients and something just clicked.

Fast forward to now — I run a local hiking group, I kayak on weekends, and last spring I completed a sprint triathlon I signed up for mostly as a dare to myself. I still have one nerve-damaged finger that doesn't fully cooperate and some mornings my hip reminds me what happened. But I'm here and I'm moving.

The legal side was its own nightmare and I'm happy to talk about that too if anyone's curious. But honestly I just wanted to come on here and say — if you're in the early ugly part of recovery right now, I see you. It doesn't feel like it yet but there's a version of your life on the other side of this that's still worth showing up for.

Anyone else far enough out that they want to talk about what the long road actually looked like? I feel like the early support kind of disappears and people assume you're 'fine' after a certain point.

11replies

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11 replies

  • 14
    kind-sparrow-410

    This genuinely made me tear up a little. I'm about 14 months out from a rear-end collision that herniated two discs and I'm still in that 'early ugly part' you mentioned. Some days I feel like I'm never getting back to who I was. Hearing you talk about a triathlon three years later — I needed that today more than you know. Thank you for posting.

    • 0
      calm-neighbor207

      Curious whether you did this on your own or had help with it.

  • 13
    genuine-swan-737

    As someone who works in rehab medicine, I want to say that stories like yours matter so much. Providers give conservative prognoses for a reason — we don't want patients to push too hard too fast — but sometimes that messaging lands as 'give up' when it's really meant as 'be patient.' The nervous system and soft tissue can keep adapting for years after a serious trauma. The fact that you found a trainer who understood post-injury work was huge. That specialty knowledge makes a real difference.

  • 15
    warm-hare-819

    I don't even know you and I'm so proud of you?? A triathlon!! That's incredible. Also the part about support disappearing after a while is so real — everyone rallies at first and then kind of assumes you're okay. You're not making it up when things are still hard a year or two later.

    • 9
      tidy-sparrow-267

      Real talk — the 'adjust your expectations' speech from doctors is sometimes necessary but it can also become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you let it. You didn't. That took stubbornness and guts. For anyone in early recovery reading this: get the second opinion, find the PT who actually specializes in your type of injury, and don't let one person's prognosis become your ceiling.

    • 9
      patient-optimist919

      This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you.

  • 13
    wise-heron-668

    Since you mentioned the legal side being a nightmare — I just want to flag for anyone reading this that insurance companies absolutely use your social media and public activity against you. If you're in an active claim and you post about hiking or a race, adjusters WILL find it and try to say your injuries aren't that serious. I'm not saying don't live your life, just be aware of what you're sharing publicly while a claim is open.

    • 6
      careful-swift-589

      The person above me is right and I'll back that up. I worked on the insurance side for a long time. We had people whose literal job was to monitor claimants' public profiles. Even innocent stuff like a tagged photo at a family cookout where you're standing and smiling could get pulled into a file. It's not fair but it happens. Once your case is fully resolved, share away — but during? Be careful.

  • 17
    calm-kestrel-459

    Really appreciate you sharing this. On the legal side — not legal advice here — but one thing worth knowing is that in serious injury cases, the full impact on your life (loss of enjoyment, what you couldn't do during recovery, emotional toll) is all part of damages. Documenting your journey, even privately, can matter more than people realize. Glad you came out the other side. Genuinely.

  • 8
    candid-kestrel-903

    The part about starting a hiking group hit me. Something genuinely good came out of something awful and you're bringing other people into it. That's not nothing — that's actually kind of extraordinary.

    • 7
      tired-wanderer764

      Thanks for sharing. Hope things are getting a little easier for you.