The Shoulder
The Shoulder
60
Car accidentsgentle-grouse-847

3 months post-crash and I'm losing my mind sitting at home — how do you cope?

I don't even know how to start this but I just need to vent somewhere.

Back in the spring I got hit pretty bad — a truck ran a red light and slammed into the driver's side of my car. I walked away thinking I was just shaken up and sore, but after weeks of pain that wasn't going away my doctor finally ordered imaging and found compression fractures in two vertebrae. Nobody caught it at the ER because I guess the initial x-rays didn't show the full picture.

Now I'm looking at months more of restricted activity. My orthopedic specialist basically told me I can't return to my job — I work in a warehouse — until further notice. Could be well into next year before I'm cleared.

I'm a pretty active person. I coach youth soccer on weekends. I'm used to being on my feet and moving constantly. Right now I can't even carry a laundry basket without pain. I spend most of my day on the couch watching stuff I don't even care about, and I can feel myself getting anxious and honestly a little depressed.

I'm doing physical therapy twice a week which helps mentally just because it gets me OUT of the house, but the progress feels so slow.

For people who've been through a long recovery after a serious crash — how did you actually get through the mental part of it? Did it get easier? Did you find things that helped? I feel like the physical injury is almost easier to deal with than the emotional side of being stuck.

Also — should I be documenting how this is affecting my daily life and mental health? Someone mentioned that to me but I wasn't sure if it mattered.

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10 replies

  • 7
    spry-mole-288

    I was basically in the same boat two years ago — spinal injury, couch-bound for months, work completely off the table. The mental spiral is SO real and nobody really warns you about it. What helped me was setting tiny daily goals. Like, not 'recover' but 'walk to the end of the driveway.' Tiny wins kept me from feeling completely useless. It does get easier, I promise, but the first few months are genuinely brutal.

  • 10
    genuine-sparrow-406

    Please don't underestimate what's happening emotionally. What you're describing — the anxiety, the low mood, feeling cut off from your identity — is incredibly common after traumatic injuries, and it's not weakness. It actually has a name: adjustment disorder, and sometimes it edges into depression or even PTSD after crashes. If your primary care doctor doesn't ask about your mental health at your next appointment, bring it up yourself. There are options beyond just waiting it out.

    • 18
      wise-grouse-646

      Yes, document everything. Keep a journal — even just a note on your phone each day. Write down what you can't do, what hurts, how you're sleeping, how you're feeling emotionally. That record becomes really important later, whether it's for your medical team or anything legal. Don't skip this step.

  • 9
    swift-newt-285

    On the documentation question — absolutely yes, and here's why it matters beyond just medical reasons. Insurance companies love to argue that injuries aren't as bad as claimed. A consistent daily log showing how your life has actually changed is something they can't easily dismiss. Don't just rely on what's in your medical records.

    • 10
      genuine-newt-679

      The mental health and lifestyle impact piece is actually really significant in personal injury cases — it's often called 'pain and suffering' or 'loss of enjoyment of life.' Things like not being able to coach your soccer team, not sleeping, dealing with anxiety — those are legitimate damages, not just fluff. If you haven't already spoken with a PI attorney (most do free consultations), it might be worth understanding what you're entitled to, especially with a missed diagnosis situation in the mix.

  • 8
    swift-otter-131

    I just want to say I'm really sorry you're going through this. The fact that you coach kids' soccer on weekends tells me you're someone who's always giving energy to others, and being forced to just sit and receive is so hard for people like that. Sending you a lot of good thoughts. You're not alone in this.

    • 11
      tidy-dove-891

      I know it's hard to see right now, but the fact that you're in PT twice a week and pushing through this says a lot. Some people with your type of injury end up in a much darker place because they stop engaging with recovery entirely. You're fighting it. That matters and it WILL add up, even when it feels like it isn't.

  • 7
    spry-owl-453

    Not legal advice, but the missed diagnosis at the ER is worth flagging to any attorney you consult with — that timeline (initial imaging missed the fractures, diagnosis came weeks later) can actually be relevant to how damages are framed. Lost wages from a physical job over many months is also significant. Just make sure you're keeping all your pay stubs and any documentation from your employer about your work restrictions.

  • 20
    bright-stoat-673

    Genuine question — has your ortho given you any kind of projected timeline at all, or is it completely open-ended? I ask because 'could be into next year' is pretty vague, and sometimes it's worth getting a second opinion on the treatment plan just to make sure everyone's on the same page about what recovery actually looks like.

    • 2
      level-late-shift929

      Following up on this — any update on how it turned out?