The Shoulder
The Shoulder
60
candid-wren-767

3 weeks out from a bad wreck and my brain won't let me forget it — anyone else?

Physically I'm doing okay-ish. Cracked a couple ribs, had some road rash on my arm, and I'm still dealing with headaches the doctors say are probably concussion-related. But honestly? The body stuff isn't what's keeping me up at night.

It's been almost a month and I cannot stop replaying the whole thing. I was riding shotgun when we got T-boned running through a green light — totally not our fault, other driver blew a stop sign. I remember seeing it coming and having zero time to do anything. Then just... chaos. Glass, noise, spinning. I think I was out for a second or two because there's a gap I can't account for.

Now every single time I'm in a car I'm scanning every intersection like a hawk. My hands literally grip whatever's near me. Last week a delivery truck backfired on the highway and I absolutely lost it — full-body flinch, probably scared my buddy who was driving half to death. He didn't say anything but I could tell.

I keep dreaming about it. Wake up at 3am with my heart pounding and then just lie there. During the day I'll be fine and then out of nowhere I can hear the impact again, clear as anything.

I know I should probably talk to someone. I've been putting it off because I'm dealing with the insurance stuff and the medical bills and it just feels like too much at once.

Did anyone else go through this kind of mental replay after their accident? Does it actually get better or am I just going to be a nervous wreck in cars forever? I don't want to make people around me feel like they're walking on eggshells.

11replies

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11 replies

  • 17
    brave-otter-079

    Yeah, this was me almost exactly. Got rear-ended at highway speed about two years ago and for months afterward I was a complete mess in any moving vehicle. The intrusive sounds, the sudden flinches — my wife thought I was losing my mind. It does get better, I promise, but it took longer than I expected and I had to actually work at it. The thing that helped me most was not avoiding cars entirely, because that made the anxiety worse over time. Hang in there.

  • 17
    brave-sparrow-459

    Make sure you're documenting every single one of these symptoms — the sleep issues, the anxiety in vehicles, all of it. Write it down with dates. I've seen people settle way too early and then realize six months later that the psychological stuff was actually the biggest part of their damages. Adjusters are not going to remind you of that.

  • 17
    clever-sparrow-964

    The fact that you recognize what's happening and can articulate it this clearly honestly puts you ahead of where a lot of people are at the one-month mark. Some folks spend years not connecting their anxiety to the accident at all. You know what's going on, you're asking for help — that's actually a really solid starting point.

    • 9
      gentle-walker371

      Really glad you posted an update — gives the rest of us some hope.

  • 16
    mellow-elk-439

    What you're describing — the replaying, the hypervigilance, waking up at 3am, the physical reactions to triggers like that truck backfiring — those are really classic trauma stress responses. Your nervous system basically got a massive shock and it's still running in high-alert mode. That's not weakness, that's just your brain doing what brains do after something genuinely scary happened to you.

    Please don't put off talking to someone just because the insurance stuff feels overwhelming. A trauma-informed therapist, even just a few sessions, can give you actual tools to work with. And heads up — concussions can also amplify anxiety and emotional dysregulation, so the headaches and the mental stuff may be more connected than you realize. Mention all of it to your doctor if you haven't already.

    • 17
      clear-sparrow-243

      Two things you should do this week: (1) Tell your doctor about the sleep problems and anxiety — get it on record. (2) Look into EMDR therapy specifically. It sounds like some sci-fi thing but there's actually a ton of research behind it for exactly this kind of accident trauma. Don't wait on this stuff hoping it'll just fade. Sometimes it does, sometimes it digs in deeper.

  • 15
    cool-kestrel-176

    Not legal advice, but what you're describing — the PTSD symptoms, the disruption to your daily life, the lasting anxiety — these are real damages that factor into personal injury claims, not just the ER bill. A lot of people don't realize that. Just make sure you're not settling anything before you have a clearer picture of your full recovery, both physical and mental. Talking to a PI attorney for a free consult doesn't commit you to anything.

  • 15
    hearty-marten-787

    Quick question — did the ER or your regular doctor actually diagnose a concussion, or is that your own read on the headaches? I ask because it matters for how aggressively you should be pushing for follow-up care. Concussion symptoms that are still present at a month out usually warrant a neurology referral, not just a wait-and-see.

  • 12
    cool-hare-940

    Former adjuster here. I'll be straight with you — psychological injury claims are real and they're compensable, but they're also the ones that get undervalued most often because people don't document them well. If you're seeing a therapist, keep every receipt and record. If your doctor hasn't officially noted your anxiety and sleep disruption in your chart, bring it up at your next appointment so it's in writing. The gap between what you feel and what's documented can be significant when a claim is being evaluated.

    • 4
      kind-parent719

      Seconding this. The same approach worked for me last year.

  • 9
    curious-raven-491

    I just want to say I'm really sorry you're going through this. You went through something traumatic and your brain and body are responding to trauma. That doesn't make you dramatic or weak. Please be gentle with yourself.